Welcome back! This week, we’re trying to find actual decent used cars for once. But “decent” doesn’t need to mean boring, or slow, or uncomfortable. For those of you who need eight cylinders to really feel like a car is worth it, today is your day.
I wouldn’t call either of yesterday’s choices boring, slow, or uncomfortable, but I knew going in that they were mismatched, and the votes reflected that. The Mazda took home an easy win. You know how they say in real estate, the three most important things are “Location, location, location”? Well, when it comes to cheap cars, it’s “Condition, condition, condition.” The stick-on plastic crap and purple window tint on the Camry turned a lot of you off.
In that Camry’s defense, I will say that I’ve had a lot of cheap cars over the years, and I’ve peeled my share of shitty plastic doodads off of cars, and some of those cars ended up being really decent after I cleaned them up and gave them back their dignity. But given the choice, I’d rather not have to. Make mine the Mazda as well.
“I don’t know what the world may need,” quoth the poet David Lowery, “but a V8 engine’s a good start for me.” Whether you give credit to Cadillac, or Ford, or Oldsmobile for starting the whole thing, there is no doubt that V8s have achieved near-mythical status among gearheads as the engine configuration to have. Sure, you’ve got your VW Bugs and your Honda Civics, but they don’t make that sound. That low, menacing pulse, the sound you first heard when the muffler on your uncle’s Ambassador rusted out, the same sound that black Camaro in your neighborhood made. It’s the sound we all aspired to make, pushing our Hot Wheels along the floor and making “brrm-brrm” noises.
V8s have been on the way out for years, in passenger cars at least, but for a while there about twenty years ago, they had a little bit of a renaissance. Cars so equipped are now getting cheap, and I’ve found a couple of them just a little ways north of me, in Philadelphia. Let’s check them out.
2001 Lincoln LS V8 – $3,800
Engine/drivetrain: 3.9-liter dual overhead cam V8, five-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Odometer reading: 114,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Ford went on a shopping spree around the turn of the century, buying up luxury car nameplates left and right, and lumping them together under the Premier Auto Group banner. One of these marques was Jaguar, which had bounced around from owner to owner several times by then, and wasn’t done yet – Ford sold off Jaguar and Land Rover as a package deal in 2008. But before it did, Jaguar shared its S-Type platform with a couple of Fords, including the retro Thunderbird, and this car: the Lincoln LS.
The LS was available in V6 and V8 flavors. The V6 was available with a manual gearbox, but if you wanted the V8, you had to settle for an automatic. It’s a Jaguar engine, with four cams and 32 valves sending 252 horsepower to the rear wheels, nothing to sneeze at back in 2001. This car doesn’t have a shining reputation for reliability, though it got better as time went on. This one has had a lot of recent work done, and the seller is currently driving it daily until it sells. That speaks highly of its current condition; any future issues are your own problem.
The Jaguar influence is strong inside too; this car is a whole lot more driver-focused than your grandpa’s Town Car was. It’s got all the luxury toys you’d expect, and it sounds like it all works. The seller says the stereo has been “upgraded,” which hopefully doesn’t just mean a trunk full of subwoofers. Unless, of course, you’re into that, in which case that’s fine – just don’t drive up and down my street.
It’s clean and shiny outside, though a little stark with all the plain white paint. The wheels are not supposed to be black, but I can’t tell if those are the factory wheels painted, or aftermarket wheels. Either way, I’m not a fan. But if you are, more power to you.
2007 Dodge Magnum R/T – $4,000
Engine/drivetrain: 5.7-liter overhead valve V8, five-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Swarthmore, PA
Odometer reading: 215,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Here is another American car with some European luxury car DNA. Chrysler’s LX platform was developed during the ill-fated “merger of equals” that was DaimlerChrysler. The LX combined Mercedes chassis architecture with Chrysler’s then-new Hemi V8 to create something special, and in doing so, made us forget the bad old K-car days.
The Dodge Magnum wrapped that refined chassis and brawny drivetrain in a muscular station wagon body, just this side of caricature. This car looks like a cartoon of a classic American station wagon. You could get the Magnum with two V6s if for some reason you preferred them, but I’m not sure why you would; the Hemi is a hell of an engine. This car has 215,000 miles on it, but the engine was replaced at 154,000, possibly due to the camshaft/lifter failures that plagued some early Hemis. It runs and drives well, but the seller says it needs some “work” before going through inspection. Ominous, and worth asking questions about.
Most enthusiasts are pretty happy with the stuff in front of the firewall in these cars; what’s behind it, not so much. Lots of owners complained about the quality of the plastics in the interior, but I’ve never thought it was all that bad. Maybe I’m just desensitized to cheap plastic after years of owning American cars. At any rate, it’s holding up well, though it could use a cleaning.
It looks pretty good on the outside too, though I think the rear bumper was replaced at some point. It’s a slightly different color than the rest of the car. Also, since this is a Pennsylvania car with over 200,000 miles, it’s worth a look underneath to make sure it’s not rusty.
Okay, so neither of these is going to be as long-term reliable as some other vehicles. But those other vehicles don’t have V8s, and they probably aren’t rear-wheel-drive. And it’s not like these are going to fall apart on the way home; they should both still have some life in them. So go on, live a little. Make some V8 noises, do a burnout or two. Which way are you going to go?
(Image credits: sellers)
I’ve seen enough of how trash that LS was from the 2-month ownership a buddy of mine dealt with to know that you can trust the Magnum every day of the week, and twice on Tuesdays.
Dude owned it for 60 days and it spend 40 in the shop. Most of the time it was related to that Jaguar V8, though the nail in the coffin was the automatic.
I will take the “driven daily until it sells” over a PA “It needs some work to pass inspection” every day of the week and twice on Sunday.
Not that I particularly want either of them, but here we are, voting on hypotheticals…
I like the PAG cars and am sort of even a little familiar with that era of Jaguar stuff on a mechanical level, but the Hemi is much more my style, and the Magnum has always been on my bucket list of cars. I test drove an SRT-8 when it was about 5 years old, and I’m happy to say I wasn’t disappointed. It helps to sway me that there’s an 06 300C in our combined fleet too.
I voted Magnum, partly due to sentimentality from my old ’06 Magnum, partly because I think a 200k+ mile Mercedes/Dodge will have less issues than a 100k+ mile Jaguar/Ford.
That ride height and wheel set makes me think that Magnum may be one of the R/T AWD ones, which makes it a little more desirable as well, especially in the snowy east coast.
As others have mentioned though, rust conditions will impact if either is a good choice.
Once, I used to drink Champagne by the magnum, buy Magnum condoms, and owned a .44 Magnum revolver. I watched “Magnum P.I.,” and enjoyed Eastwood in “Magnum Force.” And for years, I’ve been working on a my magnum opus. I’ll take the Lincoln.
I assume your real name is Magnus von Magnusson?
“I like the idea of a Jaguar-based Lincoln – gimme the LS”
But I don’t. I hate it, even though I voted for it. Maybe these should be more like “I voted for the Lincoln, because even though it’s like cutting off my own foot, voting for a rusty Magnum that needs work would be like sawing off the entire leg”.
I already have a reliable and pleasant daily. What I don’t have is a raucous wagon that can do my weekend hauling while screaming “‘Mericaaaaaa!!!” every time I stomp on the go pedal. Magnum it is.
Believe it or not, today I got my 300C.
OK, it’s almost out of context (not Dodge, not a V8 etc) but where else can I share this good news ?
It’s basically a less-useful version of today’s Magnum. I’ll allow it.
I’ve wanted an LS for a long time, you get Jag Swag for pennies on the dollar. Plus I have to believe that Ford put just enough of their own stuff in it to spare it from the usual English-car BS.
The Magnum is cool but… really, really ugly. Like Bouvier Twins ugly.
Salt Life must be referring to the northern PA roads in the winter. Picked the LS but I’m really just waiting for straight 6 day.
I have a friend that put a Salt Life sticker on his rusty Subaru. Ironically, of course. Made sure to put it right next to the biggest rust hole so that it was best interpreted that way.
Salt Life is a clothing brand, and I’ve always felt to was odd that people started putting those stickers on their cars. No one drives around giving free advertising to Abercrombie & Fitch or Levis.
Remember when monster energy drinks “claw” symbol was popular? People even got tattoos of it. I never understood that one either.
At least you can scrape the stickers off.
(I guess you can scrape a tattoo off too, but ouch.)
Ha! I didn’t even know it’s a clothing brand. My Mom lives in Cape Cod and when I saw my first Salt Life sticker I thought it was some kind of local movement. Hey, I like life on the salt water too.
I live on the Gulf of Mexico.
Every idiot who goes to the Gulf to hang out, or fish seems to have one of these Salt Life decals on their rides.
Just seems imbecilic to me. But YMMV
Oh, but they used. Boy did they used to…
https://www.levistrauss.com/2024/11/05/here-comes-the-denim-machine/
I stand corrected. I would never want to get between that man and his favorite jeans. Both literally and figuratively.
I wouldn’t touch that oddball V8 in the Lincoln with a 10ft pole. However, my local junkyard is FULL of parts donors for the V8 wagon.
Plus, IT’S A WAGON. Magnum P.I. today.
I’ve owned too many Dodge/Chrysler products from that era to trust that mileage, so Lincoln it is. I’d still rather have a Town Car than an LS, but oh well.
That Lincoln is… not a handsome vehicle. But I like the interior, it’s certainly cleaner & in better condition, and as big a wagon fan as I am, I could never get with the cartoonish proportions of the Magnum. I don’t even want to think about rear visibility.
So Forduar it is.
Those are the factory 17″ wheels on the Lincoln. I ran them on my minivan back in the day since I found a set cheap for my summer tires and put the winters on the factory wheels.
Gotta go longroof—pending pre purchase underside inspection, of course.
I don’t know what I did wrong to be forced to choose between a Jaguar-era Ford and a 215k mile Chrysler product.
Mark is going to go full passive-aggressive and not tell you what you did wrong, because you should already know. The longer it takes you to figure it out the worse it will get.
I guess I did throw that guy down the stairs at the taillight bar last night. But in fairness he kept trying to talk to me about how great the rear side marker lights on the 3rd gen Celica or something were, despite knowing full well that the car was designed to have the little vent there and the sidemarkers were an afterthought, as they usually are, because they’re horrible and nobody likes them.
You did the right thing.
It’s the only natural evolution after signing up for this oddball site in the first place.
I really want the Magnum, but it’s got to be crusty underneath it. I’m taking the *blank canvas* Lincoln instead.
Give me the Magnum. I genuinely like them and I’ve seen more than a few LSes turn into electrical nightmares. It may have a Lincoln badge on the hood but it just can’t shake its Jag roots.
Only on this site would engines introduced in 1996 and 2003 be called “modern”.
Well, considerng their predecessors dated back to the 1960s…
Yeah came here to comment “Editor’s note: Not sure if proper use of ‘Modern’”
The Lincoln LS is a Jaguar without the prestige or the hood ornament, but all of the problems 🙁
Therefore, I voted for the Magnum. Being a wagon and a cooler color also helps.
But Magnum is a Mercedes without the prestige or the luxury but all the problems of a 200000 mile Mercedes and 200000 Dodge.
At least it’s a wagon tho
Picked Lincoln specifically because it did NOT have a “Salt Life” sticker on it.
I think it was on the old site that I read someone saying they thought it said ‘slut life’, and that’s all I can see now.
you’re welcome
Same
I’ve said that a few times because it took months of seeing those stickers before I realized they did not say Slut Life. I thought it was an odd thing to put on your car, but I believe in sex positivity so you do you.
I came here to say this.
I REALLY wanted to vote Magnum, but man, that one looks kinda beat. Plus “needs work”?
Gimme the LS. They’ve already done the “needs work”.
My thoughts exactly.
Where do you live where that Magnum looks “kinda beat”?! I wanna live there! That Magnum would look like a virtually new car in my neck of the woods!
I’ve been a fan of the Magnum since they came out, that gets my vote.
Cars from PA … one with a “Salt Life” sticker on it… says it all. Put them both on lifts and pick the one that isn’t completely rotted out. Going just by the condition of the part of the vehicle I can see, I’ll take the Lincoln. Seems it was better taken care of.
SALT life…my brain did not see that this early pre-coffee lol
Today’s choice is so hard. These are both of my favorite underappreciated cars. Needs a both vote. Voted Magnum (assuming rust no issue) for newer engine and you never see them around here. Occasionally you will see an LS running around. That said, I want both.