Good morning! Today we’re in the Sunshine State, the Land of Awesome Headlines, the Realm of the Hanging Chad, looking at two completely useless toys. Why? Because yesterday‘s low vote and comment count shows me that you all don’t care about boring-ass “normal” cars any more than I do. So screw it; let’s get weird.
But we’d better at least look at the results from the yawn-fest. It was close, almost within the range of sheer probability. Fess up; how many of you just flipped a coin to decide? Or voted for the Subaru because it wasn’t silver? Or voted for the Jetta because it wasn’t a Subaru?
For me, it’s no contest, and I think I was probably a bit biased from the start in my presentation. I’d take the Jetta any day of the week and twice on Sundays between these two. I don’t mind slow cars if they handle well, and I prefer simple drivetrains. I’ll forego the Subaru’s slight foul weather all-wheel-drive advantage to avoid all the other baggage that comes along with it.
All right; enough of that. Let’s check out some sketchy shit from Florida.
1989 Suzuki Sidekick – $3,500
Engine/drivetrain: 1.6 liter overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, part-time 4WD
Location: Orlando, FL
Odometer reading: 100,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great, but head straight to the tire shop
Suzuki’s little Jimny mini SUV took America by storm when it was introduced in 1986 as the Samurai. Everybody loved the little Japanese 4×4 – well, everybody except the killjoys at Consumer Reports. The biggest complaint about the Samurai was that it rode and drove like that mining cart that Indiana Jones rode in. Enter the Vitara, sold in the US initially as the Sidekick, with an independent front suspension and coil springs in place of the Samurai’s primitive straight axles and leaf springs.
This suspension arrangement, especially the independent front end, makes lifting the truck more complicated. It can be done, however, and this one has been lifted, a couple inches it looks like. It has also been repainted – badly – and somewhere along the way it lost its rear bumper cover. It also wears what might be the worst tires I have ever seen on a car that’s being sold as drivable. Dry-rot doesn’t even begin to cover it; the tread is coming off in chunks. I’m amazed they’re holding air.
The good news is that the little fuel-injected 1.6 liter Suzuki engine runs great, and sends its power to a five-speed manual gearbox through a brand-new clutch. Whoever did the work was smart and replaced the engine’s rear main seal while they were in there. It’s always a good idea to replace things like that while you have the thing apart, even if it isn’t actively leaking. Because, invariably, shortly after you put it all back together, it will start leaking.
You don’t expect luxury appointments from a little beach 4×4 like this, and the Sidekick doesn’t disappoint. Gray plastic abounds, rubber mats cover the floors, and there’s probably not an ounce of sound-deadening. The advantage to an interior like this is that it’s durable; there isn’t much to break. It starts to look like hell after a while, but everything probably still works.
2016 Polaris Slingshot – $3,000
Engine/drivetrain: 2.4 liter dual overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, RWD
Location: Hollywood, FL
Odometer reading: 5,100 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives fine
This goofy-looking thing is a challenge for regulatory bodies: It’s clearly street-legal, but as what? It isn’t really a car in the traditional sense, with its belt-driven single rear wheel and near-complete lack of bodywork, but it does have traditional car controls including a steering wheel, three pedals that do what you’d expect them to do, and a shift lever in the center console. So you can’t call it a motorcycle either. Instead, it occupies its own category: “autocycle.” You can drive it with a regular driver’s license in every state except Massachusetts, which requires a motorcycle endorsement. Some states require you to wear a helmet, some don’t – but honestly, you’d be mad not to.
This first-generation Slingshot is powered by a General Motors Ecotec four-cylinder, backed by a five-speed manual transmission. 173 horsepower in something several hundred pounds lighter than a Miata, with only one rear wheel to put the power to the ground, sounds like a recipe for donuts to me. I get the feeling it would be fun, but maybe tiresome after a while. The beauty of a really lightweight old sports car like an Austin-Healey Sprite or something is that you can go balls-out through a school zone and no one would bat an eye. Give this thing the beans at the wrong moment, and it could teach you a dangerous lesson.
Inside, it’s primitive, and – one would hope – waterproof. You can get a roof for these, but this one is open-topped. There’s barely a windscreen, and no wipers. Get home before it rains, I guess. This one has only a little over 5,000 miles on it, and the seller says it’s in perfect condition.
I don’t see many of these here in Oregon, even during the dry summer, but I hear they’re popular in some areas, and often driven obnoxiously. You certainly won’t blend into traffic no matter how you drive it. This is not a vehicle for introverts.
You could technically commute or go grocery shopping in either one of these, I suppose, but it’s not really what they’re for. They’re toys, one for the dirt and one for the pavement. Which place would you rather play?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
I’d love to take that Sidekick wheelin with my two friends – one has an F-150 Raptor and the other a Rubicon 392 – just to show them how ridiculously unnecessary their vehicles are.
We took them (actually it was the Jeep owners’ previous Rubicon) to the Dollhouse in the Maze District of Canyonlands Nat’l Park a few years ago. That Raptor was so massive it took 13 hours to go from the Overlook campground to the Dollhouse, which is a distance of 37 miles.
I stacked a lot of rocks that day.
The Slingshot is clearly a price error.
The Suzuki has no appeal to me at $3,500. Maybe $1,500. Even then, it’s a shitty ride that I’d only use in the dirt.
Gotta go with the Suzuki. I have no use for the Slingshot, but the Sidekick would be a great toy. Those concerns about the suspension are no joke. I once watched a Sidekick/Samurai almost flip over on a freeway exit just because the driver took the turn a little too fast.
I kinda like Slingshots, and I don’t know why some people don’t. Lightweight manual transmission topless sports car? Sounds good to me!
“Some states require you to wear a helmet, some don’t – but honestly, you’d be mad not to.”
Why would you be mad not to? It’s a convertible with roll hoops, you wouldn’t wear a helmet to drive most convertibles, would you? It looks to me like this is safer than driving a stock Miata that doesn’t have a roll bar.
Never slingshot…I’ll take the Samurai, looks like fun even though someone had one in high school and it was a piece of junk. Yesterday I chose the Subaru because I’ve heard bad things about newer VW’s…at least that one’s not as bad. I like the Jetta since I used to have an 84 but wouldn’t choose a newer one
I meant Sidekick, not Samurai (similar) Still voted for it. Also, I still like the 90’s Jetta body style (the ones that are still sorta boxy) just not after that
Like most of the rest of you, I wouldn’t be caught dead in a Slingshot. This is despite appearing that I might be a lightly-complected gentleman of a certain age who never learned to ride a motorcycle but would still like to pretend I’m a badass biker. Which seems to be one of the target demographics, at least around here. On the other hand, I have fond memories of driving a Samurai around Costa Rica with a female friend a couple of decades ago. Really easy choice to go with the Sidekick despite the godawful paint.
Either this Slingshot is a deal where you wire money and get scammed, or it is a deal where you show up to buy it and get robbed. Either way, it really isn’t a deal, because this as fake as a three dollar bill with Trump on the front of it.
So I’ll take the Suzuki by default…I think you could get a better example for a little more money.
I am a simple man. I see Suzuki, and I choose it.
I think we need to take up a collection to buy the Sling Shot so David Tracy can drive it from Florida to California and film the adventure.
Suzuki if for no other reason than it has some protection from the yellow face which burns us.
I had a Sidekick and loved it. The (Canadian only?) ones had manual hubs which were a pit*, but otherwise we took out the back seats and had the best little camping buggy ever – it took all you needed where ever you needed to go. Threw away the convertible top after 1 too many break-ins and replaced it with a fiberglass unit which allowed a ski rack and turned the best little camping buggy into also the best little skiing buggy. Drove it until the family expanded, missed it ever since.
Wait, are you saying you don’t like manual hubs? Is it really too inconvenient to get out for a second and twist two knobs?
in the middle of a sudden snow squall on an ice covered 2-lane highway, yes
So…… If it looks like a storm is brewing outside, you lock the hubs before you leave your driveway. Some people just leave their hubs locked all winter, it doesn’t really cost anything but some extra gas. If you plan ahead, you should never need to lock the hubs in a sketchy situation.
Besides, you need your 4wd just to get down the road? Sometimes 4wd can aid stability going down the highway, and sometimes it hurts. I personally only use 4wd on the street when it’s needed for acceleration, and then I go back to 2hi.
nope. according to my owner’s manual the car was not to exceed 60 km/h (~35 mph) when the hubs were locked, and they were only to be operated in 1st and 2nd gear when locked which would get you run off the road given that a major ice/snow can break out here in the middle of a sunny day, I practiced caution based on the projected repair costs and followed that. Great for off road, not so great in my climate. Ever park on the shoulder of a slushy road while sticking you *ss out into the traffic stream doing the front left hub?
Everyone with automatic hubs on these swaps them out for the manual ones.
manual ones don’t work well in snow belts where sudden violent squalls can make it deadly to get out of your car and hunker down by the front wheels, esp if you’re on a 2-lane road full of trucks
I’ve driven a Slingshot once, dealer I bought my motorcycle from let me take it to lunch while they did paperwork. It’s definitely a pretty raw driving experience, everything has a good weight to it. Definitely weird sitting at the same height as most people’s bumper, but it was still a lot of fun. Can’t possibly imagine owning one, though.