Among French car makers, I think Simca tends to get lost in the mix dominated by flamboyant and strange Citroën and classy but conservative Peugeot and otherworldly Panhard and innovative Renault. Simca made some really charming little rear-engined cars and also some much more mechanically conventional cars with tidy, understated Italian-like styling that are very appealing as well. They just get a bit overshadowed. But not today! Today I want to talk about a particular feature of the Simca 1300 or 1500 Break/Estate/Wagon/whatever you want to call it, and how that feature was later picked up by, of all cars, the Honda CR-V.
Look at this pairing of unfamiliar with very familiar! What feature could these two radically different cars, separated by over 40 years, have in common?
Read this last sentence:
Oh yeah. That’s right mothertrusters, we’re talking tables of the motherflapping picnic variety. Check this shit out:
The floor of the cargo area is formica (named because it was originally supposed to be an electrical insulator to replace mica, hence for-mica! Did you know that?) and forms the tabletop of the picnic table when removed! Sure looks familiar if you’ve ever seen this:
Man, I love this. Why isn’t this more common? It’d be really quite easy to do on so many cars. Why are we being denied the lift-out tables we know are possible? Does the government not want us snacking or playing Scrabble al fresco?
More cargo floor tables, carmakers. Get on it.
Also, in this 1968 Simca brochure pic, it’s worth asking how that dude thinks that stuff is going to stay on the roof. I don’t see any rope or bungie cords or anything. Also, damn, they’ve been cranking out some kids! There’s six kids in there! No, wait! Seven! There’s seven! That head peeking out of the back threw me for a second because, well, just look.
Our old JDM Toyota Noah YY is the five-seat version of an eight-seat minivan, with the last row replaced by luggage space. It has three removable plates that divide the luggage space into upper and lower halves, but can be reconfigured to turn the rear of the van into an indoor picnic space.
https://auctions.c.yimg.jp/images.auctions.yahoo.co.jp/image/dr000/auc0212/users/618370053d6fafbcf711ee3dba944500ff7e0d3c/i-img1200x900-1639206309p85es7681033.jpg
https://re-autoguard.co.jp/rocky_blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/DSCN8857.jpg
What a great idea!… but… we take the table plate out to use outside but, as far as I recall over the 15 or so years we’ve owned it, have never done the indoor thing.
Whoa this is awesome…yeah to more tables!
Six of us cousins used to ride in the rear of our grandfather’s Vauxhall Victor FB estate. The fun days before seatbelt laws.
It took me a few seconds to realize that wasn’t the head of a gargoyle on the wall behind the car.
Jason, Thank you and the rest of the crew for the most interesting auto site on the net. Never to cease to be amazed at the fascinating articles y’all come up with. Here’s a suggestion: Maybe an article on the 1907 Adams Farwell. I would be glad to write an article on it. I believe one might still be on display at Harrahs Reno.
Heres why…
5 cylinder radial engine the revolved around it’s own crankshaft!
Removable steering column, could fold front seat down and drive from the rear seat!
First saw article on it in Automobile Quarterly compendium.
What do think? Keep up the good work!
I guessed right!
Me too!
The guy loading luggage is just doing it like my dad used to before my mom ripped him a new one…
Only AFTER everyone was in the hot car, ready to go, he’d start putting luggage on top. Then, after getting it placed just so, he’d strap it down.
My first thought was “that poor bastard,” but he doesn’t seem particularly bothered by having seven children under the age of 10. Weirdo.
With six you get egg roll, with seven, you’re just rolling the dice. You can bet these are no condoms in any of the rooftop luggage. The wife looks like she’s saying, “what are doing back there,” and it’s not the first time she’s asked that.
As an old fart, I can assure you that cars can hold a LOT of kids when you don’t have to worry about safety. Also, I had a ’02 CRV and the table was really handy.
‘safety’ and over parenting have really helped reduce trauma and anxiety. Am I right? In my day we used to walk barefoot both ways across the hall to the bathroom without being strapped into the 7 seat truck to ensure our survival.
Those kids are all roughly the same age, so it appears we have France’s version of the Octomom here.
Either that or the French Duggars, albeit early Duggars since they have only a wagon full of kids.
It’s France, she’s the mistress (mom is the blurry one way in the background glad to see them leave her in peace for a few days).
Or maybe Italy, where she would be one of the kids.
If I’ve learned anything from these Cold Starts that sticks it’s that people hunting in old car brochures lack any sense of muzzle discipline.
Every time.
Their outfits and side by side shotguns are giving me major Elmer Fudd looking down the barrels because it failed to shoot the wabbit vibes.
Three possibilities:
When you have seven kids you can spare a few.
One has an open breech and the other has a grip near the end of the barrel.
Are they up to today’s standards of safety? Not even close. But both were considered acceptable muzzle control back then.
They had muzzle control. “Casual hunting buddies of the 1960s muzzle control” rather than shooting range control.
I’m glad we’ve changed. Get enough loudmouths out there and sometimes it’s hard to feel fully safe on a range these days, even with enhanced standards of conduct. And I only hunt with people who bring full range discipline with them when we go.
Ask Dick Cheney’s hunting partner about range safety. In range, shoot.
TIL Simca was marketed to Catholics.
monty python meaning of life catholics – Google Search
I forgot how funny that was. We need more Monty Python to skewer our institutions.
Every Sperm is Sacred, Every Sperm is Great.
If a Sperm is Wasted, God gets Quite Irate!
We have a 2000 CR-V that we’ve owned for 20 years. 20 flippin’ years. So long it’s becoming a “classic”.
Best car we’ve ever had but it didn’t come with the table.
Apparently the regular balance-of-payments crises of postwar Britain meant commas were still being rationed over two decades after VE Day.
The modern version of that last pic is me throwing luggage on the roof rack of the Mazda 5 while my wife, 3 teenage kids, and large dog cram themselves inside. Taking 2 cars has become the preferred alternative.
That’s Weasley-level or Philip Rivers-levels of kids in that Simca. I’m guessing Weasley because the only way in hell that luggage is sticking is magic.
As it’s French, and I believe decent ride quality is implied, I think the Comfortable Runabout Vehicle moniker also fits.
I’ve been wondering for a while now about whether the picnic table is officially rated for the weight of a period-correct Motocompo. What about two? I’m certain they’d physically fit, but I can’t exactly just buy a pair of them and torture test my wife’s trunk table on a whim. We need a real scientist to take on this challenge.
Tailgate kid knows. That suitcase is as good as gone.
On the other hand, maybe the fully laden car will never go fast enough for the air flow to budge the luggage. All Dad has to do is avoid the bumps.
Any my, that’s a pretty wagon. It’s like a slightly shrinkified greenhouse from a Volvo 240 sitting on top something just a bit more elegant.
Simple classic grill jutting slightly forward, clean body lines, nice glass-to-body proportions, rather compact size: that thing is sharp!
And with the flared arches, whitewalls and minimal arch gap it’s got a proto-stanced (but in a good way) look to it in the top shot photo
https://images-stag.jazelc.com/uploads/theautopian-m2en/cs_simca_table_top.jpg
1500cc? Yeah I’d hoon it
Slightly wider tires—maybe on Mini-Lites. Drop the front about 40mm & the rear 25 or so
Yeah, I’d sport that. Hell, I like it the way it is, especially in that purple
Except on the Volvo 140 and 240 wagons they were too lazy/poor to make rear doors that actually fit the roof profile, and just used the ones from the sedan..
https://www.media.volvocars.com/image/low/6001/1_1/5
(Dad shakes luggage side-to-side)
<<Cela ne mène nulle part.>>
(“That’s not going anywhere.”)
I get the joke but I must ACKSHUALLY this.
> <>
Means “that leads nowhere” (e.g. a dead end or a fool’s errand). Not “that’s not going anywhere” as in “it’s tied down.”
For “that’s not going anywhere” you’d probably say “ça va pas bouger” (maybe?)
The angled brackets are a nice touch.
Merci beaucoup, Harvey. I leave for France on Friday, and I’m tryna get in as much practice as I can!
Have a good time!
There is no way that table is big enough for that family. Kids, you get to eat on the ground!!
While ever so slightly more elaborate, I believe the Rolls-Royce Boat Tail has a similar feature. So, still perfectly attainable if your name is Beyoncé and/or Jay-Z.
From the looks of it, that lady in pink in the background agrees with Torch. Too many kids, not enough tethers. She’s probably the mother-in-law. I wonder if she’ll be riding up top with the luggage later?
That kid looking out the back is either the ugliest kid alive, or a dog.
Or maybe the adopted child of Teen Wolf?
If you crank out 7 kids, you have to expect that at least 1 of them will be a dud.
I think that’s an Ugnaught. Maybe they hired it as a mechanic.