Home » What Should Our Beloved Jason Watch While Absolutely Whacked Out On Painkillers?

What Should Our Beloved Jason Watch While Absolutely Whacked Out On Painkillers?

Aa Torch Painkillers
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As you may have heard, our beloved Jason’s heart exploded last month and it took the doctors something like 10 hours to put enough RTV on it to get it running right again. The good news is he’s finally home from the hospital and  getting some much-deserved rest as his body tries to recover from having his ribs cracked open like a Christmas chestnut. Side note: Is that where the word chestnut comes from? I’m not going to look it up.

We’re not quite sure how long it’ll take to get Jason back on these pages regularly, but he’s on Slack and vigorously chatting with all of us from the comfort of his bed. Thank you, of course, to all of you who supported Jason in this surprise endeavor. We all greatly appreciate it and I will reward you with a cute picture of Jason recovering with his dog very soon.

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But Jason needs your help again! You see, he can’t work (did you hear that Jason? No working!) and yet his mind is pretty much all there. Or, well, as there as it ever was. The one wrinkle is that his doctor prescribed him a bunch of serious painkillers and anti-seizure meds because, if I had to guess, they put a scar the size of a Jeep Grand Wagoneer down his center.

He is, in his own words, pretty high. He has earned this high by not dying. Since he can’t work and his brain is levitating about two feet above his bed, the one thing he can do is watch stuff. What should Jason watch while completely zonked out?

I suggested that he should watch all the Fast and the Furious movies in the correct canonical order (as opposed to the cinematic release order). What do you think he should check out?

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Ok, here’s a picture of Jason recuperating at home as a reward for your help.

Los Jason

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Boulevard_Yachtsman
Boulevard_Yachtsman
11 months ago

Redline. No, not the one from 2007 with the cars and the bad acting, but R-R-R-R-R-Redline – the glorious wonder that is the 2009 Anime Spectacular with a 5-wheeled space Firebird and oh so much more.

“Redline should not be missed”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2t26m_Q6ENo

MaximillianMeen
MaximillianMeen
11 months ago

When you are bonkers on pain killers, go for an even more bonkers movie.

Holy Motors – French film with multiple vignettes loosely centered on people riding around Paris in a stretched Lincoln Town Car. Almost no dialogue.

Liquid Sky – a New Wave fashion show is crashed by aliens.

The Forbidden Zone – by a young Danny Elfman. That’s all that needs to be said.

Grimy Ghost
Grimy Ghost
11 months ago

Here’s a few more that are good for an altered state of mind:

  • Princess Bride (with Otto around – then they can do the quotes together)
  • The Matrix (only the OG)
  • Clerks
  • Office Space
  • Blackadder
  • Mr. Bean
  • The Italian Job (OG)
  • Young Frankenstein (with Otto around)
  • Blazing Saddles (definitely NOT with Otto around)
Not Sure
Not Sure
11 months ago
Reply to  Grimy Ghost

• Peep Show
• I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson

SNL-LOL Jr
SNL-LOL Jr
11 months ago
Reply to  Grimy Ghost

Oh hell yes. Blackadder. The first series was a bit iffy but the rest are just glorious.

David Smith
David Smith
11 months ago
Reply to  Grimy Ghost

Blazing Saddles (definitely NOT with Otto around)

Why not with Otto around?
Is it the weinerschnitzel scene?

Last edited 11 months ago by David Smith
Grimy Ghost
Grimy Ghost
11 months ago
Reply to  David Smith

Yep – that’s the one! He needs another year or two – or to find it on his own.

Drew
Drew
11 months ago

Years ago, I watched 12 Monkeys while on pharmaceuticals. It was way tripper that way than the actual movie turned out to be.

This may not work on subsequent viewings, so my suggestion is just to pick weird things you haven’t seen and let the drugs do their magic.

Last edited 11 months ago by Drew
StLOrca
StLOrca
11 months ago
Reply to  Drew

In the same vein, Brazil. “Are you ashamed of your ducts?”

Hoonicus
Hoonicus
11 months ago

I don’t think excessive laughter or shock are advisable.
Watch the entire run of NOVA and learn yourself something!
Yes, I’m your mum.

Captain Muppet
Captain Muppet
11 months ago

I guess as Torch is going to be up on blocks for a while we should add our Christmas/holiday movies.

I like to do three things at Christmas:
1 The Thing From Another World (1951). Drugs will help fix the pacing. The alien terror is…
… a vegetable. Like sprouts. They might be a UK only thing for Christmas, at least I hope so for your sakes.
2 The Thing (2011) the prequel. Knowing they all die at the end somehow doesn’t ruin it. It’s good but not as good as:
3 The Thing (1982) it has everything for a great Christmas/holidays film. Snow, drinking, a new dog that’s only fun for a day, the feeling of being locked in with people you dread have turned in to your worst nightmare and a bearded man who makes everything better.

I had three months off sick once with a fractured spine, and I watched the Princess Bride a lot. Not on pain killers either.

The last time I was on pain killers was after having my face fixed and I was too hideous to leave the house, so I watched Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead, both with every commentary option I could find.

Angel "the Cobra" Martin
Angel "the Cobra" Martin
11 months ago

Back in the 90’s my roommate was bed ridden with a bad back injury. His brother sent him a 2 hour VHS tape of porn with all the naughty stuff edited out. There was something like 22 movies on the 2 hour tape. It was something we watched for years because of how bad it was. If you want an example of bad acting and plot holes, watch something like that. It was both infuriating and glorious.

MATTinMKE
MATTinMKE
11 months ago

WTF?

Who would make such a tape, and why?

Also, I think WTF is pretty funny in this context.

Eric Davis
Eric Davis
11 months ago

Plot holes are not the holes most people are seeking when they watch porn.

Clay T
Clay T
11 months ago

Back when I was racing boats I had a side gig working on porn producers offshore boats.
Every now and again I’d end up at one of their houses up in San Fernando valley.
Someone would pop in the latest feature film (it was the ’90’s, gonzos were still in their infancy), sit down and watch it. They’d fast forward past the boning and sit there admiring their ‘acting’.

SirRaoulDuke
SirRaoulDuke
11 months ago

He’s high? Does he have a nice sound system for the TV? If yes to both, the obvious answer is Stop Making Sense.

DriveSheSaid
DriveSheSaid
11 months ago

Sid and Marty Kroft shows
Phantom of the Paradise
The Fisher King
Color Me Kubrick
The Road to Wellville

Last edited 11 months ago by DriveSheSaid
StLOrca
StLOrca
11 months ago
Reply to  DriveSheSaid

+1 Witchie-Poo lusting after Timmy’s Magic Flute

Doctor Nine
Doctor Nine
11 months ago

Depends. If he’s feeling maudlin and romantic, I’d go with “Phantom of the Paradise” with Paul Williams. If he’s feeling whimsical, I’d go with Miyazaki’s “My Neighbor Totoro”. If he’s just looking for visuals, then of course, Disney’s “Fantasia”.

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
11 months ago
Reply to  Doctor Nine

Also Howl’s Moving Castle

DriveSheSaid
DriveSheSaid
11 months ago
Reply to  Doctor Nine

Damn! You beat me to POTP!

Double Wide Harvey Park
Double Wide Harvey Park
11 months ago
Reply to  DriveSheSaid

Good choice!

Gary Lynch
Gary Lynch
11 months ago

LOVE those mustard colored sheets and comforter. SO 1960s.

Movies….

Any Monty Python. The TV series too. Me thinks British humour is needed. Although Benny Hill might be a bit much…

Will also add Animal House…. Why not?

But don’t forget to listen to music. In this state: Pink Floyd. And maybe some early Yes.

Jim Stageman
Jim Stageman
11 months ago

Well, definitely not the Heffalumps and Woozels from Winnie the Pooh—that’ll mess you up

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
11 months ago

Natural Born Killers
Also, one of my faves: Dark Side of The Rainbow on YT…love Pink Floyd!

Dalton
Dalton
11 months ago

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas & Fantastic Planet at the same time

Doctor Nine
Doctor Nine
11 months ago
Reply to  Dalton

Yes. One with each eye.

Pat Rich
Pat Rich
11 months ago

Probably cannonball run 1 and 2. They will make most sense on pain killers I think.

Rapgomi
Rapgomi
11 months ago

Futurama – Clever, funny, and surreal… but not overly serious or hard to follow. When I had a head injury it was the perfect time kill while my memory recovered.

Not Sure
Not Sure
11 months ago
Reply to  Rapgomi

+ 10000

The Mark
The Mark
11 months ago

We don’t want him laughing, that will hurt the sternum.
Vanilla Sky is pretty trippy. I always thought Raising Arizona was too. For something long and boring, the original Dune might work.

Andy Individual
Andy Individual
11 months ago

Herbie the Love Bug series. You’d have to be Torch on meds to sit through all of those.

Harmanx
Harmanx
11 months ago

Movie while hopped up on potentially addictive pain meds? Requiem for a Dream

Jim Warren
Jim Warren
11 months ago

Much like a drugged mind…Vanishing Point

Mike Smith
Mike Smith
11 months ago
Reply to  Jim Warren

As I was brainstorming my list it occurred to me that a *lot* of the self-absorbed movies that typified 70’s cinema would probably work better if you watched them stoned.

Doctor Nine
Doctor Nine
11 months ago
Reply to  Mike Smith

I think that’s because they were more or less assuming the audience WAS stoned.

Motorhead Mike
Motorhead Mike
11 months ago
Reply to  Jim Warren

Wasn’t Kowalski on speed? Now the Primal Scream record, on the other hand… Made by smack heads, for smack heads. Fantastic!

Rad Barchetta
Rad Barchetta
11 months ago

The Wizard of Oz while playing Dark Side of the Moon

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
11 months ago
Reply to  Rad Barchetta

Hell yeah, it’s awesome! Dark Side of the Rainbow free on YT

David Lorengo
David Lorengo
11 months ago

Weekend by Jean Luc Godard.

The trip becomes a chaotic journey through a French countryside populated by bizarre characters and punctuated by violent car accidents.” It’s everything you would expect from a French art film.

Bill Amick
Bill Amick
11 months ago

I would suggest Sturgill Simpson’s movie Sound and Fury: batshit crazy with various types of media to keep you on your toes (here’s the trailer):

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HvT0rzUo4zc

SirRaoulDuke
SirRaoulDuke
11 months ago
Reply to  Bill Amick

This is a good suggestion.

Mike Smith
Mike Smith
11 months ago

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension
Battle Beyond the Stars
They Live
Krull
The OG 1980’s Dune
The entire Ernest P. Worell filmography
The Red Green Show

Car-related:
The Blues Brothers
Both Thomas Crown Affairs (McQueen and Brosnan)
Le Mans
Grand Prix (the earlier, better version of Le Mans with James Garner and an actual plot)
Two Lane Blacktop (obligatory)
Cannonball Run
Speed Zone (the Cannonball Run knockoff where they skip a Countach over a lake like a stone)
Smokey and the Bandit

There’s a whole category of movies that is guaranteed to freak you out (Jacobs Ladder jumps immediately to mind) but we don’t want Jason dealing with that kind of stress. Laughter is better, I think.

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
11 months ago
Reply to  Mike Smith

Waaaaaay back when, my buddy Phil convinced us to watch the OG Dune. This was back in the days when we rented not just the tape, but also the player.

We got everything home and connected. I cracked open the big black VHS case, extracted the tape, and a booklet fell out.

It was, no kidding, a DICTIONARY for all the weird words in the movie.

It was at that moment that I knew we weren’t going to have a good time.

And we did not.

Watch the new Dune…

Rapgomi
Rapgomi
11 months ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

I love the first movie! But it is nearly unwatchable if you haven’t read the book.

Jeff Jordan
Jeff Jordan
11 months ago
Reply to  Rapgomi

I’m still trying to figure out that movie. Maybe I should have read the book.

Jason Torchinsky
Jason Torchinsky
11 months ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

I actually love Lynch’s Dune and saw it in the theater as a kid and remember getting handed that glossary sheet! I’d kill for that paper now! You’re the first person I’ve ever encountered who mentioned anything like that! Wow!

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
11 months ago

Well, of you loved Dune, check out The Expanse on Amazon Prime. It is excellent!

Mike Smith
Mike Smith
11 months ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

Dude, what Bene Gesserit harshed on your Kwisatz Haderach? đŸ˜‰

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
11 months ago
Reply to  Mike Smith

Um… yes?

Wait, is that bad?

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
11 months ago

A Scanner Darkly was pretty weird sober. I can’t imagine what it would be like on drugs.

Also, and I cannot recommend this highly enough, everyone here should watch Velocipastor. Best. Movie. EVER.

Abdominal Snoman
Abdominal Snoman
11 months ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

Thank you, I was surprised it took so long for someone to mention A Scanner Darkly, however I’m also worried what it may do to his fragile psyche đŸ™‚

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