You know, it’s possible this might be the best example of a vinyl top that actually, you know, works. Because I think it does! This is a 1972 Jaguar XJ coupé, and it’s a really handsome car, one I haven’t thought about in a while, partially because I can’t recall the last time I actually saw one out in the world. I think growing up I may have had a rich friend who had one of these, and I think her dad just complained about it being in the shop all the time. But, seeing this brochure, I get it now. And, even better is the text of the brochure, which isn’t exactly mind-blowing but just has a few details that are so right and so weird.
Look at these elegant bon vivants, teeth glowing in the shadows, affably chortling about some erudite bullshit. The copy here is great because there’s really only one thing they wanted the writer to say – the car is elegant-looking – and then the writer had to stretch that out for those four truncated columns. That’s how we get the idea that the owners of such a machine are “individualists” put like six different ways, and then we get this use of the word “fluent” I’ve never encountered before:
“Here is a distinctive flow of line, emphasized by the simplified window arrangement and the fluent sweep of the black vinyl roof trim.”
Huh. I kinda like it.
I also like this part, which really feels like grasping for some space-filling text. It goes with picture 8 up there:
“8. The insignia of the smooth, flexible power of the XJ5.3C”
So, it’s a picture of the badge, with the copy saying “this is the badge?” Holy shit.
I mean they could have noted the big reverse lamp there and said something like “Wide, crystalline reversing lamps cast a radiant glow to the rear, banishing shadow and making your retrograde progress an effortless and confident affair.”
I also like how moody this picture of the car is. And those tiny, almost cubic rubber bumper guards there, below the inner headlamps. Perfect for those gentle parking taps!
Three different ways to park the wipers. Or wherever it locks in place, that must be it
Dear doctor Torchinsky
I want a black vinyl top on my silver 1966 Mercedes-Benz 250SE Coupé W111. A bit like this. Am I normal? Am I sick? What am I to do?
*That’s not an XJ-C. This is an XJ-C…*
https://www.jaguarheritage.com/jdht/wp-content/uploads/XJ_Broadspeed_08.18_0908-1152w-x-504h-1024×448.jpg
The use of ‘fluent’ instead of the mundane flowing or fluid is meant to evoke an association with affluent, a desirable association for a Jag. I thought of effluent, a far less flattering adjective.
> far less
Whew, that was close.
That would have been… crappy.
I gotta admit that last photo with a LS/T56 swap looks like it would be a lot of fun.
If I’m not mistaken, the XJ-C had a standard vinyl roof for the same reason the Plymouth Superbird did – to hide the sloppy seams where they cut and welded the roof.
Excuse me, I think you’ll find that is fine Coventry drunken craftsmanship.
While in Coventry, I visited the Standard Triumph Club on the site of the old Triumph factory. The grizzled barman told me stories of the continuous stream of workers from the plant dropping in for a pint. During the lunch break they would drink for hours and return to the line “pissed as a newt”.
Years ago in another life I worked for London Underground. The old boys used to regale us youngsters of the times when every line had numerous subsidised staff bars and how they would call ahead and get someone to leave a couple of pints on the platform for the driver and guard to pick up on the way through.
What goes on in The Underground stays in The Underground.
Aka fine Coventry craftsmanship.
*welded* You’re such an optimist.
Urban Myth.
The XJC was actually built from the standard wheelbase XJ sedan shell with an omitted B pillar and welded in side panels aft of the doors. The lengthened door frames were actually the pieces that were assembled from two pieces of sedan doorframes welded together with a bespoke skin.
Jaguar just didn’t bother finishing/filling the lengthwise seams in the roof the way they did the sedans since they knew they were covering it with a fluent sweep of black vinyl roof trim.
More than anything, I find myself fascinated by the smooth fluency of that lady’s glowing teeth.
“Glowing white teeth”….
She’s a Wolf-woman in pantaloons saying,
“All the better to (redacted)…, my dear.”
I read your description of the tail lights and immediately bought three. You should moonlight as a copywriter. That shit was poetry
The unforgivable offence of vinyl tops. Too many otherwise gorgeous cars have succumbed to the indignity. I have twice been obligated to purchase such abominations, due to the cars rarity, and can’t pass price. All the parish-ability, and moisture penetration of a convertible with none of the benefits.
But they’re elegant! Like cheap cigars and Old Spice.
You can actually see the carpet wrinkles around those door speakers. In a MARKETING PHOTO. They look about as well fitted as a bargain bridesmaid’s dress.
“You’ll buy whatever shitcrap we make and you’ll LIKE it!!”
– Auto industry, 1970-1980.
That’s the exclusive Shar Pei fit deep pile carpeting.
That was a design element.
So one could easily ascertain ’twas fitted by genuinely-spirited British Craftsmen.
(whose preference in spirits was generally Gin)
I do love the look of these.
This just reminded me the XJ was the inspiration the Hot Wheels “Fish’d and Chip’d”. Even missing a few headlights (and presumably those rubber bumper guards), it looks better with the chopped roof.
I think it looks a little more Mark X-inspired, but just by virtue of the pillarless hardtop, the XJC was probably tapped a little bit.
Those elegant people are standing around talking about Grey Poupon.
…which, at the time, was only found in the back seats of Rolls Royce Silver Clouds.
Humans are weird. We create styles that are inherently ridiculous and then uniformly followed. Then we celebrate the iconoclasts who dare to finally break the pattern.
Ad copy is a great example, along with bell bottom pants, legalese, and movie scripts. Not to mention landau bars, continental kits, and flying roofs.
Squab, squab: stunned to see this word in context of, you know, elegance. It shows how little I know of the King’s English. Warning: I need to mention the Jello-P here: The sainted Rob Emslie uses the word squab 4 to 5 days per week in describing the destructed seating arrangements in his Nice Price-No Dice cars. I’ve long been accustomed to the word but I would not have thought of using it in polite company. Would appreciate knowledgeable comments or just more of the ridiculous ones.
Squab is a fancy word for baby pigeon, which upperclass Brits like to pretend is a fancy delicacy. Now you know why doves cry. Just trying to use words that denote aristocracy. Seat squab, hah!
Prince reference!
Call me a crude colonist but I much prefer the sound quality of radio speakers on top of the dash particularly when listening to the musical stylings of The Stooges. Kick Out The Jams by the MC5 wouldn’t sound as effervescent coming from speakers fitted inside the doors.
Reads like some product descriptions on Alibaba.
Perfectly cromulent, old chap!
“Reclining front seat squab release lever is easy to hand.”
Wow. I think it’s trying to say it’s easy to lean the seat back, but it’s implying that when you go to lean the seat back, you can release a bevy of small birds.
Came here to say exactly this, but you beat me to it.
“Release the squab!”
Also, THANK YOU AUTOPIAN for killing the auto-play on the videos! It was truly annoying and interfered tremendously with my reading pleasure. Having to position the video window just so in order for it not to drag my eyes away from your glorious text was very troublesome.
On my machine, auto-play is alive and well (?).
The audio is muted, which is nice, but the video resumes every time I scroll past it.
Even if I pause the video manually and then scroll away from it, when I scroll back the video resumes. 🙁 I paused it; it should remain paused until I tell it otherwise.
Gaahhh! You jinxed it! I swear they weren’t auto-playing earlier, but they sure are now.
<rage face>
I hope they fix that soon – it’s super off-putting.
Yeah, the decent thing to do is just have a separate area where videos are posted instead of inlining them everywhere.
The woman in white appears to be wearing pantaloons! What an individualist.
The fellow in the lead pic looks like he’s making a quick getaway.
“I’m borrowing your silverware for an event that I’m having at my place. No no, sorry, I’m quite late for an appointment. Thanks!”
In such a hurry he left the front door wide open.
In my Jaaaaaagggggg.
Vinyl top with no landau bars?
Crack pipe…
To be fair, they do make up for it with the easily to hand front seat squab release lever.
I don’t know what a squab is, or if I should be happy that it is easy to release.
Everybody needs to release a squab now and then. It’s perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
My parents told me that I would go blind and grow hair on my palms…
A squab is a posh pigeon.
I hope that was helpful.
I was surprised Jason didn’t pick up on that as the most egregious space filler of the lot.
You just need some of those self-adhesive stick on Landau bars from an old JC Whitney catalog.
I think Jason or someone had an article about JC Whitney add-ons that included those a while back.
Wasn’t that yesterday?