Welcome back to Shitbox Showdown, where we contemplate vehicles that might result in serious financial harm. By the time you read this, the world outside my window will, at the very least, start to be blanketed in several inches of fluffy white bullshit. Not exactly ideal, but I’ll still take it over living in Vancouver. Anyway, it’s time to gear up for snow and not say ‘shenanigans’ as we go window shopping for questionable used cars in America’s snowiest state – Vermont. But first, let’s take a look at how our dueling fun economy cars got on.
Ah, that’s not gone well for the Volkswagen. I’ll admit, I could totally see myself in the Cabrio, top-down, bouncing along my merry little way. However, old Toyotas rarely seem to die from anything that isn’t related to rust or suddenly arriving at a standstill, so the Paseo is likely the better daily driver. Anyway, enough with the reasonable cars, let’s get a bit more daring.
2009 Saab 9-3 2.0T XWD – $2,500
Engine/drivetrain: Two-liter turbocharged four-cylinder engine, six-speed automatic gearbox, all-wheel-drive.
Location: Winooski, Vermont
Odometer reading: 106,284 miles
Runs/drives? Indeed it does.
Vampire Weekend torched a couple of Saabs in the visualizer video for Diane Young, and you might want to do the same to this one if you have to figure out how to source certain replacement parts for this very rare late-model wonder. Still, it might be worth persevering because this is one cool Scandinavian sled. Welcome to the Saab 9-3 2.0T XWD, a quirky Swedish sports sedan with a very unique way of sending power to its rear wheels.
Due to friendly relations, Saab got first dibs on Haldex’s Generation IV all-wheel-drive system. However, unlike most Haldex systems, Saab’s XWD could theoretically send 100 percent of the engine’s torque to the rear wheels. It’s a nifty feather in this 9-3’s cap, although this version of XWD doesn’t take the crown due to not having the awesome electronically-controlled rear limited-slip differential found in V6 cars. As for other oily bits, a two-liter turbocharged version of the GM Ecotec four-cylinder engine known as the B207 sends 210 horsepower and 219 lb.-ft. of torque through a six-speed automatic gearbox. Not the most gripping powertrain in the world, but certainly far from the most boring one either.
On the outside, the facelifted second-generation 9-3 is as cool and refined as a zinc bar top. Well, it normally does, this one’s looking like it’s been picking its own scabs. The quarter panels are what Jif would call extra crunchy and the front subframe isn’t entirely there anymore. Make no mistake, this thing will need a lot of work to make whole again, as is often the case for cars from New England. However, used front subframes don’t appear to be hideously expensive, so it likely won’t take a ton of money to get this thing on the road again if you’re handy with a wrench.
Moving to the inside, there are a few tears in the driver’s seat, but otherwise it’s all business. You can flip most of the instrument lights off with a button marked ‘NIGHTPANEL’ and pretend you’re soaring through the clouds, looking for a place to land. Plus, this generation of 9-3 has one of the most incredible cupholders known to humankind, a dramatic butterfly knife of a beverage receptacle that’s slightly rubbish at holding smaller drinks but brilliant theater. Exceedingly odd, but righteously Saab in a lovable way.
2002 BMW 525iT – $1,950
Engine/drivetrain: 2.5-liter six-cylinder engine, five-speed automatic gearbox, rear-wheel-drive.
Location: Woodstock, Vermont
Odometer reading: 195,952 miles
Runs/drives? Absolutely.
Given the state of that Saab, a suitable challenger needs to strike proper fear into the hearts of car enthusiasts. How about an old BMW featuring significant use of the handyman’s secret weapon? The venerable E39 Touring is a car found in our staff fleet, although I presume Mercedes’ example is in slightly better shape than this one. Still, if you want a big, comfortable, reasonably fun wagon, an E39 Touring is hard to beat.
This particular example is a 525iT, which means that it packs BMW’s M54B25 2.5-liter inline-six. It’s not exactly the most powerful engine in the E39 stable, but this 192-horsepower, 181 lb.-ft. aluminum brick of creamy smoothness will certainly get you where you need to go. This one’s got a check engine light attached to it, but that’s almost the nature of old European cars. Power goes through a five-speed automatic gearbox to the rear wheels only, so winter powerslides are virtually assured. This 525iT even comes with a Bentley manual, which means that someone absolutely adored it.
Unfortunately, that person didn’t quite adore it enough to tackle the typical tailgate rot in a proper manner. Instead of fixing things the right way, someone’s plastered duct tape all across the are underneath the rear window. Lord knows how much of a water trap that’s been. Still, the silver paint shines like a torch and the basketweave alloy wheels are still absolutely lovely. Oh, and this particular wagon is a very rare slicktop, which means that sunroof leaks simply can’t exist.
On the inside, there’s the delightful surprise of beige leather upholstery that makes the cabin feel a damn sight airier than corporate black. While no view of the driver’s outer bolster is included in the ad, the leather we can see looks nearly showroom fresh. It’s the hide of a beast, keep it maintained and it’ll last. In the dashboard sits BMW’s Business cassette player, a head unit with an amusingly dry name. Imagine someone telling you that they listen to business, it’d make your eyeballs roll back so far into your head that your optic nerves would detach.
So there we are, two extremely New England cars for your consideration. One’s very rare but looks like it’s contracted a flesh-eating disease, the other is extremely practical but also a BMW with nearly 200,000 miles on the clock. As ever, choose wisely.
(Photo credits: Craigslist sellers)
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The rust on the Saab is concerning… but not as concerning as a BMW with nearly 200,000 miles on it.
So the Saab gets my vote.
Neither. I would walk everywhere first.
I’m a former BMW tech and despise BMW. Saab is a dead car company, and that means issues finding parts. Neither of these can have my vote.
Not showing pictures of the engine bay is equivalent to publishing a scientific paper and referring to a Methods section from a previous paper that doesn’t exist! It’s incomplete and immediately loses credibility!
The heart wants the Saab, but the brain says the BMW problems are more easily solved or tolerated.
Saab for no logical reason whatsoever. I know these things are becoming more and more of a nightmare to keep running but my dad had an all black manual 9-3 hatchback when I was a kiddo and I thought it was the coolest thing in the world.
Holy cow… like others, I cannot believe you’re making me vote BMW, but that Saab is junkyard material. If the subframe is that rotted, everything else under there is as well. Not worth fixing.
If the underside of the BMW is okay, then a replacement hatch is an easy fix…. though, given that fact… it makes you wonder why they haven’t replaced the hatch. Might be more demons underneath than they’re letting on.
That said, if I *had* to pick on…. with the limited info I have to go on, I’ll pick the one that can actually drive.
BMW. Can probably find a replacement hatch in better shape and I’d be fine with it being a different colour. Parts in general should be easier to find.
Plus with a tape deck I could play the random tape I bought outside a Cannibal Corpse concert a month ago.
Since it’s my wife’s birthday today and she loves Saabs, I have to vote for the 9-3. Sorry manual wagon. Any other day, you would have gotten my vote.
This is tough. I really like Saabs. I had a fake one for years (9-2X aka a “Saaburu.”). I just traded it (plus some cash) to my BIL for a Chevy Volt… since it needed transmission work and new head gaskets that I didn’t have time to deal with. I loved that car. If it had been the Aero with a stick… I would have found the time to do the work. And… I always wanted a 9-3.
But… the BMW is a wagon! My love of wagons wins. The 9-2X was a wagon, after all.
Now if the Saab was a wagon… I might have to buy them both.
Even without the rust, those wheels would have me questioning the quality of the Saab’s current owner and the amount of deferred maintenance I’d be inheriting.
I love the 9-3, but no. The rust is bad and the Haldex XWD system on these cars is not tolerant of missed maintenance. This car is an enormous risk.
I think the best answer here is no.
Given that I already own a 9-3 with the manual gearbox (and I love the car!), I’ll take the BMW in this case. Front subframes for the AWD cars are NLA new, and there weren’t that many to begin with, so have fun finding one from a junkyard. This 9-3 is a parts car, at best, and a good $1500-2k overpriced. The BMW? At least one can go in with expectations sorta’ real. It’ll be rusty, it’ll need a cooling system, and when it works, it’ll almost be fun to drive.
BMW, Red Green would be proud
If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
Keep your stick on the ice.
Extra crunchy subframes and fenders tell me everything I need to know about the Saab. Sorry little orphan, but I ain’t gonna be your new daddy. I’ll take the big wagon with a silky I6 and the expected check engine light. Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!
I can’t believe you made me vote for a BMW VS a Saab.
I hope you’re proud of yourself p)
I saw BMW VS Saab and almost went straight to the vote, thankfully I checked the listings!
Just remember “silence is golden, but duct tape is silver”
Just sayin
You can get duct tape in damn near any color you please now. Even plaid!
https://www.duckbrand.com/products/duck-tape/prints/buffalo-plaid-188-in-x-10-yd
I still went for the Saab. I like the pain. Hurt me more sweedish daddy, I don’t need to feed my child, of course you need all my money.
“I shall greet Rust as an old friend, and go with him gladly, and as equals depart this life.”
– DT (probably)
Bonus points if you know where I am paraphrasing from.
I knew but didn’t know. I cheated and looked it up.
My wife is way way into the fandom.
$2K for a running BMW wagon. I’ll take it just to see how long it’ll last without putting any money into it
I really, really wanted to vote for the SAAB, but I’m better at mechanical work than body repair. We know which of those each example will require.
BMW. Rust underneath the car is awful to deal with. A rear hatch is an easier DIY than slinging a subframe.
If the front crossmember is rotted away, the provisions to mount it to the chassis will also be trash.
If I owned a body shop, I would buy this car if I wanted an employee to quit.
Also ^^THIS^^
I lived in Vermont for several years, after moving from upstate NY. While you may be able to acquire a used front subframe, I wish you luck getting the old one out. There is also the issue of all the other rusted in place fasteners under that thing. I would far rather sort out a CEL on a BMW 6 (I owned an E46) than work with trying to fix a rusted chassis.
^^THIS^^
You just need the correct level of membership and David, who we know is not afraid of rust, will help you.
The airfare from LA to Edmonton would outweigh the free labour
David’s a nice guy, I’m sure he’ll find his way there on his own.
I was within an inch of buying a 2008 Saab 9-3 Sportcombi Aero right before the Pandemic but ultimately decided it wasn’t worth banishment to the sofa by the wife.
I’ll take the BMW wagon since I have plenty of black electrical tape to cover the “check engine” light. It should go nicely with the duct tape.
Mannnn this is the toughest one yet. I really want the Saab to win, but the E39 is one of my favorites, so it gets my vote.
Body rot versus suspension rot?
Gimme the Beemer.
Wa GON! wa GON! wa GON!
WAGOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN!!!!
Gimme. Got a buddy with a 5.3L all ready to fix that “not exactly the most powerful engine in the E39 stable” problem
I was ready to vote Saab until I saw the rust, so BMW it is.