Home » Cars For The End Of The World: 1996 Chevrolet Silverado C1500 vs 2003 Mercury Grand Marquis

Cars For The End Of The World: 1996 Chevrolet Silverado C1500 vs 2003 Mercury Grand Marquis

C1500 Vs Grand Marquis
ADVERTISEMENT

Welcome back to Shitbox Showdown, where we go hunting for lawn ornaments. Today, we’re getting apocalyptic with it. You know, cars that would probably still exist if something world-altering happened tomorrow. But first, let’s check in to see which of our Hawaiian machines emerged victorious.

Cooper S Vs Sl500 Final

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Return of the Mack, baby. The Mini is great, but the SL500 is just baller, so I’m not surprised it got the win. Anyway, let’s talk about cars for the end of the world. Dirt-cheap, indestructible machines that’ll keep going with virtually zero maintenance and shrug off having to ram debris. Let’s face it, if the end of the world does happen, it’ll more likely be climate-related than zombie-related, so reasonable ground clearance and a full frame to get through the aftermath of extreme weather events sounds nice. So, here are the challengers, which one shall triumph?

1996 Chevrolet Silverado C1500 – $650

C1500 1

Engine/drivetrain: Five-liter V8, four-speed automatic gearbox, rear-wheel-drive.

ADVERTISEMENT

Location: Ferndale, Michigan

Odometer reading: 143,000 miles

Runs/drives? Of course.

If you want a cheap truck that’s basically indestructible, it’s hard to go wrong with a 305-powered GMT400. Not only were these trucks immensely popular, they feature notably improved refinement over a squarebody yet maintain an air of running badly longer than most vehicle will run at all. Classic GM, am I right?

C1500 2

ADVERTISEMENT

Under the hood of this beaten Silverado sits Chevrolet’s infamous 305 five-liter small-block V8. It’s not exactly a powerful lump, but it’ll get you wherever you need to go, no matter the circumstances. Best of all, it’s not torque-rich enough to really trouble the 4L60-E four-speed automatic gearbox.

C1500 3

Even from 50 paces, I feel like this truck would look pretty rough. It’s packing Michigan rust, dents, missing trim, and cracked corner lenses. Still, there’s something rugged and relieving about it, almost like freedom from caring. This is a truck that could see some serious mayhem and come out the other side looking no worse than when you bought it.

C1500 4

The only interior photo is of a broken door handle, and knowing this generation of GM trucks, I wouldn’t be surprised if the upholstery is slightly tired. The seller claims that the interior’s nice other than the broken handle, but I’m pressing x to doubt here.

ADVERTISEMENT

2003 Mercury Grand Marquis – $2,100

Grand Marquis 1

Engine/drivetrain: 4.6-liter V8, four-speed automatic gearbox, rear-wheel-drive.

Location: Troy, Michigan

Odometer reading: 180,000 miles

Runs/drives? You bet.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ah, the Panther platform. The proven choice for cabbies, cops, airport chauffeurs, and even Bob Bondurant. It’s the last full-frame sedan architecture sold in America, and it underpins this Mercury Grand Marquis. This 2003 model is even the first year of the ultimate frame revision, meaning you can crib parts from the litany of ex-cruisers littering junkyard across the nation.

Grand Marquis 2

Under the hood of this Grand Marquis sits Ford’s two-valve 4.6-liter modular V8 hitched to a four-speed automatic gearbox. It’s not a quick combination, but it’s stout and will run on whatever vaguely combustible pisswater you can find. Old fuel with twigs in it? Throw it in the tank, 4.6 won’t care.

Grand Marquis 3

On the outside, rust is eating at this Grand Marquis in the same places they all start to go, in the front fenders and along the bottoms of the doors. Hey, it’s a full-frame car, so why care about rust if it’s not structural? However, this thing looks fairly good aside from the rust, with none of the bumper hockey scars often associated with cheap cars.

ADVERTISEMENT

Grand Marquis 4

Thankfully, the interior of this Grand Marquis actually looks quite nice. The seats look clean, the trunk looks immaculate, and the seller even claims that the air conditioning blows cold. Forget a beater with a heater, ride in luxury with this thing.

So there we are, two very solid vehicles for the end of the world. One’s a whole lot more expensive than the other, but cost seems directly related to condition. As usual, choose wisely.

(Photo credits: Craigslist sellers)

ADVERTISEMENT

Relatedbar

Don’t Eat The Snow In Hawaii: 2004 Mini Cooper S vs 2000 Mercedes-Benz SL500

The Mercury Villager Nautica Always Reminded Me Of This Particular Shoe: Mercury Monday

The 2024 Chevrolet Silverado HD Will Make Your Fifth-Wheel Trailer Invisible

The Mercury Bobcat Was A Lesson In The Barest Definition Of Luxury: Mercury Monday (On Friday!)

ADVERTISEMENT

Moving Is Terrible And Moving David Is Worse: Day One On The Road (UPDATE: St. Louis Reader Meetup!)!)

Got a hot tip? Send it to us here. Or check out the stories on our homepage.

Support our mission of championing car culture by becoming an Official Autopian Member.

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on whatsapp
WhatsApp
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on reddit
Reddit
Subscribe
Notify of
39 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Manwich Sandwich
Manwich Sandwich
1 year ago

Mercury for me. I’m guessing the Mercury will be way nicer to drive than the pickup truck. And I don’t need to tow a trailer or haul bedloads of mulch or whatever it is people with pickup trucks ‘need’ to haul.

And if I did, I probably wouldn’t want to do it with a $650 pickup truck.

Slow Joe Crow
Slow Joe Crow
1 year ago

Abstain in favor of rust free Oregon vehicles. Although I will note that even a GMT400 will succumb. #1 son’s 96 Suburban has a failing bearing in the 350 V8 and those 4L60 transmissions are failure prone so that’s currently the majority of the Suburban’s value along with some good tires

Cheats McCheats
Cheats McCheats
1 year ago

Where is the option for both? Less than 3K for 2 great beaters? Yes please,

Myk El
Myk El
1 year ago

Taking the Mercury. Perhaps I can go to a junk yard and get the bits to update it to the de Sade trim package.

Drive By Commenter
Drive By Commenter
1 year ago

I have Stockholm syndrome with GM vehicles. Chevy it is!

Factoryhack
Factoryhack
1 year ago

C”mon, everyone in the doomsday prepper community already knows that true “end of the world” vehicles need to have a carburetor.

What are you going to do when a giant solar flare or a North Korean EMP hits us and all the electronics take a permanent nap, smarty pants?

David Tracy and his like will be the only ones who own a car that will start. Yikes.

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
1 year ago

I think neither of these are a good call. My choice? An old Mercedes diesel, preferably of the 4cyl variety with a manual transmission. They are not fast but they are faster than a horse or a bicycle which will be the main competition once the gasoline is gone. Those old Mercedes engines will run forever on biodiesel or even waste vegetable oil if set up to do so and at least you’d have the option of parking it on a hill to bump start it when the battery eventually dies.

Yes you might be able to run the Ford on ethanol if so equipped, however that Ford will use a LOT of ethanol. You’ll need that ethanol for other things.

Droid
Droid
1 year ago

my folks had grand marquis, i drove it when they migrated to florida each year. real good car.
the trunk in the grand marquis is ginormous, i figure you can fit 4 jimmy hoffas in there, more if you chop ’em up.

Manwich Sandwich
Manwich Sandwich
1 year ago
Reply to  Droid

And even more if you mince them like you get in a manwich…

Scoutdude
Scoutdude
1 year ago

Not even a fight, GM (GrandMa) by a mile, way more trouble free life ahead of it than on the Chevy.

XLEJim700
XLEJim700
1 year ago

In 2013 I bought my daughter her first car for college commute: 2003 Grand Marquis Ultimate Edition. It was garage kept, and near mint with 132K on the clock.

It served her well, and I felt OK about the body-on-frame construction even though it was without side airbags. In any event she bumped and banged it a little bit, I replaced the ECU (Ford extended 10-year, 250K warranty), and when she bought herself a new Honda Fit after graduation I got the Marquis back and used it as a daily for several years. The air-bag rear suspension went out, and I replaced that with coils in less than an afternoon, I swapped in a new set of coil packs, changed plugs, and ran it in comfort to 185K when I sold it.

It would register 25 MPG on trip computer (highway), and 17-18 in town. It was comfortable, reasonably nimble, and always inspired confidence.

My daughter got stuck once in the snow on a shallow incline. She called me to come get her, and I showed her how to turn off the traction control, back down the little hill, and gain a little momentum to make the grade. This was the only problem we ever had with the RWD in a Rhode Island winter.

As well appointed as the Ultimate Edition was, it was also somewhat of a work vehicle. I worked on bridges for several years and always felt safe parked in a traffic setup where there was always concern about being rear-ended by a motorist. I read somewhere that the chassis was designed with a 70 MPH rear-impact as a consideration, but this sounds a bit unrealistic. It was a good strong unit though, and I wound up buying a newer 2006 Grand Marquis GS with 33K miles, and then I picked up a 1995 Lincoln Town Car Cartier Edition for the sheer joy of just cruising it. I did wind up using both these cars on bridge decks, and The Townie actually looked pretty cool with the magnetic amber safety bar up on the roof. Nobody really screwed with me ’cause they’d see me get out of The Townie and figure I was “hooked up”. Funny.

The trunk on the ’03 swallowed up a new lawnmower purchase and a roof rack turned it into a poor-man’s flatbed. I hauled everything from kayaks to 16′ lengths of lumber. So yes, it’s the Panther for this ol’ Boomer.

Cal67
Cal67
1 year ago

I voted Chevy because I could probably flip it and double my money in 24 hours without touching it.
Personally I would rather drive the Marquis, but with the price difference if I had to buy one it would be the Chevy. As a die-hard Ford fan it pains me to say this.

All of this is dependent on under-body / frame inspection on both vehicles. As a resident of Ontario with family in Michigan, I am familiar with what salt may have done to both of these vehicles.

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
1 year ago

I was planning to vote for the truck based on the headline, but that one is too far gone. With that much rust, every mechanical repair will be a nightmarish battle with rusty/broken fasteners.

If they were in similar condition for similar prices, gimme a good solid pickup all day long. But between these two, I’ll spend the extra cheddar and ride in the comfort of the Grandpa Marquis.

Geoff Buchholz
Geoff Buchholz
1 year ago

At my age, I’ve earned some comfort. I’ll take the Merc.

Dogisbadob
Dogisbadob
1 year ago

FWIW, the truck is sold

Shop-Teacher
Shop-Teacher
1 year ago
Reply to  Dogisbadob

That doesn’t surprise me. $650 is a screaming deal for a running/driving pickup truck, even with that much rust. I still voted for the Grandpa Marquis.

CPL Rabbit
CPL Rabbit
1 year ago

“Gimme the keys to the Grand Marquis”

This makes me wonder: How many of us pronounce the ‘S’ in “Marquis”?

Michael Beranek
Michael Beranek
1 year ago
Reply to  CPL Rabbit

The same number as those who say “masonary”, “foilage”, and “excape”.

XLEJim700
XLEJim700
1 year ago

Hey, let’s not leave owt “anyways.”

Manwich Sandwich
Manwich Sandwich
1 year ago
Reply to  XLEJim700

Yesh… cant leaf ooot ‘anyways’…

Manwich Sandwich
Manwich Sandwich
1 year ago

Or ‘Lieberry’ instead of ‘library’…

Alex Z
Alex Z
1 year ago

I’ve owned a version of both: a ’99 Suburban (RWD) and an ’01 Grand Marquis. They both have their own benefits and purposes but for all-around beater duty, I’d take the Grand Marquis.

The GMT400 platform is amazing but dates back to the late 80’s and it felt like it in terms of sound insulation and interior fit/finish. Is the extra ground clearance nice? Well, yeah! But do you need the extra clearance or would you rather ride in the Panther platform?

The Grand Marquis averaged 17 mpg always – loaded/empty/didn’t matter. Easy cruiser and friends were always comfy in it.

Parsko
Parsko
1 year ago

I’m in my 40’s, and have been driving a grandpa car the past year. 9/10 times it’s better.

Drew
Drew
1 year ago

The price difference makes the pickup pretty tempting, though the Mercury does look nice. If the prices were closer, I could vote Mercury.

Acrimonious Mofo
Acrimonious Mofo
1 year ago

I generally hate pick-ups, and this one is in pretty rough shape. The $1450 divergence in price does give one pause though–is the Marquis really a k and a half better than the Chevy? Probably not, but I am voting for it anyhow.

Nsane In The MembraNe
Nsane In The MembraNe
1 year ago

Give me the grandpa car. Luxobarge life is the life for me.

Brandon Forbes
Brandon Forbes
1 year ago

Always wanted a panther, but not for 3x the price of the truck. Though I would be looking underneath at frame rust on both before making a real decision.

The Ultracrepidarian
The Ultracrepidarian
1 year ago
Reply to  Brandon Forbes

The Merc was nicer, but The cheap price of the truck did it for me. A running pickup for 650.

IRegertNothing, Esq.
IRegertNothing, Esq.
1 year ago

The Chevy is suspiciously cheap. They probably only showed the picture of the broken door handle because the rest of the interior looks like a crime scene. I’ll pay extra for the Grand Ma that has a surprisingly nice interior and rusty fenders I can learn to live with.

Mark
Mark
1 year ago

That’s Fashionable Ferndale thank you very much.

Dar Khorse
Dar Khorse
1 year ago

As a former owner of a 1996 1500 and a 1999 2500, I have a soft spot for these GM trucks, but they gots to be 4×4. If I have to choose RWD only, I’d rather ride in comfort in that Cougar, I mean, Grand Marquis.

Eva
Eva
1 year ago

This was a tough one, if it was for some kind of emergency vehicle I’d go for the Chevy but I’ve always had a soft spot for the panther bodies otherwise.

39
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x