The Van That Censors Itself: COTD

The name of a car is probably not something you think a lot about, but it can be a pretty big deal. Remember the BMW Individual M760Li xDrive Model V12 Excellence THE NEXT 100 YEARS? Yeah, I’m not sure anyone recalls anything about the car itself but that hilariously long name. Smart also put itself in a silly spot by naming its cars “Hashtag” followed by a number. If the Smart #3 were sold in America, the poop jokes would never end. This is just a long way to say that the Sonova van from Japanese custom shop Cal’s Motor is just one bad day from hilarity.

To be fair to Cal’s Motor, we don’t know how this van is supposed to be pronounced. It could be something like “sun-nova.” Unfortunately, our readers have good funny bones. How will a Sonova owner react if they discover a dead battery? COTD winner StillNotATony has an idea:

When the Sonova doesn’t start, do you pound the steering wheel and shout its name, self censoring so the kids don’t hear you curse?

Rad Barchetta was clever to connect this to the Cold Start Cinematic Universe:

It’s the perfect work vehicle for Mother Farms.

And StillNotATony’s response was perfect:

I hear it’s a sonova to parallel park that van.

Ford’s been working on a lot of patents lately. The automaker has been working on some sort of technology that would allow a self-driving vehicle to repossess itself from someone and possibly even take itself to a junkyard. This technology had me imagining a country song where a truck leaves a man, perhaps running over his dog on its way out, too. Thankfully, Ford has, for now, given up on developing the tech, but it has patented an air-conditioner vent that targets your face like some kind of assassin.

Arch Duke Maxyenko has his head in the right place. Forget cooling your face, how about the nether regions?

No, aim it straight at my balls. Bring back the ball vents!

Honestly, I just want my whole body cooled when I’m driving. Give me all of the cooling vents plus ventilated seats and I’d be in road trip heaven. On that note, here’s what that lower vent looks like in a 29-year-old Chevy Blazer. Look under the steering wheel:

Neat! Have a great evening, everyone.