Most of our regular readers know I suffer from an affliction. I love to collect cars, but for whatever unfortunate reason, I find myself attracted to some truly questionable vehicles. Why buy a Toyota when I could get a diesel Volkswagen with over 300,000 miles? Everyone talks about how bad the Volkswagen Phaeton and Touareg V10 TDI is, yet they didn’t deter me from spending real money on such vehicles. I’m now on my second Phaeton!
I say this because when I’m given the chance to substitute for a Shitbox Showdown, the cars I choose are cars I would buy in real life. If I didn’t already have full parking spots and eyes on something way cooler, I’d be on my way to pick up this morning’s Touareg right now. The mileage doesn’t scare me one bit! But the rear locker and that interior draw me in like a bug to a flame. Maybe I’m just a masochist after all.
Thankfully, most of you are smarter than I am. Nsane In The MembraNe says it so well:
I would rather stick my dingaling in a hornet’s nest than deal with a VW or Land Rover with 150,000 miles.
See also this one from MEK:
Is this like an S&M thing? “What do you want today my pet, the whips or the chains?”
Either way you’re getting a beating.
This morning, Lewin showed us the 2025 BMW M4 CS. It’s a car with a lot of power, but a really busy face. I had to read this comment from PaysOutAllNight, so you will have to as well:
Now it not only has huge nostrils, all the spindly shit inside the nostrils makes it look like you’re staring up an old man’s nose.
And then a red ring around them making it looks they’ve been irritated by the old man shoving his dirty fingers up there all day…
Gross, stacked upon more gross. Cannot unsee.
Finally, Jason showed us a video of a mine in Switzerland that’s filled with old VWs. One of these cars had a weird plastic jug in it, and Jason couldn’t figure out what it was for.
Mikkeli is on the case!
A battery is wired to a servo that rhythmically beats jug to imitate the sound of an operative engine.
Have a great evening everyone!
I don’t think one should need to justify their petrosexual perversion. Mine is RRC:s and I’m not ashamed of it. Wife’s not quite on same page on my kink :D.
That nostril comparison is gold!
My favorite line about the VW Phaeton goes something like “your friends think it is a Passat but you know what you drive and how it spoils you… as long as it will start.”
Sometimes I watch Bullets Over Broadway just for that one line about masochism.
But I don’t mind the nostrils on this Bimmer. Call me an apologist but it looks better than the WS6 Trans Am.
don’t talk to me about afflictions for the odd and unusual:
71 Europa
72 Honda N600
85 Jaguar XJS
99 M113 AMG swapped, 6 speed SLK
2009 Cadillac STS
I’m not afraid of work. or the chains… or the whips!
Pfft, wuss. Signed former owner of:
91 Jetta EcoDiesel
04 X-Type
04 Disco II
Current owner of:
07 XKR
21 P300 Defender
68 Series IIa 109.
… I think I might have some unresolved childhood trauma.
…. Why.
Why not? 😀
I guess the username checks out :p
These are some hilarious COTDs! Now I’m ready to start my day with a good laugh!
I missed that comparison. I am quite fond of the PL7x Cayenne and Touareg (which are the first- and second-generation ones, before they went on the goofy longitude-transaxle Audi/MLB platform for the current ones). At a 24 Hours of Lemons race last weekend, I did meet a gentleman with a very nice V10 TDI Touareg, and surprisingly, he had nice things to say about it. He didn’t seem to think it was much trouble to drop the powertrain out of it for various maintenance and repair issues.
The problem with the Touareg is that it doesn’t do anything better than the Swiss-Army-knife vehicle I already own, an LR4. And I’ve sunk enough money into that (including $2,500 just yesterday for a LPFP, fuel pressure sensor, and some coolant hoses) that it’s worth keeping.
Now, would I consider a gen-1 Cayenne? Absolutely. Those had some serious go-fast trims. I think I’d do a Turbo, because…why not?
Yes! Got one!
“Maybe I’m just a masochist after all.”
From what you’ve shared about Sheryl and yourself, you just sound like you’re doing life on Hard Mode, but are also very adept at doing so.
Maternal instinct…