Jason is in the hospital recovering from an Aortic Dissection, a condition in which “a tear occurs in the inner layer of the large blood vessel branching off the heart,” as St. Clair Hospital’s website puts it. It’s a serious thing, and we are so grateful Jason’s wife Sally told him to call an ambulance immediately when he told her about his chest pain. Jason was rushed to the hospital, which is just a stone’s throw away from his house, and is now healing. He’s still feeling some pain and dealing with all sorts of post-op discomfort, but not enough to keep him from THANKING YOU ALL for your support.
If you’ve been watching Jason at Jalopnik and now here on The Autopian, usually driving some crazy old car or telling you some wacky thing about a taillight, then the video below is probably going to make you feel a lot of emotions. It certainly had that effect on me, because Jason is the craziest, most amped-up, wackiest, most fun human being I’ve ever known, and to see that fun have to be throttled back because his body won’t cooperate…it’s a little tough to see. The world is a better place when Jason Torchinsky can truly be himself, which is to say UNHINGED; he’s healing, and will undoubtedly return to that nominal state, but there’s a bit of a battle ahead still. You can see in Jason’s video here that, though he’s still dealing with that battle, he’s doing well enough to thank you all for your support and to suddenly transform into his usual self when he’s being silly and talking about a scar:
Jason, who is a bit short of breath and down on energy (he has hiccups that are causing pain in his ribs, which had to be broken for the operation) starts the video with: “Hi everybody, I just wanna say thank you all so much for all the support and everything everybody’s done in reaching out. It means so much to me. This is not a great plan I had, but it is what it is. And I’ll be back as soon as I can, and just thank you!”
Then comes some sort of transformation in which he gains enough energy to re-enter full Torch mode for a few seconds: “Oh yeah and check out this badass scar, that’s pretty good. They cut open my STERNUM. Sounds crazy, but I just appreciate everybody’s support and reaching out, it means a lot to me, so thank you everybody.”
Since the video was shot, Jason’s wife Sally told me that Torch, unable to resist his calling in life, is considering blogging about the amber reflectors on his walker — reflectors that he finds funny, as they seem to imply some kind of highway capability:
Anyway, Jason wants to say thanks to all of you. Fellow industry colleagues, friends, readers, other publications (I’ll just note that Jalopnik’s tweet was classy). Thank you to Thad for starting the Torch Medical Fund on GoFundMe (Sally told me she’s had so many folks ask how they can help, she created this “Jason’s Coming Home From The Hospita” Amazon registry. If you want to help in any way, you’re welcome to contribute to either of those two, but there’s no obligation at all. Your kind words mean so much to Jason).
It’s a trying time for us here at The Autopian, and even more of a trying time for Jason and his family. But we also realize how much of a trying time this might be to many of you, dear readers. When you spend over a decade reading someone’s every word and following them on social media, it’s hard not to build a bond with them. I often think of writing as a porthole into one’s soul, and once you read enough of someone’s words, you really feel like you get them. Like you know them. Jason has touched the lives of hundreds of thousands of people with his work, and you should all know that as much as he means to you, you mean just as much to him. You’re the reason he has continued to do what he does for over a decade. So thank you! From the bottom of Jason’s humongous, patched-up heart whose sound confused the doctor when they first listened to it. “Uh, your heart…it sounds… is that the click of a turn signal’s thermal flasher relay?”
Jason: “Wait, they’re not all like that?”
Oof that looks pretty bad, glad he’s recovering and hope it’s speedy!
You must be tired AF Jason but that will improve. Please take all the time you need. We’ll be here for your return.
Take it easy and get well soon! Great that you’re doing well so far! Good luck to you (& your family!) While you’re at it, maybe ask the docs to check your bloodwork for lead levels in light of the Changli Chainsaw Massacre?
How does this fine website manage to upload cut onions to my computer?
Torch – best wishes for speedy recovery and all that. You must have been pretty bad off to not have had a single comment on the automotive aspects of the ambulance, and in particular the lighting scheme.
I feel the need to echo the sentiments of the esteemed and learned Jonathan Hendry, “Also, David Tracy, he isn’t rusty. That reddish brown stuff isn’t rust. Do not attempt to fix.”
So good to hear Torch has done well so far. There’s LOTS of healing to happen yet – so, heal first, then provide a detailed analysis of the handling characteristics of various hospital wheel chairs and walkers. But healing first!
Get better soon Jason.
A friend of mine’s daughter had the same thing happen to her in her 20’s. She is a “classically beautiful, attractive” lady. (trying not to get blacklisted here). She has a late intoxication party trick where she rips open her blouse to show off her scar. Then she says “hey guys, the scar is here, you’re not looking at it are you? Eyes in the middle”
I’m not so sure it will work for you, but I’m offering up the suggestion. On the other hand, the episode really did make her double down on making the most of her life. maybe that’s what you should think of while the rest of us zombies argue over bumper heights.
This condition also affects women . My 54 year old cousin ( female ) had the same thing happen to her . Apparently it is hereditary , so Torch, if you have siblings / cousins they may want to get checked out . Best wishes for a healthy recovery https://marfan.org/conditions/familial-aortic-aneurysm/#:~:text=About%2020%20percent%20of%20people,thoracic%20aortic%20aneurysm%20and%20dissection..
Saw DT’s Twitter post. Torch, that’s a badass scar! When you get sprung outta there you need to get a necklace that has the little handle part of a zipper (or a medallion that says “My eyes are up here” with an arrow) and start wearing V-Neck shits all the time 🙂 My trachea scar just looks like I drilled in the throat from an errant Tiger Woods tee shot, but you got the hit by a battle axe, so you win!
I had back surgery 16 years ago and 8 staples in my lower back. My lumbar laminectomy tramp stamp as it were LOL .
That’s a good one! I have 3 other “official” scars. There is the PEG (feeding tube) scar that looks like I had an arrow shot through my belly, the plain jane appendix scar, and the wrist surgery one that looks like I’m some sort of suicidal cutter. The rest are just growing up in the 80’s or college shenanigan maulings.
(Looks at left middle finger) I split my finger down the middle on a table saw and didn’t even get a cool scar…
Cool! mine’s on the back of my neck up to the base of my skull.
Jason: *chainsaws out Changli batteries*
Surgeon: did you ever wonder how the Changli felt? *revs bone saw*
Hahahahahahaha, COTD.
Always good to see a smiling thumbs up doc.! Thanks David for this update. May I suggest a Constant Torque T-Bolt Clamp for that image?
Totally! That lousy 50-cent hose clamp isn’t nearly good enough for someone of Jason’s caliber. He’s at least worth a $10 constant torque clamp.
Did they use a chainsaw to cut open Jason’s sternum? Seems like that’s the most Torch way to do it.
My dad had a massive heart attack in 1996 and, after surgery, while hopped up on painkillers, he got a bit paranoid and agitated and had to be restrained. As a result his sternum never healed, so for several years the seam would flex and the two sides could move independently. You’d feel one side higher than the other.
Eventually they opened him up, and found that the sternal wires used to tie it together had broken. They roughened up the fracture in the sternum and it finally knitted together again.
So don’t get uppity in the hospital, Jason.
Also, David Tracy, he isn’t rusty. That reddish brown stuff isn’t rust. Do not attempt to fix.
Whoa dude, that is a rare grey market European import walker! The US versions all have boring red reflectors. Even unconscious, Jason managed to be our guide to the weird and wacky.
It can’t be. It doesn’t look 25 years old.
NOS!
He may have overnighted it from Japan. Don’t tell the wee-woos, they’ll impound and send it to the crusher!
I believe the correct term is “holy grail”™
How did I miss that?
gr..<yes!that’s it!> ..ey
-_-
Jesus I’m so fucking glad he’s alive. My life isn’t exactly a bowl of cherries and Jason (and The Autopian) is one of the bright spots. I would have been in a bad way if this was a John Ritter outcome. We’re here when you’re ready Jason. Until then, fuck us, we’re not worthy.
Now, if no one has told JT or Sally, drink as much water are you can when you have the hiccups. It’s usually an acid stomach that causes them and water can help immensely. I used to suffer them frequently until I learned that fact. If you have a catheter you can make it a fun game to see how fast you can fill the bag.
Jason Torchinsky Medical Expense fund link. Show your love for JT with some cold hard virtual cash.
Sometimes a real good fart is helpful..
Just don’t force it Torch.
I will add this to the list of situations where a real good fart is helpful. There is a article in that topic.
Is competitive catheterization a thing? Seems like it should be a thing…
It should be! There may already a subreddit for it, but I’m too lazy to look.
You’re supposed to say “I am not a fish” out loud.
The tried and true method my old pappy taught me was to put a (clean) handkerchief over a tall glass of water, hold it tight like a drum, take a deep breath and drink the whole glass of water without stopping. Something about sucking it through the cloth magically fixes the hic-a-mups every time.
Oh man, that video got me right in the feels…
I was feeling sorry for myself because I was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer, but what you (and Sally and Otto) are going through is miles worse than what I’m dealing with, so you win!
I know I speak for the rest of us when I say that we’re willing to wait as long as it takes to read your wonderful writing again, so take as much time as you need to heal up. I’ll make a deal with you – get back to good health and I promise I’ll never criticize your grammar again! (Gahhhh – That’s gonna be super tough for me, but I’m a man of my word.)
<3 Dar Khorse, we’re here for you. If you want me to write a bunch fo Fiat 500e related blogs, I can make that happen!
I really appreciate that David (and everyone else who responded)! I’m lucky to have a supportive family and great insurance, so I’m thankful for all of that. And of all the cancers to have, this is definitely the best one to get and we caught it early (get your PSA checked regularly if you’re over 40, fellow dudes). Anyway, I didn’t mean to derail this thread.
Hang in there Jason! We need you!
Hang tough brother….sorry for this crap.
Have some of that going on in my family as of late, stay strong and do your body right. It’ll reciprocate as best it can
<3 It's not a struggle-off, but that's pretty rough, too. Get well soon, man.
Sorry to hear about it. Speaking from experience :(, cut it out. Best thing you can do. Frankly, I was pretty lucky in the ‘things still work’ department, but no matter what, it is not worth dying a horrible cancer death over. If you’re in doubt, cut it out.
Apologies for the unrequested advice, but I was personally thankful for the same unsolicited reassurances when I had to deal with it myself not many years ago. It made the decision that much easier. Beside, you shared first. 🙂
“If you’re in doubt, cut it out.”
That, good sir, is excellent advice that works on several levels and in various contexts :-). Thank you – the voice of experience is always good to hear.
We are all rooting for your quick recovery Jason. To quote the lyrics of a song by Australian Crawl “any day above ground is a good day”. You are a tough little bugger so I have every faith that you will be doing burnouts in the very near future. Peace and love to you brother.
Writing may provide a porthole into your soul, as DT suggests, but I’m sorry – and also glad – the docs had to enlarge that porthole to fix your innards.
Get well soon Torch, but take it easy for awhile. Maybe go at semaphore speed until your taillights are working at full brightness and your porthole is healed.
Take your time and do this job right, Torch. No chainsaws. Healing is nothing to be rushed. We’ll be here waiting patiently.
Speaking of which, is there any link between ground up lead ingestion and aorta failures?
Thanks so much DT!
Hang in there Torch. We need your brand of insanity on this crazy planet.
Glad you are a fighter guy.
Best to you and the family always amigo…
Get well Torch! Aortic dissection is a truly scary disease. I don’t know if anyone remembers Mike Fahey from Kotaku, but an aortic dissection paralyzed and ultimately killed him.
When Jason gets into Cardiac Rehab therapy, it would be a perfect time for him to get back into the swing of things by reviewing the various exercise equipment he is going to have to use. Rowers, treadmills, exercise bikes. Just leave the chain saw at home….. Considering the circumstances that put Jason into the hospital, just seeing him on that road to recovery is heartening…..(no pun intended)
Jason, my man, feel better. I wish I had a wisecracking joke here, but this is why you are the wordsmith and I am just a reader, so get well, and all my love to you and your family.
I’m so glad to see you in one piece, and the scar is badass indeed. Please don’t go on the highway with those neat reflectors.