One of the greatest things about the modern era of cars is the democratization of power. It used to be that you needed to pay six figures or more to get ludicrous horsepower and speed. Now, you could afford to go fast on more or less a middle-class salary. EV depreciation also suggests that super fast cars like Porsche Taycan Turbo GTs and Tesla Plaids may also be available to large swaths of people as well.
At the same time, that greatness could also be scary. There are lots of folks who have no business being the steward of 300 HP, let alone what a highly depreciated performance EV could do one day. Wait, hold on a moment here, what in the heck is Porsche smoking? From V10omous:
It’s nearly a 3 way tie between what offends me most here:
1- The idea of a 5000 lb electric sedan with a weight saving package that includes no rear seat (why would it still need rear doors?).
2- Using “Turbo” to mean “fast” rather than its actual meaning.
3- Given typical EV depreciation, the idea that low 9 second quarter mile times will soon be in the hands of anyone who can rub two pennies together.
Look, at least Porsche isn’t trying to call a Taycan a coupe!
Thebloody_shitposter followed it up with this amusing comic:
I’ve decided to embrace the “there is always someone faster than you” and instead focus on enjoying what I own and drive ala The Adventures of Corvette Man comic.
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Matt wrote a Morning Dump that included a mention of Stellantis CEO Carlos Tavares, but no picture. This confuses the Rad Barchetta:
Who is this Carlos Tavares you’re talking about? A picture of him might help.
Or, maybe, it’s as TheDrunkenWrench says:
I always assumed Tavares was his middle name, his surname being “Pictured Above”
This morning, Jason wrote a Cold Start about a Morris Minor, but what really made me smile was this comment by John Patson:
Family car when growing up — the station wagon one, at least till I was 14. Dad always kept cars at least 15 years when bought new, Mary Jane, (don’t laugh, he was innocent), lasted 18, and is probably still running in the Zimbabwe bush.
If the new owners sanded down the wood, which Dad did every five years.
When both me and my brother reached 6ft, and sister started complaining of the smell, the car had to go.
Next was a DS 21, first car he owned with a heater, five gears, reversing light, wipers with more than one speed, and indicators which did not pop out of the bodywork.
Plus carpets for the back.
New car smell did not last long, Dad managed to get it stuck crossing a ford, and it smelt like river evermore.
I love stories about old family cars, have a great weekend, everyone!
On the plus side about ridiculously fast EVs getting cheap, by the time a Taycan Turbo hits the buy-here, pay-here lots, the battery will be wrecked so that the new owner will be forced to live life “a quarter mile at a time” because that’s how far it’ll go on a charge.
You kids are *hilarious*. In the ’80s, EVERYTHING that was “fast” was labeled turbo, including the button that changed your computer from 5Mhz to 8Mhz of blazing speed.
And coupe and sedan have never had anything to do with the number of doors a car has.
How old are you?
55 going on 90.
You had me with TURBO
You lost me with coupe vs. sedan
WORDS HAVE MEANINGS
There are 2dr sedans and 4dr coupes. Just because a configuration is uncommon, doesn’t mean it’s not a thing.
This is a sedan:
https://www.classicautomall.com/vehicles/3272/1956-chevrolet-210-2-door-sedan
And this is a coupe:
https://www.gallery-aaldering.com/rover-p5b-3-5-coupe-1972-2/
That most Americans don’t seem to understand this absolutely baffles me. But history doesn’t seem to be a strong suit in this country, especially among the younger crowd.
lol pressing the Turbo button made the computers run slower, not faster!
Actually true :’D Games were designed around a certain clock speed. Then computers got faster; the Turbo button was added to restrict the clock speed so the games wouldn’t break as their framerates and internal timers weren’t matching up.
The slower speed was the default on all of the computers I had in that era – pressing the button made them run faster. YMMV by maker.
It doesn’t need rear doors, but if you look at it from a manufacturing perspective, it’s easier (and cheaper) to just leave them there rather than design and build tooling and production line for a low volume product.
I see what you did there, picturing Carlos Tavares below.
I am usually wrong about everything, but my guess is these will never hit “cheap”…they will dip into the $25-30k range and then become uneconomical to repair vs scrap for raw materials.
I don’t foresee a 2032 with $6000 Taycans sporting rattle-can paint jobs.
Even if that’s the bottom of the curve, a lot of people can afford $25K and 9 second performance for that price would attract a lot of folks who should maybe know better.
As someone who streeted a low 10 second car, anyone who would use it shouldn’t. Correlation between income/wealth and judgement/reflexes is weak to the point of insignificance.
At least by that point the battery will be so degraded that they’ll only be able to be a jackass for 10 minutes before needing to plug in for several hours…
My jag pushes 380hp in a pretty heavy car – it is still was way beyond fast enough for the suburbs and the occasional blast down the interstate.
With that said, would i be more than happy to try something with 500 or 600 hp.. hell yes.
I used to drive a 340bhp six-cylinder hatchback. That had more than enough performance, to the point of becoming dangerous if you don’t know what your are doing.
It is ironic that these days of accessible mega-performance, roads are more policed and speed limits more observed than ever.
No. They save that for the Cayenne.
Look at how many 4.8 second 0-60 Model Y’s are running around. 400ish horsepower. A $1000ish chip gets those cars to about 500 hp and a 4.2 second dash to 60. Crazy.
Thanks, Mercedes!
Sincerely,
“THE” Rad Barchetta
I feel like V10nomous is from a different generation than I am. Turbo = fast, Knight Rider turbo boost = jump over things, turbo button on my pc = go from 4.77Mhz to 8Mhz! Slow down there speedy! Airwolf Turbo Boost = somehow go faster than a jet and not have the rotor blades rip off, Turbo Teen = turn into a car.
Right? “Turbo” can mean ANYTHING!:
https://9gag.com/gag/aBQe7AZ
Turbo was my generation’s “4K” or “HD”, I think the progression is:
Turbo(70s/80s)
Max (80s/90s)
Hyper(90s/2000s)
HD(2010s)
Generally I just to go with what blublockers are calling themselves these days.
Don’t forget “EXTRREEEEEEEMMEEEEEEE!!!”
Lol, omg yes! Extreme!!!!!! Like Loonatics!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9nOD1h0m8Q&ab_channel=TLGMedia
That bunny is what I imagine the drivers of angry Jeeps are like.
In keeping with that/our generation, it’s also the name of a lousy character from the Gobots. Which is itself a derpy version of Transformers. Or they wished it was anyway.
They had a crossover with “rock lords”. The toys literally transformed into a rock. So stupid. I had the gold one with the jetpack =P
I got in big trouble for throwing a Rock Lord through a plate glass window. I think it was the brown one?
As another local pedant, I’ll note that GoBots hit the US market before the Transformers. They were both rebrands/modifications of Japanese toy lines.
IIRC, the ‘Transformers’ were part of two separate toy lines? The Decepticons and the Autobots were bought up, and the IP was close enough to try to make it work as a
21 minute advertisement for toyssomething that would entertain in the US.I probably have all of that wrong. I do know that it pales in comparison of the sh!tshow mashup that was used to create He-Man.
The Toys that Made Us on Netflix is an awesome deep dive into toy franchises. Season 1 episode 3 is about He-Man and Season 2 episode 2 is about Transformers. Transformers were adapted from the Japanese Diaclone and Micro Change toy lines by Takara.
That’s what it was! I knew it was floating around in my head, but wasn’t going to take credit for “knowing stuff” when I wasn’t even sure how ti started floating in the first place.
I think that was where I first saw the part about G.I.JOE being an advertisement for dolls for boys, and my childhood was ruined.
I have an older sister and my action figures rode around in her yellow plastic Barbie C3 Stingray whenever possible.
It was meant more in the spirit of “Gobots sucked so hard that it became the generic version of itself here in the states” (plus I always thought Diaclone was first in OG Japan but maybe not?), but either way…. Gobots was absolutely terrible.
And I say this as someone who watched Powerglide beat a human woman (his gf at the time) in a TF episode and who also owned one of the Gobot flying command centers.
But really…. Your leader is named “Leader-1″…… And you crossover with robots who transform into rocks….. C’mon.
I remember when computers had a “turbo” button that doubled clock speeds, and I suppose thar puts me in whatever generation is old in this context 🙂
In any case, “turbo” = fast works for me in any context that is NOT automotive, because automakers should know better. I won’t grab a pitchfork or anything, but it annoys me nonetheless.
Yes! And for PCs there was very little reason to not have it in “Turbo” mode, as non-turbo mode was mainly for very very old software compatibility.
But yeah pcs, vacuum cleaners, blenders, all things non-automotive had turbo modes, some probably still do. My main gripe with the Taycan Turbo is they don’t have an actual “Turbo” button on the dash. I guess you could tape one over the sport button.
Well, at least with vacuum cleaners it’s technically correct.
The best kind of correct! But really the entire time the vacuum is on it’s in turbo mode.
Me too, although my computer’s Turbo didn’t hit 8Mhz! I think it was more like 4mhz, with turbo on!
I always wondered about that button though. Did anyone ever turn it off? Why?
Early games that used timing loops instead of relying on the system time would be unplayable at double speed.
I think there were some add in cards that wouldn’t work if the computer was speed up too.
Right! I forgot about that. It did have to be turned down sometimes.
I read somewhere that on the old days, most applications counted on specific clock speed to operate correctly – never used one as far as I can recall, so the turbo never went off.
Actually, I think I used to overclock my 486, and might have used the turbo to reduce the stress on non intensive tasks…
If we want to carbon-date you, the next question would be, “Do you remember when there were computers without turbo buttons? Hard Drives? EGA monitors?
I have enough platinum highlights in my beard to remember them all…..
S100 bus.
Actually, I learned basic on a PDP8.
The punched tape holes were as bat as glitter if they spilled.
Holy heck…… Professionally, all I did was face the aftermath of 80 character lines by 40 lines on a CRT whilst working on Y2k for a bank.
As a kid, the trash80, sinclair, and commodore graced me and my friends’ homes. In 3rd grade, my teacher had an Atari 800 that we could play with if we finished work early (or play chess). I remember typing in pages and pages of hex from some magazine, not having any idea how it was working, and getting to the end…
Still, while I think we are similar vintage, you may have me edged a bit.
*raises a glass to GenX*
Oh, I had a PC-XT as an archaeological artifact, because in the wild I’ve encountered only 386 and above. Cut my teeth on that 486, and I remember my joy when I disassembled it for the first time and realized it wasn’t a clone, but a “genuine Intel” – who knew I would be team AMD nowadays?
AMD, the first to hit 1GHz!
I always felt like they made better chips, but had tougher execution as an underdog. Then Intel had that math problem and I was all, “Oh, AMD 4LiFe!”
Also the first to make useful x64 system, to the point of naming the segment for a while! I had one of the first laptops on the new architecture, running XP 64,and was thrilled to be at the bleeding edge for once, instead of dealing with hand me downs and secondhands.
I’m probably just more pedantic.
From now on, I will describe STIs as WRX *TURBOS*. Maybe that will fix it.
Ugh. Just realized we are on only minutes from someone selling a laptop with a NOS mode. ????
Coming? It’s already there with the Scat Packs and Mustang GTs amongst some of the main culprits.
Those cars are fast and certainly can be dangerous in the wrong hands, but my tipping point is 9.X second cars, which are at least supposed to have roll cages at drag strips.
At some point the speed is beyond the capabilities of the median human being to handle responsibly.
You can lose control in a Scat Pack, HellCat or Mustang 5.0 with rear wheel drive a lot easier than in an AWD electric car though. The fastest car I see on the freeway is an Altima most of the time.
That comic is a good illustration of why when people ask me if I’m a “car guy”, I always hesitate. There are different kinds of car guys, I want to explain. Some of them I wouldn’t want to be lumped in with. But… yes.
Yeah, I’m with you. I work on and fix cars as a hobby, including rebuilding engines, transmissions, axles, suspensions, and electrical and interior stuff. Yet my vehicles are all mostly boring looking, with all of the mods being functional instead of aesthetic, and only people who actually know me know I’m a car guy. I don’t begrudge those who pay others to work on their cars, but I also don’t want to be associated with the “hot bois” types nor the kind of folks who put “built, not bought” bumper stickers on their cars.
Never understood those stickers. I mean, I get it, but don’t you also have to buy the stuff to build it? Or are they just stealing shit and then wrenching?
The whole thing seems needlessly dumb.
Are you interested in cars in any way, you’re a car person. End of story.
Well said.
I will admit that I enjoy the irony of seeing the “built, not bought” stickers right next to the stickers for every brand of accessory they purchased to install, especially since I most often see those vehicles in the 4 Wheel Parts parking lot near my house. Then again, I am often amused at the silliness of humans, myself included.
Yeah, it’s an eye-roller. Mostly they don’t even mod stuff to get it to work in a different car, they just buy crap specifically made for their car and slap it on. When they actually build their own car, they can get more than an eyeroll from me, but someone actually building their own car isn’t putting a dumb sticker on it, like someone who’s a genius doesn’t need to tell anyone that they’re a genius.
I love when people say they “modded” something (I notice it a lot in car and computer convos), when really they just bought a part and put it in….. that was made to go there.
Unless you’re going to follow up with some story of woe during the install where you had to fabricate your own solution, that’s not a mod. What you did is fine, just use the right word.
I agree, if you are interested in cars, you can be welcomed in here as a car person. Wait, does that make everyone else “transportation appliance enthusiasts”? That is what 80% of what is on the road is these days. Greyscale and blob shaped.
I never cared for what other people think and I don’t see why someone else’s opinion about whether I’m in their group should matter. Wouldn’t a true car guy be in it for the cars not the dumb bro culture and peacocking, anyway? It reminds me of the wannabe “Alphas” who set their life trying to conform to the standards someone else set for being an “Alpha”, which automatically precludes them becoming what they aspire to. I used to enjoy surprising the shit out of self-styled car guys when the guy in the old station wagon who discussed anything but cars with everyone else suddenly called them out when their BS level hit too high of a bar for me to let go.
I prefer the term “driving enthusiast” for me personally.
I love cars, the engineering involved and I love driving but I’m not here to armchair race about your cousin’s step brother’s 11 sec mustang from 30 years ago.
I like that term, and also I like “parking enthusiast”, as it says on my Autopian grille badge.
Hey, there’s a real art to the perfect park!
I’m on board with the parking enthusiasts.