Welcome back! This week, we’re trying to find actual decent used cars for once. But “decent” doesn’t need to mean boring, or slow, or uncomfortable. For those of you who need eight cylinders to really feel like a car is worth it, today is your day.
I wouldn’t call either of yesterday’s choices boring, slow, or uncomfortable, but I knew going in that they were mismatched, and the votes reflected that. The Mazda took home an easy win. You know how they say in real estate, the three most important things are “Location, location, location”? Well, when it comes to cheap cars, it’s “Condition, condition, condition.” The stick-on plastic crap and purple window tint on the Camry turned a lot of you off.
In that Camry’s defense, I will say that I’ve had a lot of cheap cars over the years, and I’ve peeled my share of shitty plastic doodads off of cars, and some of those cars ended up being really decent after I cleaned them up and gave them back their dignity. But given the choice, I’d rather not have to. Make mine the Mazda as well.
“I don’t know what the world may need,” quoth the poet David Lowery, “but a V8 engine’s a good start for me.” Whether you give credit to Cadillac, or Ford, or Oldsmobile for starting the whole thing, there is no doubt that V8s have achieved near-mythical status among gearheads as the engine configuration to have. Sure, you’ve got your VW Bugs and your Honda Civics, but they don’t make that sound. That low, menacing pulse, the sound you first heard when the muffler on your uncle’s Ambassador rusted out, the same sound that black Camaro in your neighborhood made. It’s the sound we all aspired to make, pushing our Hot Wheels along the floor and making “brrm-brrm” noises.
V8s have been on the way out for years, in passenger cars at least, but for a while there about twenty years ago, they had a little bit of a renaissance. Cars so equipped are now getting cheap, and I’ve found a couple of them just a little ways north of me, in Philadelphia. Let’s check them out.
2001 Lincoln LS V8 – $3,800
Engine/drivetrain: 3.9-liter dual overhead cam V8, five-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Odometer reading: 114,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Ford went on a shopping spree around the turn of the century, buying up luxury car nameplates left and right, and lumping them together under the Premier Auto Group banner. One of these marques was Jaguar, which had bounced around from owner to owner several times by then, and wasn’t done yet – Ford sold off Jaguar and Land Rover as a package deal in 2008. But before it did, Jaguar shared its S-Type platform with a couple of Fords, including the retro Thunderbird, and this car: the Lincoln LS.
The LS was available in V6 and V8 flavors. The V6 was available with a manual gearbox, but if you wanted the V8, you had to settle for an automatic. It’s a Jaguar engine, with four cams and 32 valves sending 252 horsepower to the rear wheels, nothing to sneeze at back in 2001. This car doesn’t have a shining reputation for reliability, though it got better as time went on. This one has had a lot of recent work done, and the seller is currently driving it daily until it sells. That speaks highly of its current condition; any future issues are your own problem.
The Jaguar influence is strong inside too; this car is a whole lot more driver-focused than your grandpa’s Town Car was. It’s got all the luxury toys you’d expect, and it sounds like it all works. The seller says the stereo has been “upgraded,” which hopefully doesn’t just mean a trunk full of subwoofers. Unless, of course, you’re into that, in which case that’s fine – just don’t drive up and down my street.
It’s clean and shiny outside, though a little stark with all the plain white paint. The wheels are not supposed to be black, but I can’t tell if those are the factory wheels painted, or aftermarket wheels. Either way, I’m not a fan. But if you are, more power to you.
2007 Dodge Magnum R/T – $4,000
Engine/drivetrain: 5.7-liter overhead valve V8, five-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Swarthmore, PA
Odometer reading: 215,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives well
Here is another American car with some European luxury car DNA. Chrysler’s LX platform was developed during the ill-fated “merger of equals” that was DaimlerChrysler. The LX combined Mercedes chassis architecture with Chrysler’s then-new Hemi V8 to create something special, and in doing so, made us forget the bad old K-car days.
The Dodge Magnum wrapped that refined chassis and brawny drivetrain in a muscular station wagon body, just this side of caricature. This car looks like a cartoon of a classic American station wagon. You could get the Magnum with two V6s if for some reason you preferred them, but I’m not sure why you would; the Hemi is a hell of an engine. This car has 215,000 miles on it, but the engine was replaced at 154,000, possibly due to the camshaft/lifter failures that plagued some early Hemis. It runs and drives well, but the seller says it needs some “work” before going through inspection. Ominous, and worth asking questions about.
Most enthusiasts are pretty happy with the stuff in front of the firewall in these cars; what’s behind it, not so much. Lots of owners complained about the quality of the plastics in the interior, but I’ve never thought it was all that bad. Maybe I’m just desensitized to cheap plastic after years of owning American cars. At any rate, it’s holding up well, though it could use a cleaning.
It looks pretty good on the outside too, though I think the rear bumper was replaced at some point. It’s a slightly different color than the rest of the car. Also, since this is a Pennsylvania car with over 200,000 miles, it’s worth a look underneath to make sure it’s not rusty.
Okay, so neither of these is going to be as long-term reliable as some other vehicles. But those other vehicles don’t have V8s, and they probably aren’t rear-wheel-drive. And it’s not like these are going to fall apart on the way home; they should both still have some life in them. So go on, live a little. Make some V8 noises, do a burnout or two. Which way are you going to go?
(Image credits: sellers)
“…Jaguar shared its S-Type platform with a couple of Fords, including the retro Thunderbird, and this car: the Lincoln LS.”
Which was then altered with a non-independent rear suspension for the Mustang.
I drummer friend of mine once rented a Magnum to get to gig and could barely fit his kit inside. It may look like a practical wagon on the outside, but the interior doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for cargo. That said, I’ll take the long roof over the sedan. Magnum it is.
Jeez. The Jaguar engine may not need any work now, but it will in the near future. Compare to the Chrysler which “needs some work” now. Both interiors look good, so both owners appear to have cared at least a little for their cars. Ultimately, I always liked the look of the Magnum and I can’t say that about the LS, so Chrysler it is. (Ugh – I hate writing that.)
I’d rather have the Magnum but not at twice the miles
I’d rather have a HEMI than an AJ V8 and a 722.6 rathern than a 5R55S transmission.
Wagon body in non-grayscale paint is icing on cake.
This was a little difficult…was gonna go LS but went Magnum because HEMI + wagon