It’s Halloween, Here Are The Scariest Cars Out There

It’s the season of pumpkin spice (cinnamon) and ghosts (apparitions of the dead, like Adrian). Yes, Halloween is upon us, and that had us thinking—what are the scariest cars out there?

Now, I could trawl though horror movies for a bunch of “scary” cars driven by murderers and torturers from fiction, but that wouldn’t be very interesting. To me, specifically, because I’m not interested in horror movies. But it would also be boring for you, because movie cars aren’t actually scary.

Instead, I want to talk about cars that are actually scary, in very real terms. The ones that put you on edge. The ones that give you that sickening chill in your chest the very second you see them. These cars are not only terrifying, but they’re very, very real. Don’t worry, though, we’ll start out slow. The scariest ones are at the bottom.

The Unmarked Police Car

You’re feeling good. You’re out on the open road, there’s nobody around, and your favorite hype song just came on the radio. You flick a quick glance in the rear view—all clear. You drop the hammer and feel the thrill as the needle smacks the redline. This is what it’s all about, until…

…you round the kink in the road. There’s a black sedan parked awkwardly on the shoulder, and its facing in your direction. You’re already panicking, off the throttle and trying to slow down as inconspicuously as possible. The headlights flick on, it rolls forward, and as you pass…  it rips a turn and flicks on to the highway behind you. You know its over before the reds and blues hit your mirrors. You’re in the shit now.

Many drivers have been caught out by an unmarked car at a moment of indiscretion. In Australia, thousands fell victim to unassuming Holden Commodore sedans with an extra antenna or two on the back. In the US, a seemingly-civilian Crown Victoria might have snagged you in decades past; today, it’s more likely to be some kind of bulky black SUV. Meanwhile, a handful of states get around restrictions on unmarked police vehicles by instead creating so-called “ghost cars”—police cruisers with white-on-white or black-on-black decals that are difficult, but not impossible, to see.

Regular police cars are bad enough. The unmarked ones are so much scarier. You know if one of these is rolling up on you, you’re about to have a bad time.

A Busted-Ass Nissan Altima

Nissan built the Altima to meet a market need. People needed simple, humble transportation with five seats, a trunk, and performance on a par with a bowl of oatmeal. What they created by accident was of the fastest vehicles on the road. It’s all thanks to a certain type of driver that is drawn to these things like a moth to the flame that will eventually claim its life.

The reason the Altima is to be feared all comes down to finance. As covered by Hello Road, Nissan Altima drivers have some of the worst credit scores out there. Basically, this was the car to buy if you have poor impulse control, no money, and no understanding of consequences in even the simplest form.

That’s why these cars need to be treated with caution. A clean Altima with all its windows intact, parked outside a supermarket? Probably not a huge risk. A Nissan Altima doing 90 in the emergency lane with a headlight punched out and a cloud of dust, oil smoke, and debris billowing in its wake? That’s Satan’s chariot incarnate. If you value your life, get the hell out of harm’s way.

The Red Bull Racing RB20

Red Bull Racing spawned from the ashes of the hopeless Jaguar team, and became World Championship winners within a decade. They’ve since collected many titles more, and remained at the pointy end of the grid consistently over the years. In 2024, they hit the Formula 1 grid with their latest contender, the RB20. It might look like a regular race car, but in the wrong hands, it’s a fearsome thing.

Those hands would be those of Max Verstappen, Red Bull’s lead driver and current championship leader Verstappen has made endless headlines of late with his shove-em-off driving style and unrepentant attitude. On Sunday, he brought the same moves to bear against championship rival Lando Norris. barging the McLaren driver off the circuit as he attempted to hold on to second place early in the Mexican Grand Prix. It’s not the first time the two have come to grief, either. The Austin race was just as bad, and Norris even ended up with heavy damage after a similar incident back in Austria.

Amazing battle between Max Verstappen and Lando Norris on lap 10!#F1 #Formula1 #MexcioGPpic.twitter.com/27Jo2x7Czs

— Extreme Cars (@extremecars__) October 27, 2024

Thus far, Max and the RB20 have been unchained, free to wildly thrash across the circuit with little heed for the safety or racing lines of others. That could be changing, with Verstappen subject to multiple heavy penalties in Mexico. The question on everyone’s minds—will F1’s stewards tame this aggression, or will Verstappen be back to his worst in Brazil? For now, the RB20 remains a dreadful sight for those that must try to pass it.

That Car Parked Outside Your House

You’re a good citizen. You work a good job and you bought a good house. You’ve got your little bit of land in this world and you take pride in looking after it. Only, some jagaloon has broken the golden social contract of the suburbs. They’ve parked in front of your house.

That’s your bit of road. That’s for your cars and your friends. Who is this interloper? This blow-in from out of town? This deranged, probably violent freak who is probably casing your house and planning to rob you and your neighbors? It’s an outrage!

You’ve already left three notes at ever-increasing levels of passive aggression. You never see the car come,  you never see it go. You only see that it moves, now and then, parking in ever so slightly different parts of your territory. You know they mean to do you harm. You just don’t know when. You kiss your wife goodnight, but you don’t sleep. You peer through the curtains and see it parked there, taunting you. Tomorrow, you’ve decided, you’re going to buy a gun.

That Van Parked On The Grass

You’re out for a walk in your neighborhood, taking Rover for a stroll. It’s a crisp evening, and you shudder as the wind whips up, clutching your arms closer to your body for warmth. You’re coming up to that dodgy house that’s always got a bunch of cars parked on the grass. You catch a glimpse of something moving as you pass by. You hurry along, eyes dead ahead. Rover’s barking and tugging at his leash now, trying to pull you back. He saw what you saw. There’s a girl in the van. She’s banging on the glass. She looks scared. She wants out.

Without missing a step, you tug Rover along. It’s a bad neighborhood, you think to yourself, as you zip your jacket up further and brace against the cold. Best mind your own business.

BONUS SCARES From The Gang:

Adrian, Your Goth Uncle
The car you went and looked at, but didn’t buy, andis then parked outside your flat a few weeks later. That’s scary. That happened to me.

… Also the car that follows you for so long because they are upset with your driving so you have to pull up next to a police car. That also happened to me.

Mark, Shitbox Showdown Referee
Scariest car I’ve ever encountered was a 1980 Ford Mustang, two-tone blue and white, with a 200 ci inline-six and an automatic, owned and maniacally driven by my friend Jon back in college. Did you know a Mustang of that age could do 110? Yeah, the cop was surprised too. I think he let Jon off with a warning because he thought there was something wrong with his radar gun.

I made the mistake of driving it once. The brake pedal did nothing until the last 1/4 inch of travel, at which point it locked up the rear wheels. It had no heat. The steering wheel was pointed at about 10:00 when it was going straight, and yet it pulled to the left. And sometimes you had to two-foot it at stoplights to keep it from stalling, but other times the gas pedal would just stick at whatever position it was at.

It did nothing at all well, but kept doing it for two years, during which time I think the hood was opened twice, both times by me, to make sure the damn thing had oil in it. And yet, it just kept going, like Michael Myers. Nothing could kill that car.

Laurence (He’s Australian)
Scary out my way is seeing a BMW 5 series or X5 west of Dubbo. Guaranteed to be a cop, nobody out here owns them otherwise.

Image credits: Hello Road via YouTube screenshot, Sanch684 CC BY-SA 4.0, Liauzh CC BY-SA 4.0, Lewin Day