This is one of those things were it’s not really telling you something new; we all know air-cooled Porsche prices have been absolutely clamshit over the past few years. This is known. And yet, somehow, despite being so well aware of all of the madness, I can still feel shock when I see it happen, right here, in the same current reality that brought us Ye being super into a former German former landscape artist and later politician named Adolf Hitler and the majesty of Milf Manor. Reality is weird right now, for so so many reasons. And yet, when I see an incredibly rusty canoe-shaped object made of Porsche 911 parts and a lot of boxes of other, even more disassembled parts selling for $8,600 on Bring A Trailer, I can’t help but still feel surprised. Like deliberately stepping on a rake and being shocked when your face gets smacked by a cruel wooden handle.
Let’s just take a look at this 1969 Porsche 911T Targa Project, and keep in mind just how much work that word “project” is doing. Because it’s doing so much work I think it might unionize. Here’s a few quotes from the description:
The exterior left the factory finished in Tangerine (6809), and areas of fading, rust, and panel repairs can be seen along the body. The car retains its doors and quarter panel windows, and the front fenders, rear bumper, and engine hood are missing.
Multiple interior components are missing, including the floor panels. Rust-through is present throughout.
Rust and multiple areas of rust-through can be seen on the underside. The front trunk floor panel is missing.
The seller notes the alternator housing, distributor, flywheel, and front braking components are missing.
I also like that the title situation is noted as
The North Carolina title is noted as “Inoperable Vehicle.”
…yeah, no shit. At this point even calling this collection of metal a “vehicle” is being generous.
Now, that all said, it’s not like I don’t think someone couldn’t get this thing back together and on the road and absolutely lovely. It’s possible, but you’d effectively be rebuilding an entire car. If you could do it, sure, it’d be worth a lot, like this 1969 Porsche 911T Targa that sold for $93,000 on Bring a Trailer a few years back. Sure, that would be about a tenfold return on the money, which is great. But, in this case, I’m not even sure a return like that would let you break even, especially when considering all the time and work involved. It’s dizzying to even think about. It almost feels like you’re just buying a VIN and agreeing to haul out a lot of scrap metal for someone.
Of course, the many, many comments on the listing have been predictably entertaining. From the not-sure-if-they’re kidding:
…to the Nostradamus-like prognosticators:
…to the just funny:
Because of course people are going to be fascinated by this and want to say funny things and be a part of the madness because it’s absolutely intoxicating, the madness. It draws you in. Nothing about this basket case suggests to any rational human that yes, this is worth pouring in a colossal amount of time and money to essentially re-build, from perhaps worse than scratch, an entire 1969 Porsche 911T. But there is no rationality here. Any hint of rationality was driven away by that Porsche badge on the hood, or at least it would be if the badge existed on this car, which it does not seem to.
Yeah, just a rusty patch where it would be.
$8,600. That’s a lot of money. You’re paying almost nine grand as a down payment on so, so much more of your money going away. There’s so little of the car there, and what little there is seems to be eaten away by rust. Again, I can imagine this being a labor of love for someone, and the end result being incredible, and someone absolutely enjoying the process, but $8,600?
It’s also a good reminder that you don’t have to buy a Porsche 911 to enjoy some fun classic, sporty, rear-engined motoring. There’s so many other charming and interesting options out there, and while, sure, most don’t have the performance chops of a 911, who really gives a shit if they’re fun to drive? I mean, what is someone planning on doing with this thing when they finish it, winning races? Is that the goal? Because there’s so many better ways to get there.
I’m just saying that you don’t have to play into the madness. Just, for a moment, consider these other fun options before dropping nine grand on 1200 pounds of rust and despair.
Consider another fun rear-engined sporty car, like a Fiat 850 Sport!
Look at that thing! It’s charming as all hell! It’s fun to whip around, and you’ll have less of a risk of getting your license revoked! It’ll oversteer like a 911, and it’s more unusual and, you know what, more interesting! That very nice, near-perfect one sold for $21,000. Less than three times the price of the vaguely 911-shaped tetanus-delivery system up there, and you can jump right in and drive.
Not enough power? Your lust for speed is too demanding? Okay, fine. What about a Renault Alpine?
It’s always called France’s 911, right? It’s a genuine rear-engined sports car, and the V6 turbo ones are quick! It looks cool, it’s unexpected, it’s a real car in every way, and it’s made of metal and paint instead of the vague memories of metal and paint like that 911T. Barely over twice as much, for like 10x the amount of car you get. Why be miserable?
Okay, one more idea. Say you absolutely have to drive something Porsche had a hand in. Fine. Why not a Volkswagen Karmann-Ghia? It’s lovely, it’s German, it has an air-cooled opposed engine in its butt, and if you want to go fast, there’s a snacktillion different ways to get an old air-cooled VW to be quick, from building a big VW engine with a turbo to plopping in a Subaru or, hell, even a 911 flat-six back there. You could do so so much for less money than it would take to even get that 911T fully covered in body panels and not able to be stopped by a citizen of Bedrock. This Ghia needs a little bit of detail work but it’s only $7,500!
Damn, I’m looking at these Ghia pics. It’s pretty damn nice!
I’m all for project cars, and labors of love, but this, this is just ridiculous.
Here’s A Look At The Engineering Behind That Subaru WRX EJ25-Powered Porsche 911 GT3
Probably use the vin to build a race car.
$9k still gets you a passable 986 Boxster, right? Open top, flat six noises, Porsche badge, and most importantly, fully assembled.
Also, I love how Gentry Lane seems to have cornered the market on Alpine GTA’s – they’ve brought over the odd Renault Sport Spider as well, if you want something lacking an interior and possibly a windshield.
The 911T is not a valuable car by Porsche standards. Had it been a VIN # from a lightweight with significant competition success that the it might have been worth it; I have to wonder about the knowledge of the buyer!
In 1992 my father and I both had a regular drive that took us past a Ghia that looked exactly like this, for sale on the side of the road. Aside from its innate appeal, my mom’s second car was a Ghia; it was the car she had when she met my dad. So there was a LOT of emotional appeal to me, plus my best friend at college had a ’72 Super Beetle that he wrenched on, so I figured I could lean on him for help.
I spent weeks, maybe months, looking at it and trying to talk myself into asking him for a loan to buy it; I couldn’t decide if he’d laugh at me or say “of course.” Then one day, out of the blue, he mentioned the car and how delusional someone would have to be to buy it.
So that ended that. But I think about it all the time.
Friend of mine wanted to list a very clean Silverado on BaT, but they turned him down stating the miles were too high. For reference, this is the truck: https://carsandbids.com/auctions/3oYo165E/1998-chevrolet-k1500-4×4
It really baffles me that they gave him that BS response yet listed this Porsche made of hopes and dreams.
My god. It’s beautiful. Been having a chat with Victoria Scott over on Twitter about these GM400s. Fucking masterpiece of truck design and I want one.
I so need to live in America.
Tire sidewalls are too tall for you
I shall be blunt. The 911T was a total heap of rotting butterflies. I rebuilt that exact car while I was in flight school in the Navy. It was something to do while stuck in Corpus Christi, TX. The car essentially was rust, not steel. Everything about it, engineering wise, cleared up any doubts why Germany lost the war. Like two tiny, exteamly expensive batteries in the trunk. The crappy hydropneumatic suspension that gave it a mean lean parked. The insanely overly complicated engine that needed stratospheric priced parts that didn’t last more than a 1000 miles. Six carbs that required you carry a unisen in the glove box to keep them synced. Even with new seals, leaked so bad my new wife and I drove across the country with quart milk cartons shoved up against the A pillar to catch the water streaming in in the rain. While on our honeymoon, the clutch cable (new from Porsche) snapped. Forcing me to change it on the street in downtown Oakland. The hydraulic chain tensioners, latest overpriced design went flat at about 1200 miles. I could go on. Luckily front end parts where cheap, since all the wrecked Porsches went off the road ass end first from the lousy weight distribution.f I was happy to see the vanishing dot on the horizon of that represented that car. Send this POS to Putin in Russia, should make him slit his own throat in frustration.
Hi Torch! That Renault Alpine that’s “made of metal and paint instead of the vague memories of metal and paint like that 911T.”
The body of those is plastic.
This is David’s new car. I can smell it.
Yup. Barely been in California a month and he’s already shopping for Porsches . Rusty Porsches, true, but still sounds like he’s gone all Hollywood to me. Pretty soon he’s gonna buy a new shirt.
Damn it Torch, stop putting ideas into my head. As someone who likes to save lost cause vehicles but with no current major project your post has got me thinking. One of the few classic German cars I’ve ever really given any thought to owning is a Karmann-Ghia, but had thought they were more expensive than they apparently are. Now seeing a nice looking one for sub 10k numbers, I wonder what a project car could be had for….
Seems like a fun project. Sure, if you have a chassis lying around, and the skills and the time, just plop it on top and go antagonize the Porsche club members. Seems like something Roadkill would try now that I think about it.
I had a quick look, and the most sacrilegious car I could find with the same wheelbase is an 80’s Plymouth Reliant, sounds perfect to me!