Home » Pagodas Are Lovely, So What’s This Dude’s Problem?: Cold Start

Pagodas Are Lovely, So What’s This Dude’s Problem?: Cold Start

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I was thinking, as one does, about how achingly lovely the old Mercedes-Benz W113 “Pagodas” were, and thought that I’d like to have one for today’s Cold Start. So I started looking through brochure for these, and that’s where I saw the image above. The car looks lovely, sure, but what the hell is going on there? The driver of that car looks like he’s making some sort of scene, where he just stopped his 280 SL in what appears to be a sidewalk, and got out to scream at everyone about who the hell knows what. Whatever it is, it can’t be good. Look at that dude’s face! He’s pissed about something. People are either stopped to stare at him or are just trying to ignore him as they walk by. This is the picture they picked for the cover of their brochure?

He looks loud, too.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

Cs Pagoda2

It’s a shame, because the Pagodas were just strikingly and simply lovely, in an undeniable way. They have a simplicity about them and a set of proportions that just makes me stop what I’m doing and, I don’t know, want to just drink it it, slowly and carefully. The thin pillars, the ratio of wheel size to body, the subtle creases, that tiny front overhang, it’s all just so damn good. Plus, body-colored wheel covers just get me.

Cs Pagoda Lights

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I’d think maybe the angry guy was ranting about how the W113 got one of the most severe downgrades when it came to American-spec lights, but that can’t be it, because his car has the fantastic Euro-market single-unit headlights, those amazing crystalline bubbles that incorporated headlamp, sidelamp, and indicator in that one, elegant unit. In America we just got a sealed beam over a big indicator, with the gaps filled in with clear plastic. It wasn’t bad, until you saw what it replaced. Then it was terrible.

Relax, dude, you have the good lights! Jeez.

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Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago

Everything about that guy screams bad landlord.

Mr Sarcastic
Mr Sarcastic
1 year ago

Actually i see a guy with a problem during a classic race. People are period dressed in some cases but that one guy has modern equipment. The pavement is not a 40 foot wide sidewalk but a repurposed pit road.

Goblin
Goblin
1 year ago
Reply to  Mr Sarcastic

If you open the image full size in a separate tab you’ll see that the equipment that one guy carries is anything but modern. He has a period-correct leather bag, period correct clothing and the equipment can’t be otherwise easilly identified.

The setting is clearly vintage industrial setting, possibly a test track or something similar. Everybody present is a man, and most are dressed in typical period correct blue collar clothing – the guy with the hat, the guy next to him as well as the guy with the cap all wear a tyical engineer/mechanic style coat, probably with a shirt and tie underneath.

And at least three of the four pairs of legs showing in the upper left of the image are covered with a similar type of work coat.

This is most likely a factory/testing area.

The proportion of the amount of time the author of this story seems to have spent looking at this photo vs the amount of time spent pulling a story out of thin nothing is alarmingly disproportionned 🙂

Last edited 1 year ago by Goblin
Goblin
Goblin
1 year ago
Reply to  Goblin

Case in point, a wider framed example of the same, with the other four blue-collar guys at the top:

https://review.wolfarchitects.design/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/brochure-graphic.jpg

Crank Shaft
Crank Shaft
1 year ago

That there is Enzo Ferrari telling everyone to fuck off that he wanted a reliable daily driver.

Va Fungal!

Goblin
Goblin
1 year ago

Isn’t this Alfred Neubauer, isn’t this some sort of race/test/speed track (this type of concrete is definitely not a sidewalk), and isn’t this guy on the right tipping his hat to The Boss ?

Bob Boxbody
Bob Boxbody
1 year ago

When I was a teenager, my dad bought a 1969 280SL, and told me that if I got a 4.0 GPA that semester, he’d give me the car. Then he sold it before the semester ended. I never even got to drive it. What a beautiful car though…

BigThingsComin
BigThingsComin
1 year ago
Reply to  Bob Boxbody

Sad

DysLexus
DysLexus
1 year ago

“OK now I’m pissed.
Who pushed my car all the way up onto this damn sidewalk and left a steaming bag of dog shit on my seat.”

DysLexus
DysLexus
1 year ago

“A little help here!!!
Anyone see a set of keys? They were hooked to a cute tiny fuzzy beer stein keychain…anyone?”

D0nut
D0nut
1 year ago

Someone drove off with his Grey Poupon

Rad Barchetta
Rad Barchetta
1 year ago

Hey! I’m drivin’ here! <spoken in thick New Yawk accent>

Chronometric
Chronometric
1 year ago
Reply to  Rad Barchetta

If you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the f-in sidewalk!

Not Sure
Not Sure
1 year ago

He forgot his chauffeur sign with the persons name he’s picking up on it.
Now all he can do is stand there and shout it out.

Last edited 1 year ago by Not Sure
Otter
Otter
1 year ago

It’s Bernie Sanders, once again asking you to save the remaining 1% of pagoda Mercedes.

Torque
Torque
1 year ago
Reply to  Otter

Bernie is politely asking…
HAS ANYONE SEEN MY MITTENS!?! IT IS COLD OUT & I AM COLD

ProfPlum
ProfPlum
1 year ago

IMHO the best looking M-B ever made. The proportions and the look of lightness are wonderful.

10001010
10001010
1 year ago

He won’t you know. He does not stand for baloney!

Ottomottopean
Ottomottopean
1 year ago
Reply to  10001010

Do you realize it’s snowing in my bedroom?

Am I doing this right?

10001010
10001010
1 year ago
Reply to  Ottomottopean

Chet!

Torque
Torque
1 year ago
Reply to  10001010

… this is God Chet 🙂

10001010
10001010
1 year ago
Reply to  Torque

I reminded of the immortal words of Socrates who said, “I drank what?”

Dsa Lkjh
Dsa Lkjh
1 year ago

“Hey you! Yeah, you holding all that crap and not wearing a hat for some godamn reason, you’re in the way dammit! There’s a guy behind you trying to paint this for the brochure, and the last thing we need is your hatless ass blocking the whole side of the car!”

Thx1138
Thx1138
1 year ago

Still one of the most beautiful Mercedes around, I got to drive the dealership’s owners car when it had to go the body shop (that was about 15 miles away) with the top down on a sunny day. While that car would be beaten by everything today (and most cars in the 1980’s) it was such a fun car to drive. I tried to talk the owner into selling it to me and he said that was a hard no, but he would keep an eye open for one for me. Well, my early 20’s self said it was going to happen, but it never did.

Jack Beckman
Jack Beckman
1 year ago

Looks like the guy in the foreground has some sort of camera. The driver is pissed because the guy is filming him without permission, and no doubt has already stolen the driver’s soul. (Fortunately for the driver, he gan get another Soul in today’s Shitbox Showdown!)

CSRoad
CSRoad
1 year ago

I think somebody sat on my hardtop and bent it down, you bet I’m angry.

Viking Longcar
Viking Longcar
1 year ago

It’s a little-known fact, but Mikhail Gorbachev’s inspiration for Perestroika and Glasnost came from the shock of driving a W113 for the first time.

Rusty S Trusty
Rusty S Trusty
1 year ago

If you zoom in enough you might notice that the guy getting out of the car is Enzo Ferrari. He’s pissed because he really likes it.

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
1 year ago

I’m not 100% sure, but I think that’s Lawrence Tierney in his later years. If so, that’s his standard drunken rage. For him, it’s just Tuesday.

Flyingstitch
Flyingstitch
1 year ago

The guy in the hat, right next to the car, just traveled from the future and thought he would catch the whole scene on his phone. But he’s just realizing the phone didn’t make the trip, leaving his hand grasping an invisible device, his thumb waving over a nonexistent screen. Awkward.

Cheap Bastard
Cheap Bastard
1 year ago

I’ve always preferred the styling of its predecessor the W121 190 SL myself.

Last edited 1 year ago by Cheap Bastard
Double Wide Harvey Park
Double Wide Harvey Park
1 year ago
Reply to  Cheap Bastard

The SL is probably the longest running name plate that’s been consistently incredible (except the Sacco years but fuck that dude, the SL is back to its deserved glory).

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
1 year ago

He’s mad because he’s out of gas and no one will help him push. Should have joined the auto club Fritz.

NewBalanceExtraWide
NewBalanceExtraWide
1 year ago

I believe he is having a crisis after seeing the fellow with the Man Purse and shouting angst at the world for gender roles that make this a bold move. He always wanted a bag, a place to stow his sunglasses, keys, etc, but is resigned to pockets instead. It’s okay, angry man, get a shoulder bag. Be the change you want to see in the world.

Icouldntfindaclevername
Icouldntfindaclevername
1 year ago

Everyone’s telling him he can’t park there. He’s privileged SOB and tells everyone he can park where ever he wants.

Either that, or the car just died and he’s pushing it and no one offers to help

BubbaMT
BubbaMT
1 year ago

Yeah, it looks like he’s parked at a bus stop.

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