Getting pulled over by police is something that almost certainly happens to most drivers at least once in their lives. Sometimes, you have a dead brake light and don’t realize it. Or, perhaps you’re testing a brand new Chevy Camaro in Virginia and go just a bit too fast. Whatever the reason, traffic stops happen. What’s the dumbest reason you’ve gotten pulled over?
I’m somewhat surprised to say that despite my love for reaching the far end of tachometers, my driving record is largely clean. I like to keep my thrill-seeking vehicular shenanigans away from where others could get hurt, and I suppose that also keeps me out of the spotlight of the law.
Still, I’ve goofed up a couple of times. The weirdest time I got stopped happened to be when I was customizing a 1986 Honda Elite 150D for the Gambler 500. Oh yes, I took the pop-up headlight wonder off-road! I got the scooter for a few hundred bucks because it had a bent frame, no title, and rough panels. It was far enough past its prime that I didn’t feel guilty about beating it up.
I quickly discovered a critical issue with the scooter and it was the fact that it didn’t have a working cooling fan. I fixed that with an oversized fan from a bigger scooter. Then, I added off-road light pods to complete the Mad Max theme I was going for. I left the wiring exposed for that rough look seen in that movie series’ universe. One more repair was to the scooter’s ignition, which jammed and broke the key. One quick detour to eBay later and I was back on the road!
When I was finished ruining this poor scooter, I took it on a test ride. As I said before, the scooter didn’t have a title. The ol’ Vermont trick was still a thing back then, so that’s what I did. But I didn’t want to wait for the plate to come in to take it for a test ride. Instead, I slapped the plate from a Suzuki GS on the back and hopped on. I figured I was just going around the block, so it would have been fine.
It wasn’t. Halfway through the short ride, I got pulled over. Now, I initially thought I got pulled over either because of the license plate or the janky modifications. It was neither. The officer said he pulled me over because I didn’t put my foot down at a stop sign. I knew that in Illinois, stopping a motorcycle technically doesn’t count until your foot is down, but I didn’t think anyone would enforce it. Stopped is stopped, right?
Well, this officer did try to enforce it, but he was amused by my little science project. He found nothing overtly illegal, but he did notice the plate belonged to a Suzuki rather than the Honda. Making matters worse, he stopped me in a dead zone, so my insurance app wasn’t working. The officer explained that a wrong plate, no provable insurance, and no ownership documents were more than enough grounds to send my crappy scoot to the impound.
I explained myself and the officer was nice about everything. I got a warning and my instructions were to head home immediately and that the scooter better not show up again with the wrong plate. No problem! I learned a few valuable lessons that night. The officer informed me that at least in this state, it’s better to run no plates than plates from the wrong vehicle. It also helps to keep a local digital copy of your insurance plus a physical copy.
In second place was the time I was stopped for speeding in one of my Smarts. It perhaps should have been more than just a ticket, but the cop couldn’t stop laughing at witnessing a Smart going so fast. The laugh was apparently good enough to let me off with a warning.
So, those are the dumbest stops I’ve ever had. What about you?
Topshot: framestock/stock.adobe.com
I got pulled over for 45mph in a 35 zone. On my bicycle! Down a steep incline. The cop (and myself) was so impressed that I hit 45 on a bicycle, that he just gave me a warning.
Got pulled over because the dumbass cop mixed up 06/08 with 08/06. Also, they got real pissy that my car’s non-Pennsylvania registration form did not look like a Pennsylvania registration form.
Is that the scooter Linda Hamilton (Sarah Conner) drives in The Terminator??
Pulled over in my bus after being followed for 30 minutes, after the cop waited and watched me fuel up, and less than 1/4 mile from the city limits sign. For having expired registration. I had driven it to the inspection station and was driving to the tax office to register it. Completely legal in Texas to drive to and from a state inspection station. Cop tried to tell me I drove too far to the inspection station and should have gone to one closer to my home, even though I was within the county and less than 15 miles from my house.
Judge threw the ticket out when I showed him the inspection and that I’d registered it the same day.
Last summer, I had just driven off the pier at Naval Station Everett on a lovely Saturday morning. In front of me was an F150 belonging to base police. About halfway down the street to the rest of base, it pulled to the side, switched its hazards on, and slowed to a stop.
Well, this being two lanes in each direction, I moved into the left lane and passed him. No worries, right?
HAH! As soon as I passed him, he flipped on lights and siren and pulled me over. Apparently, he was getting ready to make a u-turn – something of which he had shown precisely zero indication – and the civilian cop in the truck cited me for reckless driving, while the enlisted military police officer (MA) watched uncomfortably while a Navy chaplain received a completely bogus citation.
I remained polite and calm throughout the encounter, though if he couldn’t gather from my glare that I would’ve been happy to punt him into Puget Sound, then he was dumber than a box of rocks (admittedly, a strong possibility).
The following Monday, I marched over to base ops and went into the primary law enforcement office. I presented my citation and explained what happened, while the MA chief petty officer listened, developing a look on his face that I can only describe as, “Oh good, Officer F***head was at it again.”
When I was done, MAC took the citation, and said, “Don’t worry about it, Chaps. We’ll… uh… have a conversation with him.”
Citation dismissed.
One fine Sunday back in the last century, I was on a group ride with a bunch of other motorcycles and things got out of hand and it became a race. We came over a hill and there was the cop car and it’s radar. He waved us all over and began figuring out what to do when a rider spoke up stating he was a Barrister (lawyer) and he’d like to ask the question “Which one of us was speeding?”. Cop just about lost his rag, gave us a stern warning and, although after that we were very well behaved, we kept on seeing cop cars on our ride. Probably wouldn’t work nowadys.
I got stopped for “swinging wide” on a right turn. You have no choice at this particular intersection. You either swing a little wide, or run over the curb. I had worked late so I’m guessing he assumed I was drinking.
The best one was I got pulled over by a cop in my very small hometown. He gave me the full sobriety test, even though I hadn’t had a drop. He went to get the breathalyzer, even though I passed everything, and I said. “So, Brent, why did you pull me over?” He shines his flashlight over my TR-7 and says, “Oh, uh, your windshield is cracked.” How he saw that from the side of the road at 12:30am is beyond me…
I got pulled over about 4 blocks (maybe 60 seconds) after leaving the courthouse where I had been to fight a speeding ticket (I lost). I asked the officer why he pulled me over and he said my car didn’t have any emblems or insignia on it. I had removed these because I was doing some body work. He claimed that thieves usually remove these first thing after they steal a car to make it harder to identify. He followed me from the courthouse and I still believe that his buddy who was in court to testify against me had me pulled over as retribution for fighting the ticket.
Kept me there for about 20 minutes before letting me go.
I’m a trucker. They don’t need a reson to pull me over. Random Roadside Inspection is definitely a thing for us. Hell, you car drivers think you got it rough? The Green Book of trucker specific regulations is about the same word count as the Bible. Including a rule stating the bed in your sleeper has to be made properly at all times. And yes, it’s a finable offence.
I was pulled over on the street on wrinkle wall slicks, front runners, and open exhaust once…
Well, more than once on those, but only once with all three at the same time.
I once played music in a town that banned rock and dancing. Wait..
Oh yeat I was in Philly when some people were up to no good. Wait…
I was in a small town late at night when an town officer tracked me on the high way for 10 minutes. He flipped on his high beams and when I popped the accelator, blues.
He said I was speeding (I wasn’t) asked to see the radar gun, then it became a tail light violation.
I got out of it by poainting out he was out of town and a tail light out did not mean hot pursuit.
Then I used a quirk in the law where only State Troopers could issue tickets and citations on state high ways and asked for one. He let me go.
My crime, driving at 2 am with a taillight out.
I got pulled over in high school for “losing control of my vehicle.” Meaning I swerved around another motorist going the wrong way down the one way road I was traveling on. Somehow, the officer didn’t see the wrong way driver (so he said) and told me I was endangering others by driving so recklessly. My arguing with the officer didn’t seem to be going over well, as he ordered me out of the car and had me stand behind it. (Forgot to mention, this is the street leading from my high school, 5 mins after school got out, so all my classmates are seeing me get pat down behind my car) The officer went back to his car, ran my info and somehow came back with a warning 10 mins later. Yeah, a very confusing day.
I got pulled over for drinking a root beer once. Some grandma in a grocery store parking lot saw me take a sip and found the cop on the other side of the parking lot. I didn’t make it 100 yards out of the parking lot. My hands were shaking bad enough that i almost spilled the root beer. Guy let me go, I drive 10 miles under the speed limit the rest of the drive home.
Dumbest? Driving with out of state plates in Utah near Green River on I-70 in a stock 99′ Buick regal.
Wasnt speeding or anything illegal. after dissapointingly (for him) searching my car and finding nothing he gave his “reason” for pulling me over as window tint, which was stock probably 50%. Everybody knew that was not the real reason, the local police department is just itching to get an out of stater for something because they are less likely to fight it in court.
My brother and I were pulled over by three squad cars late one Friday afternoon driving home from a local bar. Ordered at gunpoint to dismount slowly one at a time, remove helmets and lay on the ground we were cuffed, frisked and sat in the back of separate squads. It was confusing as it seemed like an extreme response to any possible traffic violation. Turns out that some local yahoo’s had robbed nearby gas station on a motorcycle. The cops let us go with apologies. We were relieved BC we were both far too loaded to be driving. Turns out we both knew the local yahoo’s , who were both idiots.
Illegal left turn. That exact turn had been just fine a few days before but the rich folks who lived on that street had convinced the city to restrict access to their street for *reasons* so up went a sign: No left turn from this time to that time. Unfortunately the sign was small and not well placed so I missed it. The left turn light that was still working OTOH clearly had given me the green and the the cops who had set up the trap were ready to spring it.
Within a short time enough people complained such that the restriction was removed. Unfortunately my ticket was not and I was too inexperienced to know it was contestable.
My only speeding ticket to date. Doing 80km/h in a 70 km/h zone in Bosnia in 2007. Couldn’t really complain. Save for the fact that I was the slowest thing on the road by some stretch. Watching the cars being pulled over coming the other way while my ticket was being written up I realized my crime (and theirs) was, in fact, being in a Croatian registered vehicle. Cost me the equivalent of $15 and judging by the very handwritten nature of the ticket I don’t think that ever reached an official account.
I saw a cop once behind me and did a speedy left hand turn, but nothing illegal. He pulled me over and was a definite gruff about things. I handed over my insurance and registration that I’d gotten a few weeks prior at a private registrar (Alberta, Canada) and he came back WAY MORE GRUFF. Apparently my White 2001 Golf was registered as a Red 1996 Ford Ranger and he thought I’d stolen the plate, or the car, or both. I explained the fault must have been with the registrar and that I was two blocks away and I’d go straight there to resolve it.
There was one time I was going 90km/h in a 90km/h zone that is known for speeding through a national park in my TDI. I smiled (genuinely) at the officer with the radar gun as I went by and he pulled me over for tint. Totally my fault for having some tint, but still don’t smile at the police!
I have a couple.
2008, I had ridden my motorcycle (2004 Aprilia Futura) up to MotoGP in Indy from Houston. Hurricane Ike rolled through that weekend. No idea if my house is in one piece, flooded, etc. so make the marathon trek back.
17 hours later, I’m rolling through Polk County in Texas. Only vehicle on the road, as everyone is without power, including 2M+ people in Houston. All of a sudden, I’m lit up in the dark. Pull over, shut off the bike, and sit, as it’s now past midnight and last thing I want is a nervous deputy.
Get off the bike, take off my helmet, and explain that my registration etc. are under my seat.
Deputy asks where I’m headed?- “Home” Where am I coming from? – “Indianapolis”
Explain the situation, and got a “Ride safe, there’s lots of crazies out there”.
Other one, I had an ’82 Westfalia, and I got a speeding ticket in New Mexico because I finally had a hill, and was trying to get some momentum to make it back up the other side, and got pinged at the bottom. Cop tried to say I was doing 75, but the only way that VW was ever going to do 75 is if it was dropped from 500′ in the air. He wrote me up for 55, and I kept that ticket for a long time just to prove that it would go this fast.
On one of my numerous drives back and forth between my parents’ house in Illinois and college in Superior, WI, I came over a hilltop on US 53 just outside Rice Lake, WI at 67 MPH. In a 55 zone. In a snowstorm. And of course, just as I crested the hill, so did a Rice Lake police cruiser – still a Plymouth Fury in those days, if I remember right. Predictably, I saw his lights come on as he turned around to follow me, so I obligingly stopped at the bottom of the next hill to wait for him.
Not only was I speeding, but I had a car with one-month-away-from-expiring Illinois plates – or rather, one Illinois plate, since the front plate had been knocked off in a minor fender-bender months earlier and I never reattached it. But I did have it; it was just behind my seat. I had a busted, but still functional, turn signal from the same incident that I hadn’t replaced yet. I also had just turned 21, and still had my paper temporary driver’s license. Legal, but hinky-looking. Oh, and the horn button on the steering wheel was MIA; the horn still worked, by touching the wire to the center nut, as I demonstrated when the officer inquired about it. In short, I looked like one-stop shopping for a cop looking to fill a ticket quota.
Somehow – and don’t ask me how – I got out of it all with nothing but a fix-it ticket for the front plate and the horn, and a stern warning not to speed through Rice Lake again.
After he left, my girlfriend, who had watched all this unfold from the passenger’s seat, looked at me and asked, “How the hell did you talk your way out of that one?”
I had no idea. But I didn’t break 55 MPH the whole rest of the way to Superior.
I’ve been to Rice Lake. I don’t recall there being any hills.
Yeah, “hill” is a little optimistic for that road. But there are enough little terrain changes that in some spots you can’t see oncoming cars until they pop over the horizon.
Was trying to find the spot on Google street view, but it all looks different now. It wasn’t divided, or limited access, back then. Just a regular 2 laner.
I got pulled over in my old ’07 Canyon.
To paint the picture:
-black with 20% window tint
-2″ lift
-black & chrome wheels and 32″ A/Ts
-driving through a low-income area at around 1am, on my way home from work.
When the cop walked up to the window, he seemed genuinely surprised to see my pasty white, 5’7″, nerd glass wearing self at the wheel.
He asked me where I was going:
Me- “I’m heading home from work”.
Cop- “At little late to be working, no?”
Me- “….but YOU’RE working”
He let me go without checking any paperwork. Good ‘ol profiling at work!
Decades ago, with a Florida car, registration and rear plate (only one issued), but staying in LA for months. Pulled over (several times) for “no front plate.” Even after having a polite conversation with each issuing officer, they each issued a ticket regardless. “California Law requires a front plate…” May as well have been a drone or robot. Zero personality/understanding or even willingness to listen. (ignorant ticketing CHiP, LASD and BHPD officers; I’m sure not all are such, right?)
Florida’s version of “Traffic Law Center” (or some such “fight your ticket” company) was able to get each dismissed, but still cost me $ each time to that company. Thankfully, zero $ went to support the regime in CA and it was a lesson to not move there I guess!.
Ah Cali. Trucker hell. The revenuers out there love to mess with trucks.
Not me, but years ago my mom was driving through a small rural town on the way home, and had a cop car pull out behind her. Once out of town (65 mph zone), she decided to go 55 mph just to be safe, and got pulled over. Cop asked her if she knew why he pulled her over, she said no, he replied that she was “blocking traffic”. Mom told him that was ridiculous since he was the only other vehicle on the road, and was sent on her way.
For “going into a curve too fast”… italian police at their finest. About 50 Dollars which was a lot of money then and a hurt ego because it wasn’t very fast (35-40 mph).
My husband was pulled over many years back while riding his BMW R1100RT. The reason: the Washington State Patrol were about to get BMW motorcycles and the cop wanted to ask him about how he liked his. I’m not joking.
Over the years I was pulled over for the same reason in various cars I owned.
I have a line rehearsed for that situation! At least in my mind it goes
Cop: do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: because my car is AWESOME?
It probably wouldn’t go over well.