Home » Become An Autopian Member For A Shot At A Valterri Bottas Speedo (Or Towel To Put Your Bottas On)

Become An Autopian Member For A Shot At A Valterri Bottas Speedo (Or Towel To Put Your Bottas On)

Bottas Swag Ts
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This is our 2nd anniversary month and, in that spirit, we’re giving things away. First, you’re getting 20% off an annual membership or upgrade if you sign up for an annual plan in April (just click that link). Second, if 200 people upgrade/gift/buy a membership then David will buy a Pontiac Aztek and live in it for a week (we are 69 short). Third, and this is new, if you become a new member you’ll have a chance at a real Valterri Bottas speedo, towel, or air freshener. Sign up now!

As you may have seen, we planned to rent the Valtteri Bottas ute, and eventually ended up getting to do it. One of the surprises for Lewin, who did the renting, was that the ute had a bunch of swag. As is our policy, we like to share the swag we get with members!

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

And, oh boy, there’s a bunch of swag. Let’s start with the big stuff.

Put Your Budgy In A Bottas Budgy Smuggler

Bottas Budgy Smuggler

Uber Carshare Australia gave us the now infamous Valtteri Bottas swimming brief, known as a budgy smuggler in Australia. It has his face on it, because that’s the joke. We have three of these to give away and I’m going to give two to existing members and one to a member who signs up in April. Given the numbers, the odds are pretty good!

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Bottas Shower

 

We cannot promise you will look this good, however.

Park Your Bottas On This Towel

Bottas Towel

I love this ute. What a ridiculous idea. The towels also have Valtteri’s face on them and the phrase “park your Bottas right here,” which is a good joke. Because his name sounds like boat-ass when pronounced by Americans. It’s the same deal as above, 2x towels are going to existing members and one towel to a new April sign-upee.

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Make Your Car Smell Like Bottas

Bottas Air Freshner

What does Valtteri Bottas smell like? I have no idea. I bet it’s great. I bet Bottas giffs off a freshly cut Finnish pine tree scent. Again, two of these mustachioed dudes are going to existing members, one of them is going to a new-as-of-April member.

Bottas Gear

That’s a total of 9 giveaways, with three going to people who become new members this month (that link is for Vinyl, if you want to gift a membership, or buy a different plan, you can use this link or code mustang2yearanniversary). You can also just become a monthly member and you’re in! There’s no discount, but it’s the cheapest/easiest way to do it.

What are you waiting for? Get your Bottas in gear.

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Double Wide Harvey Park
Double Wide Harvey Park
6 months ago

You’d get more rich Corinthian leather subs if you raffled off a pair of Valtteri speedos as worn by DT during his weeklong camping trip in the Aztek just for RCL-tier members.

Lewin Day
Lewin Day
6 months ago

We’re not overly proud or anything but I think we’re above selling used swimsuits (for now).

Tom W
Tom W
6 months ago
Reply to  Lewin Day

Thank the oil soaked automotive gods for this small kindness. ew

Urban Runabout
Urban Runabout
6 months ago

Ohhh – I’d love to have that guy’s face on my bulge…

W124
W124
6 months ago

Does anyone ever proofread anything on this site? He is called Valtteri, not Valterri for goddammit’s sake.

Rafael
Rafael
6 months ago
Reply to  W124

Speaking for myself, took me three tries to see the difference on what you wrote, and up till now I could swear the guy’s name was Valtieri.
Well, this is now up for grabs, I guess!

Autonerdery
Autonerdery
6 months ago

I think I could rock the budgy smugglers.

We cannot promise you will look this good, however.

From the waist up, no, but not gonna lie, I think my legs might be better.

SNL-LOL Jr
SNL-LOL Jr
6 months ago

How ’bout we *threaten* non-members about being sent these swag, unless they sign up?

A. Barth
A. Barth
6 months ago

Given the numbers, the odds are pretty good!

The odds are good but the goods are odd.

Jack Beckman
Jack Beckman
6 months ago

I thought you *wanted* new members…

SNL-LOL Jr
SNL-LOL Jr
6 months ago
Reply to  Jack Beckman

Maybe DT sees the new sign-up counter approaching 200 and becomes desperate.

Data
Data
6 months ago

You can’t fool me, that’s Brian Dennehy.

Vanillasludge
Vanillasludge
6 months ago

Rejected Bottas chachkies:

Sauber pit-timer/sundial

George Russell voodoo doll

Mullett wig once worn by Lewis Hamilton

Lewin Day
Lewin Day
6 months ago
Reply to  Vanillasludge

Underappreciated comment. Sundial had me going.

Outofstep
Outofstep
6 months ago
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