We’re right on the cusp of one of the biggest travel periods in America, and, of course, a lot of that travel will be on airplanes. The fact that we humans have made air travel work – not just from a technical standpoint, but a behavioral and cultural one – is really pretty astonishing. We’re cramming hundreds of people into aluminum tubes and then trapping them a mile above the ground for hours at a time, in uncomfortable seats and restricted motion. It’s a wonder it works as well as it does, and every flight doesn’t devolve into a shitshow. The truth is the vast majority of flights go just fine, despite everything. That’s probably why seeing an example of a flight turning into not just a shitshow, but a full-fledged shitstravaganza is so incredible, like what seems to have happened on this recent Frontier Airlines flight. It’s a whole variety show of chaos, with screaming and ranting and struggling and security and clambering over seats and singing and proselytizing – it’s got everything, all at once.
I think you just have to see this. I’m not sure how else to describe it:
Wow. Right? There’s so much going on, so many involved players, so much chaos. A lot of media outlets have been covering this, because, really, how can they not, us included? I especially like the headline used in the Daily Mail, with their strange habit of putting certain words in all caps:
SEATS and HYMN? Those were the words they decided to emphasize? So if you’re very quickly scanning headlines, you’re gonna think, what, the Vatican has issued some new papal decree that everyone must stay seated when signing hymns?
It’s not entirely clear how it all started; it seems to be that the woman who flight attendants and later security guards are trying to restrain, the one who later resorted to climbing over the tops of the, um, SEATS, was the source, screaming wordlessly and disturbingly. Surprisingly and impressively, another passenger seems to have calmed her down a bit, but chaos was not to be deterred, with a man in a white ballcap keeping the flames of disorder burning, then the initial woman was screaming about being kidnapped, then we get the evangelical woman seizing the opportunity to blame a demon and attempt to convert some new followers for Christ, all while another person screamed “Straight Texas style! I’m gonna beat your ass!” which, of course, helped. Then came the hymns.
I can’t know the mental state of the woman causing the initial commotion; it’s certainly possible there’s some larger issue going on here, in which case I hope she’s getting the help she needs.
The flight was to be a Houston to Denver flight, but had to land in Dallas because, well, you know why. Upon landing, the seat climber, the preacher, and white cap were all taken off the plane.
Want to see what a flight path looks like when you realize the whole plane is erupting into madness? It looks like this, like a U-turn in the sky:
The whole thing kind of reminded me of this scene from Airplane II, just minus the helpful signage:
Anyway, I hope you have a great time traveling this holiday!
I don’t think any other airline has taken the (strategic?) dive down the food chain quite like Frontier has. 10+ years ago, they were the fucking BEST. You got free warm chocolate chip cookies, free TV in every seat, reasonably priced tickets.
There was also a brief period of time where you would be lucky enough to get a Midwest Airlines plane when they just merged with Frontier. I’m talking about an entire 737(?) that was trunk to skunk with ONLY business class seats… so no one could get a middle seat even if they wanted it.
But, I guess America was ripe for more ultra low cost carriers, so I understand the business end of it.
Midwest were also the last US airline still using real china and silverware for meals on domestic flights, and they would bake fresh cookies on board. They held onto their old-school model for as long as they could, but financial realities eventually caught up
Ugh, that sounds nice. Wish they were still around, but, we can’t have nice things.
When American Airlines started baking cookies, specifically chocolate chip variety, onboard for its domestic flights, they were baked especially for the First Class passengers and nothing for the peons behind the magic curtain. This was to spite the peons for flying on the cheap and to entice them into selling their kidneys (yeah, illegally) for the First Class seat.
The scent of cookies permeated heavily throughout the entire cabin. Not even the less fortunate peons at the last row were spared from the olfactory assault. After alighting, some of peons would file out of the plane, bitching at the obsequious cabin crew about the nauseating scent.
Or, because they were carrying more passengers than the on board ovens could possibly serve and the first class seats were more than double the price of coach, which is mostly pure profit for the airline, so you throw them a couple cheap perks so they don’t realize how much they were ripped off and continue buying 1st class tickets.
Midwest Express operated in essentially an all-business class format, you were not getting American Airlines Cosch prices on any of their tickets, which was not sustainable post-deregulation. Trump Air Shuttle and one of the several Pan Am reboots also tried the no coach, all business idea, to their demise
“you throw them a couple cheap perks so they don’t realize how much they were ripped off and continue buying 1st class tickets.”
Whose buying those tickets, the passengers or the company for whom they’re traveling? If the latter whose actually paying for those seats, the customers of that company and/or you and me as taxpayers after those companies write off the cost of those tickets?
Like no. Not signing in to Reddit to view the video. No other options? Don’t have an account, don’t want to log in with one from somewhere else. Just no.
I don’t understand….. why would you need to sign in to reddit? The video is embedded here, and even if it wasn’t, it can be viewed on reddit without logging in….
The video does not play on Autopian, and it won’t play unless I sign in to Reddit. Annoying for sure.
Are you doing this on a phone?Try reloading this page in desktop mode.The video should autoplay
Nope, on a real computer, not one of those crippled computers!
I think you may have some weird filter…. I have all auto-play turned off using every possible method, and I have never even heard of having to “log in” to reddit. It’s an open site with no requirements for login…..
That’s weird, the video is even on autoplay here on my side 🙂
Autoplayn on the Autopian
I’m sure all the people pulling out their phones and holding them up to get video had nothing to do with the frustrating continuation of this situation.
I’m sure nobody noticed and took all the attention as a prompt to be recognized as the social media hero they know they can be.
(dripping with sarcasm)
This (the original disturbance) type of interaction is not new.
People used to be polite and ignore it.
Maybe try and help if they could.
In most public spaces we are still the same noble apes we have always been.
Friendly, courteous, kind.
It’s the smart phone that is turning us back into animals.
WAaaaaaaaaaHhhhhh!
“I got that on video bro!”
“Um… people are filming this! I’ll sing a hymn!”
“Fuck your hymnal!”
Look at me look at me. Do I matter yet?
Flipping out on an in flight airplane is simply the easiest way to be seen and heard these days.
Also a great way to get charged with interfering with a flight crew:
https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/49/46504
I’m guessing if they have to divert the plane because of your tantrum that’ll be the least of your legal worries.
Hope it was worth it.
I flew Frontier once. The ticket was unbelievably cheap, but they charged you for everything else, print a boarding pass, it’ll cost you, carry on, cost you. Anyway, it wasn’t worth it, after that experience and this video will never fly Frontier again.
No words. I just can’t.
I am genuinely sorry for everyone traveling today. Every flight delay has more than half the people exclaiming “But I am on the way to see my family for Thanksgiving! You can’t do this to me!” And they are completely content in their ignorance that Thanksgiving is actually celebrated by the majority of Americans, including the others on their flight.
The most upsetting part for me is that the woman in the grey hat is wearing it inside out, tags are supposed to be on the inside.
Jesus told her it was ok.
It’s called style, look it up
(Jk)
Well, you’re paying for the brand name, aren’t you? What good is it if you wear the tag on the inside
Pretty sure nobody’s going to be impressed with an irregular hat bought at Ross or Marshall’s super discount bonanza.
Hell, I’m not impressed with a hat bought on Rodeo drive! Mostly because I have no idea what stores are on Rodeo drive.
For reals. Like, turn that right-side out.
I have flown from Houston to Denver too many times to remember.
This is just another average flight.
Same. The only real variable is which airline, and from that, what kind of chaos will ensue.
The Great U-Turn in the Sky
“I am not frightened of flying, you know
Any flight will do, I don’t mind
Why should I be frightened of flying?
There’s no reason for it, you’ve gotta go somewhere”
Comment of the season.
Please accept this complimentary hood ornament with my thanks…
I regret that I have but one upvote to give.
Descend like a rock. Anyone not strapped in gets pinned to the ceiling.
Nah. Shove those throttles to the stops and point the nose to the sky! Pin everyone to the floor till the plane reaches its ceiling, then level out just long enough for the flight crew to get onto oxygen (they know the drill). Then disable the passenger oxygen masks and cut cabin pressure knocking everyone out. The crew can then at their leisure duct tape whoever needs it to a chair and serve complimentary watered down “we’re sorry for knocking you out” drinks to everyone else.
I’m impressed, as always, with the attendants and their unflappability and judgment. They seemingly gauge exactly the right level of intervention, aware of their background and the possibilities of the (bizarre) situation.
It’s a tough job that doesn’t get nearly the respect it deserves.
I kinda want to be a flight attendant just to have a chance to duct tape or saran wrap somebody to a seat.
There’s people that offer that service for a price you can negotiate privately
You seem well informed.
THIS.
A job where i can make the world a better place (insert cant breath coz i’m laughing too hard emoji)
If I were on that plane I’d be praying too… Praying it’d be a 737 Max without the software patch.
At 0:59 you can see the exact moment that dude in white decided it’s time to find new employment.
I’m going to be sitting comfortably on housebound furniture and staying local for the entire blinkety-blankety weekend.
I used to travel a lot for work. Thankfully it has been some time since I needed to do anything except short (<1 hour) hops, and I’m generally okay with that. A routine week would see me on 2-4 flights and I don’t recall ever encountering a mess like we just saw. Yikes.
..but did you fly Frontier? 🙂
I also fly a lot for work, but if my work would one day ask me to fly on Frontier, Spirit, JetBlue, Southwest, I’d quit on the spot.
Well, I don’t know about the rest of you but she sold me on accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. Nothing like proselytizing to a group of people trapped in a metal tube flying around in God’s living room to really get your point across.
Honestly, though? Props to the preacher lady for getting things to calm down for a tiny moment, haha. Defusing the weird situation with more weirdness kinda worked?
Wow. I guess every flight is just one passenger-having-a-psychotic-break away from complete chaos.
Well when you cram more passengers on per flight you make it much easier for those more passengers to lose it. Especially the coach passengers you forced to do the walk of shame through first class:
https://www.pnas.org/doi/full/10.1073/pnas.1521727113
That’s a pretty interesting article. Would be interesting to know of any follow-up research.
Here’s some:
“Other research has identified potential risk factors associated with problems in the sky. One study out of Australia conducted a roundtable examination of unruly passenger incidents, and identified some passenger profiles as well as behavioral red flags that caused problems in the air.[6] Their information sharing suggested that unruly passengers were more likely to be traveling on holiday, especially to “party” destinations, rather than flying for business.[7] Increased unruly passenger incidents were associated with destinations for major entertainment or sporting events. [8]
While no “problem passenger” profile emerged,[9] there were some interesting statistics. Background characteristics such as ethnicity, gender, or even class of travel (first class, business, economy) did not predict unruly passenger incidents, yet groups of passengers traveling together such as sports teams, groups of workers, or party participants were identified as potentially problematic.[10]”
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/201705/fight-or-flight-what-causes-air-rage-the-surprising-answer
So maybe a plane crammed full of people flying home for Thanksgiving counts? Maybe add in the stress of dreaded family issues they usually avoid by living away?
The good news is there is a solution: Festivus!
OK bear with me here. This is from the same reference as above:
“Reducing Air Rage by Addressing Aired Grievances
Inflight disruption and discontent may be diverted or avoided through addressing passenger complaints, and by increasing consumer information and comfort.”
Which is on note with Festivus:
“Festivus (/ˈfɛstɪvəs/) is a secular holiday celebrated on December 23 as an alternative to the pressures and commercialism of the Christmas season.
The non-commercial holiday’s celebration, as depicted on Seinfeld, occurs on December 23 and includes a Festivus dinner, an unadorned aluminum Festivus pole, practices such as the “airing of grievances” and “feats of strength”, and the labeling of easily explainable events as “Festivus miracles.”
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Festivus
So lose the commercialism e.g. the first class section and air the grievances. Throw in a few pre-boarding feats of strength to get everyone tuckered out so they’ll quickly go to sleep once inside the giant Festivus pole (after all what is an airliner if not a giant aluminum pole?).
Miracles? That the thing flies is a damn Festivus miracle. Getting through the flight without anyone losing their shit, that’d be a miracle.
Yes indeed, Festivus for the rest of us.
I’ve had to travel through Las Vegas a number of times on my way to other places. My experience is very much in line with these findings.
And the Festivus idea is a great one!
Mr Garrison’s more pleasant alternative to airline travel looks better and better every day.
A friend and I were flying from Vancouver to Montreal, hungover and maybe a wee bit stoned still, woman beside friend indicated she had to say a prayer for 25000 aborted Christians and asked him to hold her hand, he asked if his boyfriend could join in too- he ended up being moved to a better seat, sadly I was stuck in smelly hockey player section with bonus screaming child
God created abortion. Being pro-life is against His will.
Indeed. A miscarriage is an abortion performed by God.
“Houston, we have a problem.”
Grace, the final Frontier …
These are the voyages of the airship Mentalprise…
…needed some Tribbles.
Yeah, except Frontier no longer allows emotional support animals on board.
Yeah, because a Golden Retriever might cause a disturbance
You’d never be able to take off because everyone entering or exiting the plane would be stopping to ask WHO’S A GOOD BOY?!
It’s nice that Frontier has decided to replace the in-flight movies with live entertainment.
You never know when those psychedelics are really going to kick in, do you?
“That’s it! Back to
WinnipegDallas!”“I swear to God, one more peep back there and I will turn this plane around!”
Even more reasons I’m glad I don’t fly….
It ain’t much of a reason, but I don’t need much!
Just give her a second bag of peanuts already. It’s not that big of a deal.
Fly for 50 bucks, do you really expect sanity? It’s the same craziness you can find on your nearest Greyhound bus, only 35,000 feet up so you can’t eject them on the side of the road.
Half baked cookies in the oven, half baked people on the bus…
I think that depends on your ethics, morality, and ability to accurately drop unwilling cargo.
Boeing and Airbus really need to work on a safe(-ish) way to eject a small group of passengers off a plane without landing.
Safe? Nah. Ejecto seat cuz
Only the best seats will do, like the one used by LtJG Nick Bradshaw.
A bathroom might make a good temporary holding cell.
Bring back the 727!!
http://static1.1.sqspcdn.com/static/f/343804/6417138/1270497342010/727-Jump.jpg?token=Sa2w0zuluEvKPBsIHZ52I8jliKo%3D
“Folks…uhh…this is the captain speaking. Except for the crazy person in seat 14A, please make sure your seat belt is tightly buckled, any handheld devices are stowed, and that $8 sip of Coca-Cola and $12 bag of Doritos are consumed. It’s about to get a little breezy in the cabin…”
That’s the beauty of it–you don’t even need to specify that person stay unbuckled. They’ll be mad they’re being asked to buckle up and refuse. It’s their own fault for not following the flight attendants’ instructions.
People pine for the golden age of air travel, the subtext being only a certain caste was afforded the privilege. Now we got the unwashed masses onboard and shit is krazy.
Similarly, the Internet was more civil in general when you had to pay by the minute to connect to it
F u
I blame society
I blame “Marteau”
Oh I dunno. Is the flight over open water? Whole airlines have vanished without a trace out there, what’s an unruly passenger compared to that?