Through some miracle or possibly trance I have convinced a great, normal, well-adjusted person to marry me. And with the wedding coming up relatively soon, I’m in need of a vehicle to transport my bride and myself from our church to our modestly-sized lunch reception just a few miles away. This is a problem because 1. Most of my cars don’t run. And 2. Many of those that do run are not quite nice enough to handle wedding duty. Oh boy.
It is very, very clear to me that a wedding-worthy car must be in a condition far, far beyond that of pretty much any car I’ve ever owned (sans my i3s), which is why I’m in a bit of a predicament here.
There is absolutely no chance I’m driving from the church to the reception in a boring car. That’s such a classic moment in one’s life — the vehicle has to be special. And as special as my Galvanic Gold 2021 BMW i3S is, I know that — as far as wedding photos go — it’s probably not the ideal candidate. My brother’s 1966 Ford Mustang looks great, but its engine caught fire recently, and also the suspension is completely shot:
My 1991 Jeep Wrangler YJ is close; it just smells a bit like gasoline, and I haven’t quite figured out what’s going on, there. The YJ is an option, though, especially since it looks this good in photos:
But, for irrational reasons, I’d really like my 1954 Willys CJ-3B to handle wedding duty. Not only does it look the part (or at least it will once I clean it), but there’s just something special about driving an old Willys Jeep. Also, my fiancee will at that point have never ridden in it, so this would be a fun first-ride.
Anyway, this is a problem because I’ve never actually even heard the old Willys run. I cranked the engine over, and things seemed OK, but will this thing actually move under its own power? I know one thing it won’t do, and that is stop. So I’ve purchased a new brake master cylinder. I’m certain I’ll be buying new wheel cylinders. Honestly, I should just buy those now.
I’ll be sleeping in my Pontiac Aztek starting this week, and part of that will involve me spending a few nights in the Galpin parking lot. This will allow me to focus on wrenching for a few days, as having my sleeping quarters 15 miles displaced from my car projects has proven to be a nightmare for progress. Now I’ll be sleeping within 15 feet.
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Step one will involve me installing a new fuel tank. I’ve already got the tank sitting in the Jeep; all I have to do is bolt it down. Next, I’m going to blow the crud out of the fuel lines with some brake cleaner, plus I’ll rebuild the Carter YF carburetor. With a bit of cleaning of the intake ducting, and some adjustment of the ignition points, I’m praying the old Jeep will fire up. I’ll slap some clean fluid into the transmission/transfer case/diffs, replace the brakes, and hopefully by the beginning of November I’ll have something drivable. From there it’s fine-tuning.
Will I be able to get that tan paint to shine? I’m curious about that. I wonder if a detailer could work some magic on it. But before I can even think about that, I have lots of work to do. I really hope the engine and transmission are in good shape, because, even if the Jeep looks cool there’s nothing cool about driving off from your wedding ceremony in a black smoke-belching, gear-grinding heap.
Seven weeks. That really doesn’t seem like a lot of time. At least I have the gold i3 and YJ as a backup; they both look nice in those photos. Maybe the Willys will look that nice with a bit of polish? I hope so.
Finally! Any significant event involving David Tracy should include a seemingly impossible last-minute vehicle repair and/or restoration. ^_^ (And it’s a good reminder to me that any time and money spent maintaining my own little fleet has always been worth it, so I don’t find myself in a similar spot.)
Seriously, I’m looking forward to seeing the Willys run.
Oh, and make sure whatever vehicle you’ve picked for the honeymoon is stored in a secure place, unless you want your friends to ‘decorate’ it for you.
The answer is staring DT in the face: Use the Aztek for the wedding and then honeymoon in it!
Can’t you borrow a cool ride from Galpin? If you were to have your wedding in France I’d loan you my Datsun as it just completed a 1000 miles road trip reliably.
Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure a buch of Autopians would loan you a cool ride!
7 weeks? How delayed was that Grenadier article? Or are ya’ll in a rush for reasons…
And just like that, we are all reminded that our beloved DT is still in there, unwashed from the cleansing lifestyle of California….
You have enough journalists with enough content.
Can you please use one of Beau’s lifts? For the love of all that is holy, your faithful readers do NOT need to see more pics of you with a headband light working in the dark.
You know what would float my jimmies? David working with a lift. Even if temporary, I would LOVE to see a post titled:
“Put ’53 Willys on lift, swapped tank in 11 minutes! Who knew?!?!?”
[Ed: Everyone knew, DT… Everyone –JT]
“So I decided that giving myself 7 weeks to get my ’53 Jeep Willys running (when I didn’t have the full diagnosis of everything that was wrong) may have been a bit much even in the light of my epic wrenchfests of the past. It turns out that I have been living in a tent just FIFTEEN feet from a state-of-the-art service department. If I stretch to the way-before times (anything before my life was changed by having Elise (not her real name) agree to marry me) when I was able to pile up projects all willy-nilly, I am reminded of a Service Manager telling me to do something like ‘Stop this crap and put it on a lift.’
So I did.
It turns out that this is AMAZING! Our partner Beau Beckman’s Ford Dealership has 24 lifts! Any of them were there for my choosing! Here is a short list of what this did for me:
….
It turns out that when you have people that love you, they will try to save you from yourself! When I let them, it is you, the dear reader, that suffers, as I have less antics about which to blog. Still, I have faith in the organization we are building and coming to realize that I don’t have to do it all myself. Eloise (not her real name) and I thank you for suggesting using this infernal device known as a ‘Service lift'”
–DT
Counterpoint. We’re all here for David’s masochistic wrenching content.
Counter-counterpoint: we’re all here to see DT get in way over his head, then get saved with help from his loving friends.
Hint, hint, David.
This was me the first time I worked on a car at someones house who had pneumatic tools.
5 months to plan a wedding, and you have enough spare time to burn the last two months fixing a jeep? I proposed a year ago and I’ve got another six months before the big day. That six months is packed.
I’ll be driving the Lotus I bought the week after the proposal, she’ll be turning up in a vintage double decker London bus. Opposites attract, right?
Good luck DT. Remember the only important thing about the wedding day is that you marry the right person, everything else is a detail.
Anything that goes wrong will eventually end up as a funny story, like that time I married a stripper. Funny now.
Don’t blast out the fuel lines. Either replace them with steel or just run some rubber line to get you by. You only need like 6′. I ran ‘temporary’ rubber lines on my ’53 CJ3B 20 years ago and they’re still doing their thing.
Totally agree. Just because it works for a short time, does not mean they will hold, and you do not want to be wrenching on your wedding day.
Wear a black suit just in case. Other colours are for people with reliable transport.
Some perspective: with the YJ, you’ve chosen the path of driving it smelling like gasoline over the path of having a reputable Jeep shop diagnose or even repair it, it seems. More money can be earned, but you don’t years of your life back. Downside of either not having time to drop at shop or not trusting shops or being too cheap to drop at a shop is that your YJ memories are tainted by gas smell.
I know you’re selling the YJ, but here’s what I would do: drop the YJ at a shop that you trust and have the fuel system sorted. Cost of doing business. That gives you 1) a wedding backup 2) an easier sale down the road
Then, work on the Willy’s knowing that you have a backup. If it becomes hopeless, throw in the towel.
Something that your spouse might appreciate is the ability to adjust your expectations to reality and find ways to succeed that don’t meet your original vision. I mean optimism and adaptability, not giving up. Stubbornness and cheapness have externalities – some flexibility can benefit those around you greatly.
Finally, keep in mind that what you drive to your own wedding is meaningless. What really matters is what you show up to your ex’s wedding in. For that, you need an Alfa Spider.
My wedding car: some Jag, don’t know.
My divorce car: the Kawasaki ZX7R I’d always dreamed of, with a single seat conversion.
My wedding car: 2000 C5 Corvette
My divorce car: 1996 Suzuki Bandit ($1200)
My wedding house: detached, three bed, three bathroom, garage and a nice tall brick wall around the back garden.
My divorce house: a room in my aunt’s house and all my stuff in a storage unit, apart from my dream bike.
I owned a 4br house, a Corvette, a Grand Cherokee, a monster truck, seven motorcycles, and a dune buggy. Now I share a rental with someone I don’t know and drive my ex’s old minivan. Beats marriage, though.
Wonder if we’re scaring DT?
Nah, no one gets scared off from their first marriage.
You know for certain it’s going to last forever, then spend your third wedding anniversary alone in the house you’ll have to sell so you can give half the money to a woman you now hate.
We got married and had the reception at the same location, so no car needed. Left the next morning for the honeymoon while everyone else was still asleep.
Alfa Spyder is the car for the guy who bangs the mother of the bride, changes his mind, crashes the wedding and steals the bride.