A clever and funny friend of mine once told me that she calls groups of Honda Fits, seen in parking lots or roaming free in the wild, a conniption of Fits. This delighted me, so I’m going to repay her cleverness by stealing this idea and running with it for my own personal gain, in this very post right here. Why don’t we have clever names for groups of particular cars? Why do crows with their murders and lions with their prides and rhinos with their crashes get all the fun? They shouldn’t, those smug-ass animals. Time to give groups of cars a chance!
So, with that in mind, we’ve come up with a bunch of names for groups of kinds of cars. Some are specific models, some are entire brands, it just depends. And, we’ve tried to keep this upbeat and pro-car, because our publisher Matt yelled at me when I suggested a Douche of Teslas or an Insecurity of Lamborghinis. So, for the most part I’ll try to make these non-derogatory, but I’m kind of a jerk sometimes, so some might slide in.
Like this one:
But I mean, come on, we can’t be offending any Vega owners, right? They knew what they got into. Anyway, I’ll try to be nice.
All the Autopians contributed to this list, and in that spirit, I absolutely encourage everyone to add more in the comments! This is just a start, and there’s so many more car groups to name! Here we go:
A Conniption of Honda Fits
An Infestation of VW Beetles
A Smugness of Priuses
A Tragedy of Yugos
A Cult of Teslas
A Ring of Saturns
A Clutch of Mazda Miatas
A Dent of Camrys
A Compromise of Corollas
A Stereo Of Nissan Jukes
A Vegas of Dodge Neons
A Lecture of Saabs
A Crunch of Subarus
A Crew of Ford F-150s
A Battalion of Jeeps
A Den of Vipers
A Levee of Chevys
A Headache of Alfa Romeos
An Illusion of Mitsubishi Mirages
An Afterlife of Kia Souls
A Militia of Toyota Hiluxes
An Eternity of Toyotas
A Wank of Mazda RX7s (for Wankel, I promise)
A Keg of Mopars
A Disrespect of Chrysler PT Cruisers
A Hospice of Buicks
A Corruption of Ladas
A Squad of Ford Crown Vics
A Paddock of Porsche 911s
A Target of Toyota RAV4s
A Pub of Minis
A Manor of Bentleys
An Emancipation of Lincolns
A Mullet of Camaros
A Recession Of Nissan Versas
An Oddment of Citroëns
A Desperation of Daewoos
A Depreciation of Maseratis
An Impossibility of Cybertrucks
An Ordnung of Mercedes-Benzes
A Burnout of Ford Mustangs
A Regret of Fisker Karmas
A Surprise of Fiat 500 Abarths
A Fireball of Ford Pintos
A Humility of Renault 4s
A Masquerade of Mitsuokas
A Shock of Chevy Volts
A Kindergarten of BMWs
An Instagram of Chargers (Matt says “Because all of them have those fucking handles on their cars”)
A Garden of Lotuses
An Impound of Nissan Skylines
An Ouroboros of Infinitis
A Wrath of Plymouth Furys
A Lounge of Buick Rivieras
A Buffet of Chevy Cruzes (you know, like on a cruise? Patrick didn’t get this.)
A Confusion of Fiat Multiplas
A Hilarity of AMC Pacers
A Shitload of SUVs
(from our Australian):
A Mang of V6 Holden Commodores
A Crate of Australian AU Ford Falcons
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I think it’s traditionally been “a virtue of Priuses”.
These are fun– here’s a few more
A gasket of Subarus
a bank of Rivians
an MCA of Model Ys
a lock of Kias
a stampede of Kia SUVs
a whale of Dartzes
a doozy of Dusenbergs
an orthopedic ward of Traction Avants
a Duntov of Corvettes (a fleet is a bit more prosaic)
a Luftwaffe of Messerschmidts
a carton of Isettas
a PI lawyer of Peels
A pantheon of DS’s (Déesses)
A Couple of Cadillacs (Mitt Romney edition)
A Negotiation of Accords
A tittle of Tatas
An indifference of Corollas.
A scabbard of LeSabres.
A virtue of Civics.
A viggen of Saabs. (See the Saab fighter jet by the same name.)
A bandit of Trans Ams.
Viggen means “the thunderbolt”, which somehow doesn’t feel very Saab-y. In England they would call it a Cardigan of Saabs (based on the typical Saab owner’s favorite apparel).
A troll of Saabs? Flight of Saabs? A turbine of Saabs?
I was considering an elbow patch of Saabs, referring to professors, and that led me to my favorite:
“A tenure of Saabs”
I thought that was a reference to the Swedish band The Cardigans!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Band_on_the_Moon
The one for the Pacers should be “A Mirth of Pacers,” referencing the Mirthmobile from Wayne’s World.
a constellation of Crosstreks (or Subarus in general)
I’m having too much fun with this to stop now:
A posse of Jeep Renegades
A snobbery of Rolls Royces
An ornament of Alfa Romeos
A position of Lotus’s (Lotii?)
A blush of Nissan Rouges (sic)
A smirk of Bentleys
A madness of 6R4s
A squadron of Saabs
A club of VW Golfs?
What you did there, I see it.
A book of Saab (stories).
An HOA (or PTA) of Tellurides.
a Jury of BMWs
a Clan of Highlanders
a Bumper of Prius
a Clutch of Focus
a Sadness of Aspires
a Flotilla of Navigators
a PTO of Pacificas
a Tabloid of Celebrities
a Flatbed of CJs
a Payday Loan of Cavalliers
Good list, but there can only be one Highlander
Somehow I missed the “Humility of Renault 4s”, and holy shit did I laugh out loud just now.
Although to be fair, a Pride of Fours would be more accurate. You won’t find one Renault 4 owner who isn’t bursting with pride about it. We don’t envy each other’s Quatrelles, we love our own like no other. Get an owner of an impeccably restored one and someone who daily drives a rust bucket and try to figure out which one is which just from how they talk about how much they love their car. I promise you, it’s impossible. We love and compliment each other’s Renault 4s, but none is better than ours. Or worse, for that matter. Just a tiny bit less special.
Instead of a den of vipers, how about a Brood of Vipers
Or a sting of Vipers.
A Tinderbox of Pintos
A trail of Paseos.
A Jar of Jazz, for those who don’t have the Fit
A Tribe of Azteks
A Periodic Table of Elements
An Embassy of Diplomats
A Lode of Eldorados.
A Fortune of Fleetwoods.
A Cavalcade of Cadillacs.
A 3,536 of 4-4-2’s
A scabbard of Cutlasses
An immolation of Firebirds
A lilypad of Sprites
A loogie of Spitfires
A Homer of Odysseys
A resonance of Pontiac Vibes. Ask David, he’ll probably get it.
I propose an Ampere of Volts rather than a Shock of Volts.
A potential of Volts.
The electrical nerd is strong with this one.
You just made all the electrical engineers cry