Happy Friday, Autopians! To round out our week of record albums paired with cars from the same year, I’m giving you a two-fer: Joe Jackson’s first two albums, Look Sharp! and I’m The Man, both released in 1979. And we’ve got two unusual and cool ’79 model-year cars to check out, as well.
But first, let’s go back to 1988 – I mean, yesterday – to see how our two automatic coupes did. You all surprised me; I did not expect that Reatta to win. Maybe it’s because you know there are more exciting and fun Z cars out there, whereas the Reatta kind of just is what it is.
I’m glad you generally agreed with me that the hood scoop on the Reatta has got to go, as well. It seems there are some appearance mods you can live with, and others you just can’t. I once sold a Coupe DeVille that I really liked, simply because I just couldn’t stop hating its fake convertible top. I thought I’d get used to it, but I never did. And when I found out how much work was involved in removing it, I gave up.
I was six years old in 1979, and even I could tell that the world outside The Muppet Show and my Matchbox car collection was kind of a mess. Gas was expensive, the President was mopey, and I wasn’t allowed to be in the room while my parents watched the news, because they were always swearing at something. All I knew for sure was that disco sucked and so did my mom’s car. (I have since come around to some disco, but the Dodge Aspen still sucks.)
What I didn’t know was that pop music was rewiring itself from the inside out, changing in ways that would become very important to me in just a few years. People were recording albums that I would grow to love when I got older, fusing punk, reggae, and rock into something called “new wave.” I probably heard some Joe Jackson songs back then, on WLS or WLUP, but it wasn’t until I started delving into the musical past in college that I acquired my love for Look Sharp! and I’m The Man. (Anthrax may have helped a little, too.) From the raw power chords at the beginning of “One More Time” through the frenetic climax of “Friday,” I still can listen to them both just about any time.
Finding cars from 1979 was a bit harder. As you are likely aware, it wasn’t exactly a high-water mark for the auto industry. Eventually, after some digging, I did find two cool old classics, coincidentally for the same price, that I think you’ll appreciate. Here they are.
1979 Ford Ranchero GT – $7,500
Engine/drivetrain: 351 cubic inch overhead valve V8, three-speed automatic, RWD
Location: Peoria, AZ
Odometer reading: 105,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives, but has been sitting
In 1979, long before the “Information Age,” I’m willing to bet that not a lot of Americans knew that car-based pickup trucks had a name in Australia, or that they were wildly popular there. No one here would have seen a Ranchero and called it a “ute.” 1979 was the end of the road for the Ranchero, after 22 years. This final version was based on the LTD II, and features the same stacked dual rectangular headlights, pointy front fenders, and massive front and rear overhangs.
Under the shockingly long hood of this Ranchero is Ford’s “351M” V8 engine, driving the rear wheels through a three-speed automatic. This big cast-iron brute puts out a whopping – wait for it – 151 net horsepower and 270 pound-feet of torque, to what is probably a fairly tall rear axle ratio. Spirited driving is likely out of the question, but that’s the case with nearly all American cars of the era.
This Ranchero has only recently been awakened from a twenty-year slumber, and from what the seller says, it isn’t quite awake yet. It runs and drives, but has a little misfire they haven’t tracked down yet. The fuel filter, plugs, and plug wires are new, so it could be crud in the tank, or in the carb. Luckily, cars this age are simple, so it shouldn’t be too hard to track down the issue. It’s in good cosmetic shape inside, but the carpets are sun-bleached and for some reason the center trim/horn button/cruise control buttons are zip-tied on. However, the seller says everything on the dashboard works.
It has been repainted, years ago, and shows evidence of some possible bodywork at the right rear, where it looks like there is a chip in some filler. Bring a magnet along to see how much filler there really is. But it was a California car, and the photos in the ad show a nice clean underside that would make Midwesterners weep.
1979 Alfa Romeo Alfetta GTV – $7,500
Engine/drivetrain: 2.0-liter dual overhead cam inline 4, five-speed manual, RWD
Location: Glendale, CA
Odometer reading: 97,000 miles
Operational status: Runs and drives great
Alfa Romeo, now part of the massive Stellantis empire (or, as I have heard them jokingly called, “Italian Leyland”), has a rocky history in the US. And, if I’m honest, pretty much everywhere else, too. Alfas are often beautiful cars, universally praised for their handling and road manners, with sonorous engines that make you want to stay in a lower gear just a little bit longer to hear them wind out. They are also finicky, rust-prone, and unnecessarily complicated. And while a few select models can be considered collector’s items, a whole lot of 1970s and 80s Alfas are just extra-high-maintenance used cars.
This car, a 1979 Alfetta GTV, is such a car. It’s not the earlier and better-looking Giulia Sprint GTV, nor the later and faster GTV6; it’s the one no one remembers. It’s got all the good stuff, though: a fuel-injected twin-cam engine, a rear-mounted five-speed transaxle, four-wheel disc brakes, and a racy DeDion rear suspension. The fuel injection system on these cars can be fussy, but the seller says this one runs great, and is “such a pleasure to drive.”
These cars have a really weird dashboard configuration: the tachometer is front-and-center in its own little binnacle, with a wider binnacle in the middle of the dash for the speedometer, warning lights, and other gauges. All the better to wind out that sweet twin-cam engine, while your passengers panic over the speeds you’re hitting. Actually, come to think of it, this is a 1979 model, which means the speedometer only goes to 85. What a dumb law that was.
This Alfetta looks mighty clean and straight, and it looks good in black. I like the Panasport wheels on it, too. The seller says a lot of things have been replaced, and they have service records to prove it. The only thing that doesn’t work is the driver’s side power window.
So there you have it: two great albums and two cool cars from what was at best a difficult year in American history. Give Joe Jackson a listen while you look over the cars; there’s a little something in there for everyone. I can’t believe I got away with a whole week of talking about music almost as much as cars, but I hope you all enjoyed it. Maybe we’ll do it again sometime. Have a great weekend!
(Image credits: Craigslist sellers)
Just here to pick the Alfa without even reading anything about eithers condition.
I kinda want the ranchero. Luckily for me, it is close but out of my budget. It is so terrible it is awesome. Look at those overhangs!
Great now I have “I’m the man” stuck in my head
You think you’re immune, but I can sell you anything…
Maybe I’m feeling frisky today, or maybe that Ranchero is just that hideous, so I’ll take the Alfa
I am not sure I would drop 7,500 on either of these, but at least I would enjoy looking at the Alfa once it dies again and is cost prohibitive to repair.
That front 3/4 view of the Ranchero makes it look like the hood is as long as the bed.
It probably is! The box length is less than 75 inches
OMG I just googled a side profile. It’s extremely ridiculous.
Thanks, Mark, for all the music! I’m slowly digesting it, it’s been a rich lesson.
As for the cars, the Alfa, of course. A driver’s car in a great shape that will grow in value.
The other is an incredibly inefficient and boring piece of Malaise.
Have to choose the Alfa. At least it’ll be nice to look at in the garage while it’s not running! Love the addition of tying music to car years this week. Thanks!
Gotta be the Alfa. In the words of Marcus King: “come fuck my life up again”
Gimme the Alfa. I had an ’84 Spider Veloce in Rosso Red with the twin cam. That car was fun as hell. Loved to wind and never left me stranded. It did have an issue with the passenger side window that I never did fix. It didn’t bother me too much as the top was always down and I had the driver’s window up above 40 mph anyway. Still, I’d fix it first and I know the mechanic to help me sort it out.
I like a good ute. But I like a better looking one without still having to fix it after I’ve spent 7.5k already. I also hope he replaced all the rubber on it as well. At the end, you’d still have a late 70’s Ford Ranchero. No dice.
My vote goes to the Alfetta… even though something seems off with the suspension. It seems to me the front is too high. It’s like the current owner had to replace the front springs and got the wrong ones.
This is how it should look:
https://live.staticflickr.com/4006/4682996178_d735c6ee50_b.jpg
EDIT: I just read that these have torsion bars up front. And THAT means it’s merely a case of adjusting the front torsion bars which is explained here
https://www.alfabb.com/threads/torsion-bar-adjustment.687766/
Another hard choice. The Ford is going to take some work to get back on the road, but parts for that Windsor are going to be easy to find and other than the faded carpet (Ford cheaped out on red dye – the rear seats and filler panel on my cousin’s Aero Bird were white not too long after they got it), the interior looks nice. But the Alfa’s body does too, despite the rear quarter’s slightly odd proportions (something about which the Ranchero can cast no stones), and it would be a blast to drive, whereas the Ford would be strictly for cruising.
The whole “disco sucks” movement was really just another cultural symptom of white backlash that brought us Reagan and Top 40 hair metal, this time against the music of urban minorities and gays – like what you like or don’t, but there’s no need for public record-burning. Sadly, I didn’t realize that at the time, but my musical tastes were just forming and I did sign up for the New Wave versus the aforementioned hair metal, which didn’t go over that well in my military-town junior high school. (Thank you, WXYC, for occasionally piercing the static enough to bring me “Rock Over London” at home, if not in the car.) So, to backlash against the backlash and to embrace that ’70s malaise aesthetic as well as the likelihood of available parts, I’ll get down with Henry to-nite.
The Alfa’s power window issue would be something that would bug me until resolved.
Looking at the pic of the engine compartment, what’s spookier to me is that open-ended elbow hovering over the exhaust manifold. It looks like something is missing.
But to my eye, it’s still pretty.
The Ranchero is just absolute rock bottom styling and mechanical malaise.
Choosing between these two is a Morton’s Fork. Both will end up with you weeping, either because you’re looking at it (Ford) or trying to repair it (Alfa).
Also because you have to walk around it to get to the door. I’m pretty sure it’s approximately 35 miles to walk from front to back
I don’t have use for a ute that’s both that ugly and that thirsty.
I don’t love Alfa, but that one’s sort of attractive in a shy girl kind of way, plus it’s a manual, so that’s today’s choice.
The Ranchero is incredibly homely. The only good use is to buy it as performance art and enter it into a car show so that you can spite someone at that car show. Maybe a bad neighbor, or the judges who sidelined your mint, all-original restoration of a Testarossa or something.
I want to cruise in that ute, with a scooter or two in the bed. That thing is freaking sweet.
Alfa for me. Hoping that uses up part of my daily quota of bad choices.
This era is the absolute bottom of the barrel for Ford styling. Well, except for maybe the Ovalrus. That being said, I can’t argue with a ute.
This is neither may favorite generation of the Ranchero nor my favorite Alfa, but I’d rather have the Ranchero and deal with the silly tall-deck 351M and C6 auto than lose my soul and wallet fussing with an Alfa as silly-looking as the Alfetta – the sedans could almost be called okay looking, but the fastbacks are just…yuck. The GTV that replaced the Alfetta wasn’t exactly a knockout itself, but at least it was interesting, which the Alfetta was not. For that money, there are better Alfa models out there to lose one’s sanity over.
This Alfa model is sneakily attractive to me. If I bought it, I’d probably be stuck in a love/hate relationship until we parted ways.
I used to live near someone with an Alfetta GTV in red, and it always struck me as an Italian AMC Eagle, and not in a good way. I saw that Alfetta more at the independent Alfa/Ferrari mechanic shop down the street from my office than I did at the guy’s house, and this was almost 25 years ago – I can’t imagine time has been any kinder to the notorious Alfa reliability and parts availability.
Oddly enough the looks of the Alfetta has grown on me a bit at the same time the lovely prior generation GTV has slipped out of my price range.
I’ll take the Italian and probably wind up with heartburn in the morning. The Ranchero exists in a space where it’s not pristine enough to be on a pedestal, and not rough enough to do useful work. The Alfa will be far more engaging, albeit on some seriously high profile tires. Also, getting that power window to actually work will probably cause more than a little swearing.
Wow, that Ranchero is fugly!
Like the El Camino, the Ranchero was never meant to do useful work. Oh, I suppose you could throw a couple of bales of hay in the back to feed the horses on your gentleman’s farm/ranch. But that’s about it.
John Dutton would never have driven one. 😉
If the Ford were running as well as the Alfa is, then it would be a tougher choice, given forward-looking maintenance requirements. But if a few weekends under the hood (and chassis, and gas tank) are the cost of entry for the ute with a longer hood than bed, then I might as well enjoy the Italian for as long as I can then ditch it as soon as something really annoying comes up.
I was an impressionable middle schooler when my older brother had both those albums, and they still slap today! Their follow-up, Beat Crazy, is also solid; early Joe is the best Joe! And while a high school friend used to pick me up in his green ’73 Ranchero, the Alfa got my vote cuz uno) center tach, and due) I wanna live la dolce vita! Ciao.
The Alpha is pretty but will break my heart – been there done that. Gotta go for the Ford, especially since I took my driver’s test in an LTD II. Pop in the Look Sharp 8-track, crank up Is She Really Going Out with Him (see my first comment), and ease on down the road.
Italian Leyland. Well played, whoever came up with that.
This is like one of Jason’s horrifying “would you rather” exercises. Do you want the rock simple Ford that will never let you down, but lacerates your eyes every time you look at that face? Or that gorgeous Alfa (love this design) that will forever torment you?