Welcome back to Shitbox Showdown! Today, we’re sailing the high seas of Minneapolis/Saint Paul in a pair of gigantic ’70s sedans. But before we leave port in those, let’s settle up with yesterday’s New York convertibles:
Comfortable win for the basic Mustang from Brooklyn. I agree; I’m a VW/Audi fan from way back, but basically anything after the late ’80s scares me. And I’m one of those weirdos who actually kinda likes the New Edge Mustang.
In the late 1970s, downsizing was the word of the day. General Motors shrunk their full-size cars in 1977; Ford and Chrysler followed suit in 1979. It’s been years since most of the pre-downsizing cars disappeared from the roads, and it’s easy to forget just how big they were: the Cadillac featured here is four inches longer than a new Ram Quad Cab pickup, and the same width. It’s a big-ass car. And the Lincoln isn’t any smaller. The engines are equally huge – between them, these cars have almost a thousand cubic inches of displacement. Not much horsepower to speak of, though; it was the ’70s, after all. But either one will float serenely down the interstate at 70 MPH, sucking down regular unleaded like a fraternity bro at a Friday night kegger, making you forget there’s any pavement under you at all. If you’ve never experienced one of these monsters, it’s a treat, a ride unlike anything you can get in a car made in the last forty years or so. Let’s see which good ship you’d rather set sail in.
1975 Cadillac Fleetwood Sixty Special Brougham – $5,000
Engine/drivetrain: 500 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Saint Cloud, MN
Odometer reading: 67,000 miles
Runs/drives? You betcha!
A big long ostentatious car needs a big long ostentatious name. Cadillac’s model distinctions in the mid-1970s are a little hard to keep straight, but as far as I can tell, this car’s full name is the Fleetwood Sixty Special Brougham, and there may or may not be a d’Elegance tacked onto the end there. Whatever you want to call it, it’s two hundred and thirty-three point seven inches of the very finest Detroit had to offer during the Ford administration. This was no Sedan DeVille; the Sixty Special was a limited-production model, made only for big shots (and limo companies).
As befitting such an imposing car, it’s powered by the granddaddy of all Caddy engines, a 500 cubic inch beast that made – are you ready for this? – 190 net horsepower. Whatever; if you’re important enough, they’ll wait, right? This giant V8 runs great, according to the seller, and its big Rochester four-barrel carb has been converted to a manual choke, something I’ve done to a couple of Quadrajets myself in my day. It’s an extra step, but it makes cold starts so much more reliable. The seller says the car is completely roadworthy, and has taken a few out-of-state trips.
I think it might actually be against the law to paint a Cadillac of this style any color besides black. This one would have been originally fitted with a black vinyl roof too, but this one has had the vinyl removed and the roof coated in truck bedliner. It looks pretty close to vinyl, and it’s probably more rust-resistant. The missing rear wheel skirts are kind of a letdown, but the black steelies and beauty rings make up for it. The seller does include the original wheel covers if you’d prefer.
Inside, it’s basically a conversation pit with a steering column. The extra length of this car over the DeVille all goes into rear seat room; this was originally a car in which you were driven, not a car you drove. This might be the one car in which none of your friends would call shotgun.
1978 Lincoln Continental Town Car – $4,000
Engine/drivetrain: 460 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Champlin, MN
Odometer reading: 106,000 miles
Runs/drives? Yeppers!
Looking for something a little less sinister? A little more, I don’t know, yellow? Here you go. Lincoln’s Town Car was part of the Continental line until 1979, when the next-size-smaller model was introduced. Maybe they renamed it because it was only as big as a town, not an entire continent like this one. This car checks almost every box in Seventies Lincoln Bingo: oval-shaped opera windows, a big waterfall grille topped with a crosshair hood ornament, and of course, covered headlights.
Ford’s massive 460 cubic inch big-block V8 propels this big slab of Americana down the road though a simple, sturdy C6 automatic transmission. Like the Caddy, it’s woefully underpowered for its size and weight, but performance is hardly the point with cars like these. This one runs and drives well, but it has sat for several months, so it could probably use a little exercise and some fresh fuel. Lots and lots of fresh fuel – these things get about twelve miles to the gallon.
The seller includes only two photos of the exterior, and eight of the interior. To be fair, the interior is the star of the show here. It’s in gorgeous shape, and absolutely nobody today would paint a luxury car pale yellow, much less equip it with a russet-red interior. It looks comfy and inviting, and oh so very seventies.
This car does have a bit more rust showing than the Cadillac does, but neither one of these is ever going to be a show car anyway, so it’s best to just let it be. The seller included a few underside photos, and they don’t look too bad, especially for Minnesota.
Big soft cars like this are no more, and we won’t see the likes of them again. But then, an argument could be made that modern technology could make an amazing land yacht: Smooth electric power, electronic stability control to tame the wallow, and a little extra battery weight is no big deal if you’re already clocking in at two and a half tons. Opera windows optional, of course. In the meantime, we have these two gas-guzzlers. Which one would you dry-dock?
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
Some malaise era junk flicks a “do want” switch in my head, and other cars do not. In this case, the Caddy is weirdly appealing to my lizard brain for some unknown reason while the Lincoln simply does nothing for me. Usually I’m not into the menacing black look but on this car there’s just enough brightwork to make it interesting. Also, since I live in California the fact that I would have to smog the Lincoln and not the Caddy makes a significant difference. Trying to smog a pre-ODBII car is Cali is getting increasingly difficult – ask me how I know…
How a 500ci engine manages not to fill the engine bay in the Caddy is mind-boggling, as is the fact that it’s nearly a foot longer than my Suburban.
The more I look at the Caddy the more I feel like buying it and throwing another five or ten thousand at it in cosmetics would be worth it. But, I could also understand someone buying it and not touching a thing other than needed mechanicals.
Perhaps the plebeians voting for the Caddy did not notice the swanky Cartier clock in the dash of the Town Car.
Also, the Town Car has over 3 more cubic feet of trunk space than the Caddy (22.4 cu ft vs. 19.27 cu ft).
Fancier clock + more room for dead bodies = Town Car FTW.
Good luck with those doors, fenders and quarters.
Those rust holes keep the blood from pooling.
The Cadi is arguably the better car given the lack of rust, but my grandfather had a ’78 Continental Town Car Cartier, amongst a long line of Lincolns between the early ’50s and early 2010s. The ’78 was his favorite and I have fond memories of that car, so the Lincoln it is.
The red interior is appealing, but the rust on the Lincoln edges it out of the vote for me. The Cadillac checks most of the boxes for why I’d drive this.
It’s always fun to see cars show up on Shitbox Showdown that I’ve already been checking out. I’m definitely going with the Big Mac ‘Lac. They already started the hot rod treatment, so one might as well lean further in that direction. Add some white walls, paint an acre of flames down the sides, find a set of fender skirts, and maybe re-cover the top with something goofy – red or orange indoor-outdoor carpet might do the trick.
It’s too bad this wasn’t the even fancier, “Talisman” Fleetwood. Or better yet, a ’74 Talisman with the one-year-only rear-console, creating what had to be about the largest factory four-seater ever built.
Generally a Ford guy, especially when it comes to this vintage (black painted coffee cans as standard equipment under the hood…hell yes) – but I can’t possibly say no to a Fleetwood – especially when it’s already halfway to the Delta House Deathmobile conversion (yeah, I know that was a lincoln too, just work with me, OK?)
Nothing is quite as iconic as a black Cadillac. And at 1975, this was on the tail end of the “optimism era” of design. Very handsome, indeed.
I’ve always liked the style of the Fleetwood Sixty better than the DeVille, but I don’t like the modifications on this one – it’s missing some chrome bits (chrome is essential for a ’70s Cadillac) and the flat black doesn’t appeal to me (for the record, it is legal and they DO look great in other colors too – maybe a classic Cadillac firemist green, ooh…).
I like the color combo and interior on the Lincoln better, but this generation of Continental otherwise doesn’t arouse desire in me. I admit, I’m torn.
So I’m giving the trophy to the girl with the biggest engine.
Upvoted for the Monty Python “Summarize Proust in 15 seconds” reference.
Caddy wins. Even with some oddities, just looks better.
I wanted to vote for the (not so) Hot Rod Lincoln, but the Sliiiiick, Blaaaack Cadillac looks like the better deal here. Quiet Riot wins this edition of the Battle of the Bands.
In the immortal words of one Paul Wall, “I’m a boss Hogg on candy”. And one can not be a Boss Hogg in a Lincoln. May planes periodically land on my car, confusing it for the U.S.S Enterprise. Wood grain I’ll be grippin, catch me switching lanes, paint dripping. My new to me Caddie, tippin on four fours, while being wrapped in four voes.
Spoken like someone who’s never driven one of these with the 460. It’s OK, it’s common internet knowledge.
I bought my 1978 Town Coupe on a whim just outside of Las Vegas and drove it back to NJ taking old Route 66. There were more than a few deserted stretches of highway where the horizontal speedo needle was so deeply buried, it legitimately took a good 20 – 25 seconds for it register back at 85MPH again. My butt meter said we were probably doing 125MPH with little effort or strain from the motor. And there was more to give if I was brave enough (I wasn’t).
These are fantastic cars. They are quiet, supremely comfortable, have plenty of power and are dead nuts reliable. If something does need fixing, just about any local garage can work on it and source parts for the drivetrain. Even the AC still blows icicles in mine. About the only downside I can think is the 460 will consistently return 11 – 12MPG no matter how you drive it.
I’m a little biased, so my vote goes to the Lincoln. But I suspect either one of these would be cheap thrills and easy classics with live with.
I was thinking the same thing. People fixate on the low hp numbers, completely forgetting that TORQUE is what actually moves you. Both these monsters are easily producing over 400 ft lbs nearly right off idle.
Love me some undersquare engine goodness.
’72 Delta 88 with the 455 owner here, can confirm. Torque for days, engine is absolutely never stressed, mine was quiet before my younger self made some questionable choices that older me still hasn’t fully excised, and 10-11 MPG no matter whether you feather the throttle or flog it with abandon. Good times.
I’d lean Cadillac myself, but the Lincoln is a fine choice too.
As soon as I saw that the Cadillac’s rear-seat footrests were intact, it was a win for the Fleetwood. Now, to find someone to drive me around in it …
The Lincoln’s interior is nicer, but the rust is a deal-breaker. I’ve seen that “just before it goes to hell” rust before.
The Caddy is just too cool. Look at how long those rear doors are. And with those wheels, it looks like the Delta Tau Chi Deathmobile, which ironically was a Lincoln.
As a former Minnesotan, the Caddie. The rust under the Lincoln is going to be ever so much worse than the exterior indicates.
Tougher decision if the Lincoln was a 77 or earlier, but they cheapened the interior for 78.
Plus pre-1976 cars are automatically exempt from emissions testing where I live.
Caddy for me.
I had to vote for the giant Caddy. 500 cubic inch V8. I like them more than I should. If you want, there are lots of more-powerful crate engines to choose from 😉
Yeah the yellow-on-red is a cool color scheme, and you can probably swap in a Godzilla, but I just had to have the black Cadillac this time.
I expect eh Cadi to win this (it’s doing a better job of hiding its rust), but I’m voting for the pollen yellow Lincoln with the hidden headlights.
I’ll go for the Cadillac as it in better shape.
I’ve already owned that Lincoln’s sibling and it died of rust.
Speaking of rust: I wish I’d heard of this sooner: https://www.onlineprairieauction.com/Browse/C918813/Classic-Vintage-Car-Sale
That caddy is a fine looking car. Despite my grandfathers love of town cars I’m voting for it.
Welcome to Minnesota, the land of rust and snow. That’s on the good days of our 6 months of winter when everything ain’t coated in ice…
So no surprise the Lincoln is bubbling rust and the Caddy’s photos have the rocker panels in the shadows… I warned you.
I mean, no?
I had to get out my screen extension so that I could see the entire length of the 1975 Cadillac Fleetwood Sixty Special Brougham. (I always thought that should be pronounced Bro Ham).
That’s “1975 Cadillac Fleetwood Sixty Special Brougham d’Elegance” to you, sir.
I actually like the Town Car, but that’s a lot of rust visible. The Caddy shows none! Even underneath!
Gimme that Caddy all day long! Loooooong.
Gonna need a new garage for it, tho.
Caddy – More displacement and less rust, easily worth the extra thousand in price, not to mention the yellow on the Lincoln is just hideous