Happy Indigenous Peoples’ Day! I guess if you still celebrate Columbus Day, enjoy that too. The point is, I hope you have the day off to knock about and relax and consider indigenous people and things of all sorts, and, most importantly, catch up on reading a bunch of Autopian articles from way back during our very first month in existence. You may have missed these!
We’d just gotten started, after all, and I think we came out of the gate strong, with some great stories from some great writers. I feel like some of these we’ve managed to re-post often enough that they’ve gotten their fair share of eyes on them; today, I’d like to highlight a bunch of posts that I think were great, but because they happened so early, didn’t have the advantage of the audience size we have now.
So, even though we’re off today, I’ll give you about the same number of stories to read, just, you know, old. From around April 2022! But I’ll try to find pretty timeless ones, so you’re not going to have to read old news about how we predicted that 2024 will be the Year of Stellantis or whatever.
Also, in these early months, it was pretty much just me, David and Thomas doing everything, with the help of some great freelancers, so you’ll see our names a lot.
The Project Cactus Saga
How An Australian Town Came Together To Help An American Fix The Most Hopeless Car On Earth
I feel like David’s whole go-to-Australia-for-a-month-and-ressurect-a-long-dead ute saga never got the attention it deserved. What David pulled off here is staggering, and definitely worth a read, if only to follow the journey of a man who got over his fear of spiders.
A Story From A Real, Secret OEM Designer
This is an amazing behind-the-scenes story of auto design and earthquakes. If you missed it, you need to give this a read, it’s fascinating.
Some Early Torch Drives
I feel like these are fun, and I want people to see them! So, here, make these little videos of a man who loves weird-ass cars feel seen!
This Video About Talbot-Lago Trafficators
This is one of my favorite videos we’ve shot; it’s not all that old but it has I think the best ending payoff of anything we’ve done.
Our Cranky Brit Goth Designer Has Been Here From The Get-Go
I think the speculative designs Adrian has done based on reader suggestions are fantastic; this re-imagining of the classic American station wagon is one of my favorites. I think Adrian’s appreciation of American cars from an outsider’s perspective has made me re-evaluate how I think about them, too.
Jaguar’s Dune Buggy?
You know what words you never think of together? Jaguar and dune buggy. Fine, three words. But it seems Jaguar may have almost invented the dune buggy? What?
We Had Big Plans For A Small Town
A Look At Small-Town American Car Culture: Scott, His Tesla, And The Tiny College He Runs
Early on, we had some really charming stories from a writer in Sterling, Kansas, and envisioned it as a weekly feature, dispatches from the car culture of a small town. We had a few, but it didn’t really last. Still I’m fond of these.
I Always Like A Good Ridiculous What If
It’s fun to imagine what-if scenarios, even ones that are, objectively, inane. Like this one I did where I wondered how cars would differ if we lived in a world without glass. I’d say we’re through the looking glass on this one but I can’t! I can’t Because NO GLASS!
Deep Geekery At Its Best
The 1987 Lincoln by Vignale Was A Beautiful AWD Concept And A Damn Dirty Liar
Thomas’ car knowledge is deep and vast and dark, like an ominous mineshaft full of engine codes and obscure part numbers. Here he tells us the story about a lying Lincoln concept, and it’s one worth remembering.
Our Museum Hookup
Here’s A Detailed Tour Of One Of The Last Big, Rear-Engined, Air-Cooled Cars Ever: The Tatra T700
Early on, we had weekly reports from my favorite motor museum, the Lane Museum in Nashville. Rex Bennett wrote these, and while he’s been a bit too busy to continue them regularly, I think we’ll be hearing more from our pals at the Lane. Also, this Tatra is sublime.
David’s Dumb Mistakes
The Amount Of Money I Wasted By Using An Electric Heater In My Garage Is Unbelievable
You know what everyone loves? David making very questionable decisions. This wasn’t even exactly a directly automotive-related mistake, just a nice, satisfying case of wasting a lot of money.
Finally, The Whack-A-Mole/Automotive Connection
How This Tiny Car Led To The Creation Of The Famous Whac-A-Mole Arcade Game
You know how you’ve been wondering about the connection between the Whack-A-Mole arcade game and the automotive world? We had the answer for you back in April 2022!
David Talking Shit About The AMC V8 Is Cathartic
Sure, this ended up with threats of violence against David, but it sure is a fun ride, listening to David lambast this miserable boat anchor of a V8.
The Joys Of Early Bishop
A Trained Designer Imagines What Communist Czech Car Company Tatra Could Have Built In The 1980s
At first, I wrote up the Bishop’s incredible and imaginative automotive fever dreams, but soon he felt ready to be talk to all of you in his own voice. Here’s an early example, featuring more Tatras!
60 For 60
I always liked this video David shot in a Detroit junkyard of some car lovers getting hernias.
China’s Unknown Early Sports Car History
Our man Tycho is perhaps the best historian and analyst of Chinese cars and car culture working today, and he covers parts of Chinese car culture you see no where else, at least not in English. Like this fascinating dive into early Chinese sports cars.
The Most Words About A Button Labeled “Rest” You’re Likely To See
Why The ‘REST’ Button On German Cars’ Climate Control Panels Is A Wonderful Feature To Have
I’ve always felt that in automotive journalism, no detail is too small to write about. Like a label, on a button.
Screw It, Here’s Mack Hardigraw
Murder By Flashing Amber Light: A Mack Hardigraw Car Mystery
These are all so great, and I’m surprised I missed some so will have to go back and read them. The BEST mini series of Autopian so far has been Project Cactus, hands down. My favorite feature is Shitbox Showdown…I love this site!
Has anyone visited one of those Nina replica ship stops at a waterway near you? Holy crap is it much smaller than expected. Can’t imagine sailing across the ocean in one of those loaded down.
Sureeee. *Slowly backs up and gets a Straight Jacket and some Phermaldihide*
Yes I meant chloroform. I didn’t want to Google “What chemical do they use to knock someone out”.
Despite my employer being closed because holiday, my department still has to work. We do, however, get paid time and a half for part of it and double time for the rest. And there will be enough downtime to read the ones I haven’t yet. Win-win.
I miss those items from the Lane, so if they have the opportunity to contribute more, I look forward to it.
“History is written by the victors” -Winston Churchill
While that is certainly true, at the same time, it is also utter BS.
Saying that Columbus “discovered” (North) America is like saying that I “discovered” a really good restaurant near my house. Of course I didn’t.
Not to mention his atrocious acts concerning slavery and indigenous peoples. And the fact that “Columbus Day” is the same day as “Indigenous Peoples Day”.
Watching Torch drive that Autozam reminds me of my long gone Fiat X-19 right down to the spare behind the right seat. Similar horsepower too.
I’m curious to know how they’d stack up to each other.
The Aztecs had it right when it came to canals.
How is the story about the pilot that shit his pants in a fighter jet not the lede, the middle lede and the punhcline? It’s not even a contest. It’s the best story ever put on here.
I came here looking for that as well. Definitely one of the top articles I have ever read on any publication. I have probably read it a dozen times, and shared it at least 20, and I still laugh so hard I cry every single time.
And I thought it was Canadian Thanksgiving 😉
“What is all this I keep hearing about indignant people?”
Emily Latilla.
They’re all fighting for eagle rights. Never mind.
Not to mention Presidential Erections?
Around my neck of the woods, this hasn’t been a holiday in my lifetime (40+ years). Unless you work for the federal government, of course. But schools and businesses and local government don’t care. Because screw that guy.
You can thank The Kinghts of Columbus and other Catholic and Italian American organizations for Columbus Day. They lobbied for acday to honor the contributions of Catholics and immigrants to American society. The Knights also wanted to recognize a shared religious heritage with Italian Americans, who had celebrated Columbus Day in New York City since the late 1860s.
They are going to love the results of a twenty year long research project that was published in Spain on Saturday. It seems that Columbus was a Sephardic Jew. Certainly not Italian at all it seems likely that he was from Valencia but spent quite a lot of effort concealing his Jewish ancestry, including rather brilliantly,being in the Bahamas when Ferdinand II of Aragon and Isabella of Castile ordered the expulsion of all Jews from Spain in 1492.
“In 1492, Columbus sailed because he was a Jew.” Doesn’t have the same ring to it.
So it’s Torchinsky day! You can’t choose your relations.
I prefer ;
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-vikings-a-memorable-visit-to-america-98090935/
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/presidential-actions/2024/10/08/a-proclamation-on-leif-erikson-day-2024/
Honestly, if it weren’t for the Catholics life would be much worse for everyone. Just sayin’.
Ehhhhhh gonna have to imagine some people feel differently about that one, lol.
Where do we start?
If I were off like some people are today, I might take a crack at it. But there’s just not enough time!
Take a crack at it, go after JT’s Jewish folks next.
Don’t speak ill on things that you don’t comprehend.
I’m not trying to start a thing, but if this site gets “it”, they won’t get your smarmy crap.
I’m Catholic.
I bet they do. Take that alternative. Hint: It’s not better.
I’ve gone back several time to reread the Mack Hardigraw stories.
And Tycho’s China car pieces are a great glimpse into the culture.
Definitely miss the Lane Museum pieces.
Wish I was off today: wind gusts already took my hat once. And the extension ladder is a bit sketch —especially since I lost a brand new ladder here to wind a couple years back. Good times. At least the sunrise was stunningly beautiful 🙂
Yes, PLEASE more from the Lane or any other institution that will demean themselves to our level. I saw Sir Vival in the restoration shop split in two a few years ago and need an update.
Windy here, too, on the Southeast coast. My morning kayak exercise was a chore trying to keep position on the river. It was a beautiful sunrise on the water.
Jealous of your morning kayaking for sure, but I’ll bet fighting the wind was a workout.
I’m already off today, thankfully, so I’ll save the Get Out of Office Free (GOOF) card for later. 🙂
One day I’ll have a job with a gratuitous amount of holidays. One day
Actually jobs like that suck a little bit. Per state law my position is required to take them off, but I still have to get the same amount of work done, just in a much shorter time. Oh and holidays are extra stressful for my parolees because they don’t necessariy get to go see family or even have visits with them. So, looking forward to lots of unpleasant conversations tomorrow.
Roses are red, violates are blue
Piss me off and it’s back to jail for you.
That’s not really mutually inclusive or exclusive. Every career and job is going to treat vacation differently
The true revelation – Torch ghostwrote for The Bishop at one point. This helps explain the feeling so many of us had that they were the same person. The different drawing style was what was really throwing me. And confirmation from Mercedes that he was real and in Chicago.
..but you still have no real proof that I exist, and you’ve never seen us in the same place at the same time.
It will be a big reveal, like some season ending episode of a popular TV show. You are identical twins separated at birth.
I’m glad you have found your own voice.
Do you wear birth control glasses to hide your identity?
I think those are part of Matt’s Rapaport costume.
Akshully… if I remember correctly, there was a “Tales From the Slack” post wherein your given name was used. So if you think you see some movement outside your windows or think you hear someone moving around your house at night and wake to find some of your personal items missing, it’s us!
And an unrelated question for any biologists out there: How many stray hairs and/or nail clippings do you need to amass a cloneable amount of DNA?
AlterId- I’ll leave out some rakes so feel free to make some leaf piles if you stop by; be a real help so I can make more stupid posts.
I’d be happy to help. and not just by doing yardwork. With my input, those posts will be at least twice as stupid in half the time!
Do you only move diagonally?
Getting old … been here since day 1. I see the first Bishop articles WERE attributed to Torch.
Right? It all makes so much sense now.
Happy Set Out To Go One Place And End Up Somewhere Else Day.
Remember to never admit that you ended up somewhere else though, instead rename the people you find after the people you expected to find and then spread disease and all manner of other evil atrocities.
He discovered America is what he did! He was a brave Italian explorer. And in this house Christopher Columbus is a hero, END OF STORY!
No /s?
Even in an age when slavery was the norm, he was regarded as brutal. Sex trafficking of very young victims—and almost gleeful about that.
Nope: I do not celebrate C day
All heros are flawed, but dude was beyond the pale: can’t be excused because ‘that was normal then’
Buddy, it’s just a line from the Sopranos.
No vituperation. And, that’s why I asked.
Thanks: I’m not quite David Tracy level pop culture unaware—but I missed most of the last quarter century of TV.
Put quotation marks around it next time to clue in the culturally impaired.
There should be a holiday for the pop-culturally impaired. Only they get it off, and it’d give them a chance to catch up.
Can’t fall on a Monday, though, that’s when David needs to film and edit Trade-In Tuesday.
We could call it Clueless Day, but they won’t get that either.
December 23rd, so they’re spared at the Airing of Grievances that they never get our references.
So dolts can ketchup? What’s the point of being smert then?
Ouch!
OK; that’s fair cause I hesitated over the capitalized bit at the end. Out of character: should have googled it
Thanks Tony.
On my way to work right now. I’ve a feeling I’ll actually end up at a circus instead.
Is that Venn diagram not a perfect circle in your life?
I used to work with actual, real-life monkeys. Still feels like I do, even though I’ve changed fields.
I suspect the real-life monkeys were more predictable. Just a hunch, though.
Vastly more predictable and better-behaved.
Or, Grossly miss underestimated the size of the earth—and was so informed—but tried anyway and somehow didn’t die day
Sad thing is, it took him six years and two more voyages to finally realize he’d never made it to Asia. (Or North America, for that matter.)