I’ve Slept Three Nights In The Pontiac Aztek Tent. Here’s What I Think About It So Far

My first night in the Pontiac Aztek was pretty rough. The wind was blowing the tent all over the place — it was loud, it was cold, and my back was the shape of a pretzel by the time I woke up.

I’m finally delivering my end of the “If 200 People Become Autopian Members In April I Will Purchase A Pontiac Aztek, Daily-Drive It For A Month, And Live In It” deal. As I wrote in my article “Our Pontiac Aztek Has Been A Great Daily Driver Except For One Major Issue: Unintended Acceleration,” Daily-driving the Aztek was really not a huge deal, partly because I don’t go to the office everyday, and partly because the Aztek is in great condition. Honestly, for us to have scored it for only $3604 is just the deal of the century.

The unintended acceleration thing, though, is becoming more and more of a problem.

 

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I still haven’t quite figured out what’s going on here, because sometimes the engine revs up, and sometimes it doesn’t. It seems random, and with it comes really rough shifting. I’m worried this transmission is going to grenade itself if I don’t find a fix soon, though as of this moment, the engine idles at a steady 800 RPM, the transmission shifts in a buttery fashion, and the car seems fine. As I said, it’s random.

Anyway, on Monday I began part two of our deal: Sleeping in the Aztent, and I have to admit, my first impressions weren’t great. The tent didn’t seem sturdy, and the vehicle’s rear cargo area fails the number one test for sleep-ability: it’s not even close to flat.

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Seriously, look at this floor — it’s not just the rear cargo area trim:

It’s not just the gap and the slippery, sloped tailgate:

But the floor itself is actually far from flat for some reason:

As you can see in the clip above, I didn’t use the old tent I’d purchased from Facebook Marketplace, but rather a brand spankin’ new tent that a generous reader had sold me in a piping hot deal. Just look at this minty-fresh unit:

I followed the never-before-read instructions, which really answered a lot of questions I had about which hooks go where.

The short of it is, the tent involves you hooking two straps to the garment hooks, and closing the rear doors on those straps.

There are two additional hooks near the tailgate; those get fastened down around the wheel well. Normally, you’re not supposed to hook the front one to the wheel, but I didn’t want to stretch this minty tent. It’s a historical artifact, valuable to possibly multiple people!

I had been a bit hasty on night one. I set up the tent and just crashed on a really thin mattress pad there in that work parking lot. You can see the setup above; obviously, it’s not doing much to “flatten” out that big hump in the cargo area (hence my back ending up as a pretzel). I also forgot to put on my wool socks, so I woke up freezing my arse off (top tip after far too many subzero camping trips: Even if you don’t normally sleep in socks, if you’re camping in cold temps, throw some thick socks on).

Anyway, I woke up looking rough:

I did a bit of blogging, then needed to use the bathroom, so I headed towards the office wearing my pajamas before realizing it was Tuesday, so there was a big department-wide meeting happening right on the other side of the door. Thank god I realized that, or that’d have been awkward.

Night two took place in my fiancee’s parents’ driveway. Temperatures didn’t seem as cold on Tuesdsay night, Elise (Not Her Real Name)’s mom had given me a nice warm blanket and a sweet lantern, and I awoke to some chirping birds, so the whole thing was actually quite pleasant:

Notice how I look at least 20 percent less miserable:

Here’s Elise (Not Her Real Name)’s dad, whom I’m excited to soon call my father in law, standing next to my Aztek:

Night two had actually changed my mind about the Aztek. The spine-in-the-shape-of-a-pretzel thing is still an issue, but that can be solved by the official Pontiac Aztek air mattress, which I’ll be deploying this evening.

As for the wind noise, I think that’s just a product of me not staking down the back of the tent, since I’m parking in driveways. There are loops on the tent, which came with strings and stakes, so if I were to actually park this thing on some dirt, much of the noise/instability would go away.

More importantly, setting this thing up is just so easy — even alone:

 

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What’s more, there’s just so much cool storage in the back:

Plus there’s a 12-volt outlet for you to charge your phone:

And the rear window sills are nice and flat, acting as great nightstands:

That first night in the work parking lot had me skeptical that maybe the Aztent was just a gimmick, but actually, I’m now 100 percent onboard. Look at how tight the tent fits:

With an air mattress, this actually has potential to be a legitimately good camping setup — offering elevation and setup-speed over a ground tent, and offering extra legroom/ventilation over just sleeping in a mid-size SUV.

Check out our Instagram to follow along. Tonight I plan to inflate the brand-new air mattress for the first time ever, and I’m planning on cooking a meal on a propane stove…somewhere. Probably along the coast somewhere.